On Sunday night Robbie takes me back home. “Can I come in and spend the night? I really don’t wanna go back to the hotel”
I kiss him “I’m sorry but I don’t think it would be wise. What if Antigone and Howard decide to pay me a surprise visit?”
“They would need to learn how to use the phone and I would hide in the closet”
“You need to be patient” I kiss him again “I promise it will be over soon”
“I’ll call you tomorrow. We could go and see some houses. ”
“You mean mansions”
“I meant castles”
“It’s a date”
It is already late afternoon on Monday. Emily is sitting at her desk writing on her computer. Mark is walking up and down in the corridor, right in front of her door. He sighs, and moans trying to catch her attention.
It is almost impossible for her to concentrate, so Emily closes her laptop “What is it Mark, is there something bothering you? That would be sarcasm at its best, in case you’re too busy moaning to notice.”
He sticks his head in “Can I come in? Really? I don’t wanna bother you if you’re writing”
“I guess it is a little late for that, what is it?”
“I might have screwed up”
“So I guess we’re sticking to our daily routine ….”
He gets closer and shake his head “This time is different; I might have done something I was not supposed to”
“I’m bored” and she looks at him with her arm crossed.
“I might have accidentally said something that was supposed to be a secret instead”
“What did you do exactly? How accidental was it?”
“Accidental as in I couldn’t hold it anymore, you know how I hate mind games, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t get dance routines straight, so I got in the car and I went to see Howard and I told him” closes his eyes “mate-we-need-to-talk-there’s-something-I-believe-you-should-know-Emilia-is-having-an-affair-with-Robbie” and catches his breath.
She covers her eyes with her hands “When did it happen?”
“More than an hour ago”
“You are a bloody idiot!”
“Tell me something I don’t know. What do we do now?”
“You’ve done enough already. Let me call Emilia”
She picks her phone up and dials my number. My mobile is off. While she tries my office she mumbles “You are a little stupid man Mark Owen, you are a little, stupid man with a big mouth” and before he can say something back my secretary answers “Mrs. Donald’s office, may I help you?”
“Hi Jane, this Emily Foster, I need to talk to Emilia, it’s urgent”
“She’s in a meeting with the budget people”
“I don’t care, this is important”
“Her meeting is too, believe me. She gave me clear orders; I can interrupt her only if William Shakespeare himself calls because he wrote something new and he’s looking for a publisher”
“I don’t have time for this. I need to talk to her”
“You can leave a message if you want”
She rolls her eyes, “It’s not like a have a choice; tell her to call me as soon as she gets it. It’s important. It’s a matter of life or death”
She hangs up, “She’s in a meeting, she doesn’t know”
“Should I call Robbie?”
“No, you stay out of it.” walks to the window and she has a flash “You mean Robbie, as in your Robbie?”
“Yes”
“Oh GOD!” ……… “Could you please tell me what happen at Howard’s?”
He sits in a chair looking at her, “I felt so bad, I couldn’t take it any longer. I got to his house, still unsure whether to tell him or not. He was playing the piano. Antigone sitting on his lap hitting the DO key with her index finger. She saw me and her face lit up.
‘Uncle Mark look at me I can play!’
‘Yes you can little princess. Why don’t you go get your new doll, daddy needs to talk to uncle Mark’ and he gently places her on the floor. She goes up the stairs, dancing and singing. Howard looks at her, in a way I’ve never seen before, as he wants to protect her from all the pain life will cause her. He turns to me, brushing his hands against his legs ‘I knew this moment would come. I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear it. By the look on your face it’s bad. Who is he?’
‘Howard I’m so sorry but I can’t …’
‘It’s not your fault. I really thought we still had a chance. But I saw it in her eyes. There’s someone else now. I just don’t understand how you know. I would expect Dawn to be standing right there with that concerned look on her face, not you’
He sits on the sofa, pouring some water in a glass, pretending to be cool and fine but I can see he’s exploding. His all life is crumbling to dust, again and so soon.
‘She’s just confused, it won’t last. She loves you’
‘She lies to me; she’s never done it before. Not even through our darkest times. Ever’
He drinks.
I get closer, not daring to sit down. He’s like a plane about to crash against a mountain. I’m the bloody pilot but the only thing I can do I scream May Day.
I take a deep breath and I tell him ‘It’s Robbie’
And he answers with a weak smile ‘I know, bloody Robert, that name is like a curse’
I put my hand over his shoulders ‘it’s Robbie Howard, Robbie’
I guess it takes him a few minutes to realize, but his expression does not change. He still has a hint of a smile on his face but his eyes are cold. He’s not moving.
Just silence around us, for the longest time until Antigone comes back ‘Look this is my new doll, her name’s Isa’
‘NOT NOW. GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM’
She freezes; I’ve never heard Howard raising her voice with her. She starts walking backwards and disappears up the stairs.
‘Robbie … you’re saying is Robbie. No, you’re wrong. She wouldn’t, she couldn’t’. He stands up, not knowing what do with his hands. He’s breathing is heavy. ‘She let that fucking druggie take care of my daughter? She let that fucking nutcase into our home?’ he’s walking back and forth, like a lion in a cage. ‘Robbie and my wife. ROBBIE AND MY WIFE’ and takes a vase from the table and smashes it against the wall.
‘Howard listen to me, he’s clean now, he cares about A’ but I cannot finish my sentence because he’s pinning me to the wall holding me by my throat. He’s out of his mind “How … can’t …breath…’
“Never talk to me like that again, you hear me? Don’t you dare defending him’ and lets me go.
I cough and try to catch my breath.
‘Where is he?’
‘Howard I can’t’
He slowly gets close to me again and grabs my jacket, his mouth close to my face ‘Mark I mean it. I’m this close to loosing control. And we will both regret it. I’ll ask you one more time. Where is he hiding?’
‘I can’t tell you. You need to calm down’
I’m still standing against the wall, he rests his forehead against it, few inches from my face. His voice is a hiss, low and scary. No emotion. ‘If you don’t tell me now I will find out by myself, but it will be too late. I’ll kill him. I promise. I’m going to kill him, and I’ll kill her too’
‘The Ritz, code words Sponge Bob’
venerdì 29 giugno 2007
NOBODY 18
I stroke his hair and he pushes himself up, lays on his side next to me, propping himself up on his elbow. He caresses my shoulder and kisses me softly, smiling as I break the kiss.
“You didn’t really mean it”
“I did, and to prove it to you I’ll repeat it over and over and over, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you”
“Stop it now” I shush him placing my index finger on his lips and I seat on the bed, I need to try to find the right words “You don’t love me, you love the memory of me, the way we used to be”
He gently rests his head on my belly stroking my knee “Sorry to disappoint you madam but that isn’t gonna happen.” He turns his head towards me with a wicked smile “I hated you. No matter what you think, you are not a funny person. I mean you were a giant bore. You treated my like I was you personal page. Let’s go here, let’s do that, you don’t really wanna wear that, could carry this for me, so on and so forth. At the very beginning your English was so bad I did not even get half the things you told me. And besides, do you remember the time you made me listen to your presentation on Virginia Woolf, the one you had to give in front of the entire class? Well, between a stream of consciousness and a character analysis, I felt so depressed I wanted to jump out of the window. That is the very night I started assuming drugs. Yes, it is your entire fault! So don’t tell me I love the memory of you. I am not that fucked up. I love the new you though. Very much indeed.”
“You loved me!” and I tickle him
“Hands off me! No I didn’t” and laughs
“Take it back!”
“I can do better than that! Stay right there and close your eyes.”
I sigh and do as I’m told, after few minutes he asks me to open them and I see him, sitting on the bed holding a guitar.
“Well, my fair lady, when I wrote this song I was actually looking at a picture of Angelina Jolie. But she chose Brad over me, go figure!”
I throw a pillow at him.
“To tell you the truth, I wrote so many love songs over the years, and I was just hoping something beautiful would eventually come my way. It is standing right in front of me now. And this is for you”
I look at him speechless, I’m not good at romantic stuff, I wish I could say something back, and he starts singing ‘Heaven from Here’.
‘Well it all seems out of reach
“You didn’t really mean it”
“I did, and to prove it to you I’ll repeat it over and over and over, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you”
“Stop it now” I shush him placing my index finger on his lips and I seat on the bed, I need to try to find the right words “You don’t love me, you love the memory of me, the way we used to be”
He gently rests his head on my belly stroking my knee “Sorry to disappoint you madam but that isn’t gonna happen.” He turns his head towards me with a wicked smile “I hated you. No matter what you think, you are not a funny person. I mean you were a giant bore. You treated my like I was you personal page. Let’s go here, let’s do that, you don’t really wanna wear that, could carry this for me, so on and so forth. At the very beginning your English was so bad I did not even get half the things you told me. And besides, do you remember the time you made me listen to your presentation on Virginia Woolf, the one you had to give in front of the entire class? Well, between a stream of consciousness and a character analysis, I felt so depressed I wanted to jump out of the window. That is the very night I started assuming drugs. Yes, it is your entire fault! So don’t tell me I love the memory of you. I am not that fucked up. I love the new you though. Very much indeed.”
“You loved me!” and I tickle him
“Hands off me! No I didn’t” and laughs
“Take it back!”
“I can do better than that! Stay right there and close your eyes.”
I sigh and do as I’m told, after few minutes he asks me to open them and I see him, sitting on the bed holding a guitar.
“Well, my fair lady, when I wrote this song I was actually looking at a picture of Angelina Jolie. But she chose Brad over me, go figure!”
I throw a pillow at him.
“To tell you the truth, I wrote so many love songs over the years, and I was just hoping something beautiful would eventually come my way. It is standing right in front of me now. And this is for you”
I look at him speechless, I’m not good at romantic stuff, I wish I could say something back, and he starts singing ‘Heaven from Here’.
‘Well it all seems out of reach
I will take the blame if it keeps the peace
My shelf life’s short
Wish they’d make it more easy to follow
And I’ve been caught with nothing but
Love on my mind
we are love don’t let it fall on deaf ears
Now it’s clear we have seen heaven from here.’
I have no words but I really feel like crying now, *must not cry* so I break the spell “You are so sweet I need to take a blood test. I fear I might have diabetes”
He puts the guitar aside and kisses me playfully “You are not scaring me away. I don’t care about what you do or say. Mrs. Karma Killer, I’m here to stay. Or even better, I’m here to ask you to move in with me. Come to L.A. We could be happy there, no tabloids. There are excellent schools and I’m sure Antigone would love to be in a place where the sun shines all year long.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. Come with me”
“I can’t, Antigone and Howard are in England. I cannot separate them. And what about my job?”
“I’ll double whatever they pay you”
“Do I look like a prostitute to you?”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it”
“I can’t”
He looks into my eyes “I’ll move back to England then”
“You would do that?”
“If you don’t stop being so surprise every time I say something extremely romantic or chick-flick movie like, I’m going to take offence”
“It’s just unexpected”
“But good”
“Good”.
We cuddle in bed and I fall asleep for a little while. When I wake up he’s gone.
I put something on and I find him in front of the TV watching a football match.
“Who’s playing?”
He doesn’t look at me, way too taken by the game “Port Vale and Tottenham”
“Hu! Cool, is it the world cup?”
Still staring at the screen “That was last year, and you need to have national teams, national anthems and larger stadiums for that. For god’s sake you’re world champion!”
“Really, am I? So what is it?”
“No talking during football”
I seat really close to him and try to hug him but he tries to playfully push me away “No chick stuff either.”
“Right, could you please tell me who am I supposed to support?”
“White jersey”
“Who’s that one?”
“What about going out and swim? It’s still nice and warm. It’s injury time. Can you be quiet somewhere else for 5 minutes?”
“No, I want to stay here right by you, close to you, really close to you” and I hug him even tighter but he jumps screaming obscenities to the referee.
“What did the poor man do to deserve your fury?
“Are you blind? That was offside! Don’t look at me like that! … you have no clue what I’m talking about, have you?”
“Nope. Offside does not ring a bell; judging from your reaction must be an infectious disease”
“Women! It’s a simple rule, a player cannot gain an advantage by waiting for the ball near the opposing goal with only the goalkeeper between him and the goal, the goalkeeper being the last defender of course”
“In English?”
He rolls his eyes. “Picture this my sweet shopaholic friend: You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting. In the meantime Dawn is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you.” “She would definitely do it for me”. “That’s not the point, focus - If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and - while it is in flight - you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes. Always remembering that until the purse has - actually been thrown - it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper. There you go honey. Professor Williams has once again spread the football verb among the pagans.”*
“I’ll take your word for that. Who’s that one?” I stand up and go in front of the screen and point at one of the players.
“Get out! You’re not sea-through!”
“WHO is he?”
“The enemy, Tainio”
“He’s cute and has a strong, male name ‘Tainio’ can you imagine what he must be in bed? Hi, ‘I’m Tainio’” I say with a very deep tone.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I like him and I guess I just found myself a football team, go Tottenham!”
“That’s not the way it goes”
“Who says?”
“Everyone. This is not a game. It’s serious stuff! You don’t pick a team because there are cute players in it”“I’m an aesthete” “Still not see-through”
“May I remind you we came here to spend time together. Together as in you and me? How can we do it if you stay there like a mummy wearing a bikini? – Ops! That would be you few hours ago! How come tanning is no good and football is? Why are 22 men running around in boxers so important?” I’m standing in front of the screen, arms spread so he can only see few patches of the green field but no real action.
“Enough” stands up and moves towards me “You’re in for a world of pain!” and stars tickling me I try to get away but he’s too strong. He pushes me on the floor “No messing around with football. I’m gonna give you a lesson you won’t forget”
“Robbie I’m going to piss my pants, stop it now” I manage to crawl few centimeters but he’s over me again.
“Excuse me” and we turn towards the butler who’s at the door “Dinner is served”
“Did you hear? Dinner is served, I call for a truce”“Just because you were losing”
“I’m a world champion, I wan already. Eat my socks!”
I have no words but I really feel like crying now, *must not cry* so I break the spell “You are so sweet I need to take a blood test. I fear I might have diabetes”
He puts the guitar aside and kisses me playfully “You are not scaring me away. I don’t care about what you do or say. Mrs. Karma Killer, I’m here to stay. Or even better, I’m here to ask you to move in with me. Come to L.A. We could be happy there, no tabloids. There are excellent schools and I’m sure Antigone would love to be in a place where the sun shines all year long.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. Come with me”
“I can’t, Antigone and Howard are in England. I cannot separate them. And what about my job?”
“I’ll double whatever they pay you”
“Do I look like a prostitute to you?”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it”
“I can’t”
He looks into my eyes “I’ll move back to England then”
“You would do that?”
“If you don’t stop being so surprise every time I say something extremely romantic or chick-flick movie like, I’m going to take offence”
“It’s just unexpected”
“But good”
“Good”.
We cuddle in bed and I fall asleep for a little while. When I wake up he’s gone.
I put something on and I find him in front of the TV watching a football match.
“Who’s playing?”
He doesn’t look at me, way too taken by the game “Port Vale and Tottenham”
“Hu! Cool, is it the world cup?”
Still staring at the screen “That was last year, and you need to have national teams, national anthems and larger stadiums for that. For god’s sake you’re world champion!”
“Really, am I? So what is it?”
“No talking during football”
I seat really close to him and try to hug him but he tries to playfully push me away “No chick stuff either.”
“Right, could you please tell me who am I supposed to support?”
“White jersey”
“Who’s that one?”
“What about going out and swim? It’s still nice and warm. It’s injury time. Can you be quiet somewhere else for 5 minutes?”
“No, I want to stay here right by you, close to you, really close to you” and I hug him even tighter but he jumps screaming obscenities to the referee.
“What did the poor man do to deserve your fury?
“Are you blind? That was offside! Don’t look at me like that! … you have no clue what I’m talking about, have you?”
“Nope. Offside does not ring a bell; judging from your reaction must be an infectious disease”
“Women! It’s a simple rule, a player cannot gain an advantage by waiting for the ball near the opposing goal with only the goalkeeper between him and the goal, the goalkeeper being the last defender of course”
“In English?”
He rolls his eyes. “Picture this my sweet shopaholic friend: You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting. In the meantime Dawn is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you.” “She would definitely do it for me”. “That’s not the point, focus - If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and - while it is in flight - you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes. Always remembering that until the purse has - actually been thrown - it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper. There you go honey. Professor Williams has once again spread the football verb among the pagans.”*
“I’ll take your word for that. Who’s that one?” I stand up and go in front of the screen and point at one of the players.
“Get out! You’re not sea-through!”
“WHO is he?”
“The enemy, Tainio”
“He’s cute and has a strong, male name ‘Tainio’ can you imagine what he must be in bed? Hi, ‘I’m Tainio’” I say with a very deep tone.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I like him and I guess I just found myself a football team, go Tottenham!”
“That’s not the way it goes”
“Who says?”
“Everyone. This is not a game. It’s serious stuff! You don’t pick a team because there are cute players in it”“I’m an aesthete” “Still not see-through”
“May I remind you we came here to spend time together. Together as in you and me? How can we do it if you stay there like a mummy wearing a bikini? – Ops! That would be you few hours ago! How come tanning is no good and football is? Why are 22 men running around in boxers so important?” I’m standing in front of the screen, arms spread so he can only see few patches of the green field but no real action.
“Enough” stands up and moves towards me “You’re in for a world of pain!” and stars tickling me I try to get away but he’s too strong. He pushes me on the floor “No messing around with football. I’m gonna give you a lesson you won’t forget”
“Robbie I’m going to piss my pants, stop it now” I manage to crawl few centimeters but he’s over me again.
“Excuse me” and we turn towards the butler who’s at the door “Dinner is served”
“Did you hear? Dinner is served, I call for a truce”“Just because you were losing”
“I’m a world champion, I wan already. Eat my socks!”
NOBODY 17
The following chapter contains adult scenes and is rated 15+ so if you are younger please do not read, or if you don't like this kind of thing you have been warned.
We fly to Cannes and a car takes us to the port. We’re standing in front of a gigantic floating think. Robbie places an arm around my back and looks at me, waiting for my reaction.
I stand there, not quite what I was expecting “Are we taking the ferry somewhere?”
He laughs, “That is not a ferry, it’s the yacht I rented for the week-end”
“Is the entire French population joining us?”
“No, it’s just me and you, but since we have never been alone, in case we fight we can safely manage not to bump into each other till we come back here on Sunday”
“My ray of sunshine! I’ll need a map, or a compass, and someone to help me read a compass”
“That would be my job” he takes my hand and we get on board showing me the way “Welcome to Robbie-land!”
We sail and by the time we are in the open sea I’m already stretched out on a deckchair while Robbie is truly hyper. He runs back and forth around me while I try to ignore him keeping my eyes closed. Since he’s not getting any attention he decides to list all the things we could do “Come on!” sounds like Antigone when she wants me to do something “massages, swimming, we could play cricket, or take tennis lessons, painting? What about ceramics? We could make a vase, pretend to be the characters in Ghost and I would sing you a cheesy love song!”
I don’t even bother opening my eyes; tan is today’s code word.
“You go ahead, I’ll be right there”
“You’re lying”
“I fear so” and I feel a shadow covering my face.
I open one eye and I see him, standing on my deck chair, legs wide open and hands on his hips “May I remind you we came here to spend time together. Together as in you and me? How can we do it if you stay there like a mummy wearing a bikini?”
“But we are together; you are always on my mind”
He starts jumping “Robbie stop it! You’ll break it!”
“Play with me!”“If you leave mommy alone for another half an hour I promise I’ll come and play with you”
“Now!” but I notice his eyes are caught by something he sees in the horizon. His face lights up, he holds out his hand towards mine “Can’t believe it! I’ve always wanted to do it, I just needed the right person. Come with me Kate!”
“Calling a woman by the wrong name can be dangerous if not deadly mister”
He jumps off the deck chair and takes my hand dragging me along “run with me Kate”
“I’m not…” but I cannot finish my sentence because he forces me to run after him. “Robbie stop! The deck is slippery!”
He turns to look at me, “I’m not Robbie, I’m Leo”.
He climbs up to the yacht prow, helping me to do the same. I’m standing right in front of him, he takes my hands in his and starts yelling “I’m the king of the world”
I break off into laughter, “You need help but just don’t let go of me. It’s scary up here. I’m afraid of heights”
“Never letting you go” and plants a quick kiss on my neck helping me to go back to the deck.
“You OK?
“Yes, I’m sorry I spoiled your Titanic moment.”
“I might pardon you” and he runs his fingers through my hair.
“Robbie don’t look at me like that”
“Like what”
“Like you want to eat me”
He takes me in his arms holding me closer. I return his embrace. Our foreheads rest together and I can hear my heart pounding when I feel his warm breath against my lips.
I brush my fingertips against his neck and we kiss. His hands run over my back and waist. Mine grasp his hair and shoulders. I moan as he kisses his way to my ear, nibbling softly on my lobe. It feels so good the only thing I can think of is getting rid of his swimsuit but he stops me."Not here." Robbie picks my up and nuzzles against my neck. "Bedroom or swimming pool?""What's closer?""Bedroom.""That sounds perfect." I answer pulling him closer.
Robbie undresses me and invites me to lie on the bed. “Just trust me. I want you to be completely happy and forget about what is outside this room”. He’s standing up in front of me, leans towards me and starts caressing my body, with a very slow pace until his hands reach my thighs. I see him slowly kneeling down. I prop myself up on my elbows looking at him, watching him pleasure me.He starts kissing my belly, moving into my pubic area. I move my legs, lightly wrapping them around his body, almost pinning him in that position. He looks into my eyes and smiles. He turns his face towards the left, and begins kissing my inner thighs, one after the other. His hands trace circles teasing and playing with them. His tongue is tracing lines, and drawing patterns, and he uses his lips to pull gently and suck my skin. I fall back on to the bed, closing my eyes. My breathing is slow, deep and heavy.Robbie continues his kisses, slowly spiraling towards my vulva, building the anticipation. He finally starts gently kissing it, sucking it softly. He continues to tease me and I am breathing harder now. He begins to trace circles around my clit with his tongue, keeping on teasing me. I lower my left hand but he pins it on my belly preventing me to touch him or myself.He teases me at a painfully slow rate, taking all the time in the world. With my free hand I grab his short hair but he doesn’t mind, as he continues to suck at an even slower pace than before “Robbie … please …I cannot take it anymore…”
He caresses the hand he’s still holding, our fingers intertwine. He knows I want him but he’s determined to deny my pleasure. He loves to be in control and there’s nothing I can do or say to change his mind. He slowly brings his finger into play; it is slow, almost gentle at first. I moan and arch my back. He knows I’m reaching my limit. I won’t be able to tolerate any more teasing soon. So he increases the pace with his finger, slowly sliding one inside me. I let out a long, guttural sigh. My eyes are closed. I can’t talk or think. I slowly moan "Robbie..."He finally decides to reach my g-spot. “Robbie” I repeat like a mantra, he can hear the urgency in my voice but still he takes his time. He continues his tease for several more minutes. Suddenly he wraps his lips around my clit and sucks it while he simultaneously turns his fingers towards my g-spot, and begins rubbing hard and fast. The result is explosive. My body arches and I groan and moan. I’m panting but I raise my head to see him looking at me. “I love you” he says. I slowly pull him up with my trembling body. He takes of his swimsuit and lay over me into a missionary style position. I wrap my legs and arms around him. Without saying a word, I grab his face and I simply give him a long, loving kiss while I rub myself against him. “I need you inside me now” and he enters me, building a rhythm, alternating a few hard thrusts with a few soft strokes. I know he is close, so am I. He’s increasing his pace faster and faster. I arch my back one last time as the waves of my orgasm overtake me while Robbie buries his face between my breasts cumming with me.
We fly to Cannes and a car takes us to the port. We’re standing in front of a gigantic floating think. Robbie places an arm around my back and looks at me, waiting for my reaction.
I stand there, not quite what I was expecting “Are we taking the ferry somewhere?”
He laughs, “That is not a ferry, it’s the yacht I rented for the week-end”
“Is the entire French population joining us?”
“No, it’s just me and you, but since we have never been alone, in case we fight we can safely manage not to bump into each other till we come back here on Sunday”
“My ray of sunshine! I’ll need a map, or a compass, and someone to help me read a compass”
“That would be my job” he takes my hand and we get on board showing me the way “Welcome to Robbie-land!”
We sail and by the time we are in the open sea I’m already stretched out on a deckchair while Robbie is truly hyper. He runs back and forth around me while I try to ignore him keeping my eyes closed. Since he’s not getting any attention he decides to list all the things we could do “Come on!” sounds like Antigone when she wants me to do something “massages, swimming, we could play cricket, or take tennis lessons, painting? What about ceramics? We could make a vase, pretend to be the characters in Ghost and I would sing you a cheesy love song!”
I don’t even bother opening my eyes; tan is today’s code word.
“You go ahead, I’ll be right there”
“You’re lying”
“I fear so” and I feel a shadow covering my face.
I open one eye and I see him, standing on my deck chair, legs wide open and hands on his hips “May I remind you we came here to spend time together. Together as in you and me? How can we do it if you stay there like a mummy wearing a bikini?”
“But we are together; you are always on my mind”
He starts jumping “Robbie stop it! You’ll break it!”
“Play with me!”“If you leave mommy alone for another half an hour I promise I’ll come and play with you”
“Now!” but I notice his eyes are caught by something he sees in the horizon. His face lights up, he holds out his hand towards mine “Can’t believe it! I’ve always wanted to do it, I just needed the right person. Come with me Kate!”
“Calling a woman by the wrong name can be dangerous if not deadly mister”
He jumps off the deck chair and takes my hand dragging me along “run with me Kate”
“I’m not…” but I cannot finish my sentence because he forces me to run after him. “Robbie stop! The deck is slippery!”
He turns to look at me, “I’m not Robbie, I’m Leo”.
He climbs up to the yacht prow, helping me to do the same. I’m standing right in front of him, he takes my hands in his and starts yelling “I’m the king of the world”
I break off into laughter, “You need help but just don’t let go of me. It’s scary up here. I’m afraid of heights”
“Never letting you go” and plants a quick kiss on my neck helping me to go back to the deck.
“You OK?
“Yes, I’m sorry I spoiled your Titanic moment.”
“I might pardon you” and he runs his fingers through my hair.
“Robbie don’t look at me like that”
“Like what”
“Like you want to eat me”
He takes me in his arms holding me closer. I return his embrace. Our foreheads rest together and I can hear my heart pounding when I feel his warm breath against my lips.
I brush my fingertips against his neck and we kiss. His hands run over my back and waist. Mine grasp his hair and shoulders. I moan as he kisses his way to my ear, nibbling softly on my lobe. It feels so good the only thing I can think of is getting rid of his swimsuit but he stops me."Not here." Robbie picks my up and nuzzles against my neck. "Bedroom or swimming pool?""What's closer?""Bedroom.""That sounds perfect." I answer pulling him closer.
Robbie undresses me and invites me to lie on the bed. “Just trust me. I want you to be completely happy and forget about what is outside this room”. He’s standing up in front of me, leans towards me and starts caressing my body, with a very slow pace until his hands reach my thighs. I see him slowly kneeling down. I prop myself up on my elbows looking at him, watching him pleasure me.He starts kissing my belly, moving into my pubic area. I move my legs, lightly wrapping them around his body, almost pinning him in that position. He looks into my eyes and smiles. He turns his face towards the left, and begins kissing my inner thighs, one after the other. His hands trace circles teasing and playing with them. His tongue is tracing lines, and drawing patterns, and he uses his lips to pull gently and suck my skin. I fall back on to the bed, closing my eyes. My breathing is slow, deep and heavy.Robbie continues his kisses, slowly spiraling towards my vulva, building the anticipation. He finally starts gently kissing it, sucking it softly. He continues to tease me and I am breathing harder now. He begins to trace circles around my clit with his tongue, keeping on teasing me. I lower my left hand but he pins it on my belly preventing me to touch him or myself.He teases me at a painfully slow rate, taking all the time in the world. With my free hand I grab his short hair but he doesn’t mind, as he continues to suck at an even slower pace than before “Robbie … please …I cannot take it anymore…”
He caresses the hand he’s still holding, our fingers intertwine. He knows I want him but he’s determined to deny my pleasure. He loves to be in control and there’s nothing I can do or say to change his mind. He slowly brings his finger into play; it is slow, almost gentle at first. I moan and arch my back. He knows I’m reaching my limit. I won’t be able to tolerate any more teasing soon. So he increases the pace with his finger, slowly sliding one inside me. I let out a long, guttural sigh. My eyes are closed. I can’t talk or think. I slowly moan "Robbie..."He finally decides to reach my g-spot. “Robbie” I repeat like a mantra, he can hear the urgency in my voice but still he takes his time. He continues his tease for several more minutes. Suddenly he wraps his lips around my clit and sucks it while he simultaneously turns his fingers towards my g-spot, and begins rubbing hard and fast. The result is explosive. My body arches and I groan and moan. I’m panting but I raise my head to see him looking at me. “I love you” he says. I slowly pull him up with my trembling body. He takes of his swimsuit and lay over me into a missionary style position. I wrap my legs and arms around him. Without saying a word, I grab his face and I simply give him a long, loving kiss while I rub myself against him. “I need you inside me now” and he enters me, building a rhythm, alternating a few hard thrusts with a few soft strokes. I know he is close, so am I. He’s increasing his pace faster and faster. I arch my back one last time as the waves of my orgasm overtake me while Robbie buries his face between my breasts cumming with me.
NOBODY 16
I’m singing “I want Candy” while I’m trying to decide what to bring along, the only things Robbie mentioned were ‘French Riviera’ and ‘ultimate fantasy”. I guess it means a phrasebook and no clothing.
I’m also trying to come up with a decent dance routing to go with Mel C’s song and all of the sudden I can see Howard sitting in the bed pissing himself laughing “OH MY GOD! What are you doing? You just gave the word ‘dance’ a brand new range of meanings. You look like a duck having a seizure”. And he was right. Sad but true.
The bag is by the bed, empty still. I suck at packing. I really do, when I hear the door bell!
I run down the stairs yelling “I’m coming! Whoever you are I hope you’re the packing fairy, I need one!”
I open the door and Jason is standing right there
“Ciao Emz” and bows “I’m offering you this humble package containing my friendship and a new herbal tea I discovered in Spain”
“Good to see you! Come on in and I’ll put the kettle on”
We’re in the kitchen and he’s paying way too much attention at my dying basil plant.
“They need water to survive. Don’t they teach you things in that sunny country of yours?”
“Jason is there something you want to tell me?”
“I want you to go back in time and remember all the sleepless night the two of us spent talking about life, world famine, politics and how overrated lycra is”
“How could I forget? Without you I hadn’t probably even finished university and today I would be poor and bored”
“So, as a friend I think I need to tell you I had dinner at Howard’s last night”
“I see”
“Well, we got drunk on Tuesday night and we solemnly swore tall people should stick together. Mark was so smashed he wanted to be a member of our club he begged a woman in the bar to sell him her high heels shoes. He started trampling around saying ‘I’m tall, I’m a giant’…. The next morning he came down saying he dreamt about running away with the milkman” He rolls his eyes “I decided to have a philosophical approach to all that. It is going to be another interesting chapter in the book I’m writing, ‘I can’t take that any more’.”
“Sounds fun, would you sign a contract right now, I really want to publish it”
“Off topic. He needed someone to talk too… Venturing on thin ice is dangerous”
“Is that the subtitle?”
“I’m talking about you”
“I don’t know what you mean”
“You should give me some credit. You come back from your business trip to LA, next thing I know there’s an almost funny Robert on stage, all of the sudden Mark wears his ‘I feel so guilty I can’t breathe’ face. I took me 10 good minutes to put two and two together. Antigone last night simply confirmed my suspects. The only Robert I know so mental to take a 5 years old to Pinewood to choose a princess dress would be Mr. Robbie-low-profile-Williams.”
I cover my eyes with my hands
“We were watching the news last night, there was a segment on Brit pop. I managed to switch it off before Antigone saw him on TV. Can you picture the scene now? She would have said ‘Daddy, that is the funny Robert mammy entrusted my safety with!”
“Jay I need time”
“Honestly?” and counts using his fingers “I already know, Mark knows, and Dawn knows by default. If you haven’t told Tricia or Emily there are basically only 4 people in our circle of close friends who are in the dark. And one of them is your husband. FYI he is not signing the papers. I guess time is a luxury you cannot afford”
“You need to help me. I just need few more days. I want to understand what is going on. When I come back from Italy I’ll talk to Howard, no matter what I decide to do he has the right to know.”
“You should not worry about me. I won’t tell him. Mark on the other side is about to explode. You know him. He sucks at mind games and I fear he has way too many information to deal with . And YUK to you young lady. If we believed in reincarnation, you could only hope to come back on this earth as a fridge magnet”
“He’s changed”
“Of course he is. Why wouldn’t he?”
“He really cares about Antigone and me”
“He has the attention span of a squirrel. He’ll get bored soon”
“Maybe you’re wrong”
“Maybe am not. I’ll drink the tea another time.” and he walks towards the door “You need pack. And I have a message for Robbie, tell him to write his will. Legal battles among presumptive heirs are so ‘90s.”
I’m also trying to come up with a decent dance routing to go with Mel C’s song and all of the sudden I can see Howard sitting in the bed pissing himself laughing “OH MY GOD! What are you doing? You just gave the word ‘dance’ a brand new range of meanings. You look like a duck having a seizure”. And he was right. Sad but true.
The bag is by the bed, empty still. I suck at packing. I really do, when I hear the door bell!
I run down the stairs yelling “I’m coming! Whoever you are I hope you’re the packing fairy, I need one!”
I open the door and Jason is standing right there
“Ciao Emz” and bows “I’m offering you this humble package containing my friendship and a new herbal tea I discovered in Spain”
“Good to see you! Come on in and I’ll put the kettle on”
We’re in the kitchen and he’s paying way too much attention at my dying basil plant.
“They need water to survive. Don’t they teach you things in that sunny country of yours?”
“Jason is there something you want to tell me?”
“I want you to go back in time and remember all the sleepless night the two of us spent talking about life, world famine, politics and how overrated lycra is”
“How could I forget? Without you I hadn’t probably even finished university and today I would be poor and bored”
“So, as a friend I think I need to tell you I had dinner at Howard’s last night”
“I see”
“Well, we got drunk on Tuesday night and we solemnly swore tall people should stick together. Mark was so smashed he wanted to be a member of our club he begged a woman in the bar to sell him her high heels shoes. He started trampling around saying ‘I’m tall, I’m a giant’…. The next morning he came down saying he dreamt about running away with the milkman” He rolls his eyes “I decided to have a philosophical approach to all that. It is going to be another interesting chapter in the book I’m writing, ‘I can’t take that any more’.”
“Sounds fun, would you sign a contract right now, I really want to publish it”
“Off topic. He needed someone to talk too… Venturing on thin ice is dangerous”
“Is that the subtitle?”
“I’m talking about you”
“I don’t know what you mean”
“You should give me some credit. You come back from your business trip to LA, next thing I know there’s an almost funny Robert on stage, all of the sudden Mark wears his ‘I feel so guilty I can’t breathe’ face. I took me 10 good minutes to put two and two together. Antigone last night simply confirmed my suspects. The only Robert I know so mental to take a 5 years old to Pinewood to choose a princess dress would be Mr. Robbie-low-profile-Williams.”
I cover my eyes with my hands
“We were watching the news last night, there was a segment on Brit pop. I managed to switch it off before Antigone saw him on TV. Can you picture the scene now? She would have said ‘Daddy, that is the funny Robert mammy entrusted my safety with!”
“Jay I need time”
“Honestly?” and counts using his fingers “I already know, Mark knows, and Dawn knows by default. If you haven’t told Tricia or Emily there are basically only 4 people in our circle of close friends who are in the dark. And one of them is your husband. FYI he is not signing the papers. I guess time is a luxury you cannot afford”
“You need to help me. I just need few more days. I want to understand what is going on. When I come back from Italy I’ll talk to Howard, no matter what I decide to do he has the right to know.”
“You should not worry about me. I won’t tell him. Mark on the other side is about to explode. You know him. He sucks at mind games and I fear he has way too many information to deal with . And YUK to you young lady. If we believed in reincarnation, you could only hope to come back on this earth as a fridge magnet”
“He’s changed”
“Of course he is. Why wouldn’t he?”
“He really cares about Antigone and me”
“He has the attention span of a squirrel. He’ll get bored soon”
“Maybe you’re wrong”
“Maybe am not. I’ll drink the tea another time.” and he walks towards the door “You need pack. And I have a message for Robbie, tell him to write his will. Legal battles among presumptive heirs are so ‘90s.”
NOBODY 15
Howard is already waiting outside the airport, smoking. I park the car right in front of him. “I’m so sorry for being late, but the traffic was crazy. Have you been waiting for long?”
“Not at all, Gary and Dawn just left. They left this for you” and he hugs me.
I stand there while his arms wrap around me. “Let me look at you, all tanned and relaxed. Did you have fun?”He puts his bag in the trunk, notices Antigone in the back seat, and closes it gently.
“How long has she be sleeping?”
“20 minutes more or less”
“She looks like and angel, do you want me to drive back?”
“No, tell me about the vacation”
“The hotel was fantastic; we basically ate, drank and stretched out under the sun. Gary and Mark introduced Jason to the joys of ‘babewatching’. They got carried away, drawing charts and giving little stars away every time a woman would walk by. Even though Gary would end every ‘session’ saying ‘my Dawn is fairest of them all’. It was good; I guess we needed some quality bonding. We probably drank too much sangria too. What have you been doing?”
“Working, and experiencing a nanny’s failure. I’ve selected 3 possible candidates to replace her but I would like you to talk to them too. Just call the agency whenever you have time. We need one by Monday. I’ve gone crazy trying to manage her and my work.”
“You should have called me and I would have come back, or ask my mother to come down”
“Your mother? No thanks. I had a little help”
He’s looking outside the window, he knows me too well not to suspect, and I know he doesn’t want to hear what I am about to tell him.
“Robert, he was in London *Please forgive me, but I have to lie to you* and he offered to baby sit”
His voice is just a hiss; he’s not looking at me still “You had a stranger take care of my daughter? Are you out of your mind?”
“He’s not a stranger and I didn’t know what else to do”
Silence
“Howard say something”
Still silent.
And Antigone wakes up “Daddy you’re here!” she struggle with her sit belt so she can get closer and hug him. He turns to her and blows kisses making funny faces. “I have a present for you Nene” and hands her a handmade doll.
“It’s so beautiful, thank you dad! She has long blond hair, just like mine. Does she have a name already?”
“No she doesn’t, it’s up to you to choose one”
“So I have two now! I’m also trying to find a name for my new pony”
“A pony?” and he’s talking to me now
“No you don’t Antigone, I told you the pony is going back where it comes from”
“But Robert said…”“Robert?” he asks
“I’m sorry he thought it would be fun for her to have a pet…”
Antigone understands there’s something wrong, she falls silent, and goes back sitting properly holding onto her doll.
“Who does he think he is to buy presents for MY daughter? And why are you letting him doing it?”
“We can talk about later; I don’t want you to make a scene in front of her”
“Her is my daughter too. Later is not good enough. Just take me home. She’s staying with me tonight. Consider it an extension on my week-end”“But…”
He’s gone back staring out of the window, conversation is over. We don’t say a word for the rest of the drive, I pull over in front of his house and he jumps off the car without looking at me. Picks up his bag, opens the back door and takes Antigone in his arm. He has a sad look on his face. She’s holding onto his neck like a shipwreck survivor to a piece of wood he found in the sea.
“Daddy I love you, I don’t want the pony, I hate the pony”
“It’s not your fault, I love you too.” And he kisses her, “Let’s go inside and you can tell me about your new drama teacher”
And I stand there, by the car, watching them disappearing behind the door. None of them bothers to say goodbye.
I get home and Robbie is sitting in front of my doorsteps. “What are you doing here? I told you I was having dinner with Howard”
He bends on his knees and hands me a tulip. “I found it on the street and I thought he needed a house. Truth is I managed to defeat the evil forces threatening the planet before dinner and I was sort of hoping on a major argument with ‘he who must not be named’ so you’d come back to me”
“Stand up, you’re not funny”
“Yes I am, and I’m handsome too, my mom tells it to me everyday!”
I smile, “That flower needs to be put in a vase, would you mind bringing it inside?”
The next day I’m in my office when the door opens and Dawn walks in “Back to civilization! 3 more days in the countryside with my parents and I would just shoot myself. I bought a one-day travel card and went back and forth on the Piccadilly line just to be with people.”
“From all the bags you’re carrying may I assume you were able to squeeze is some quality shopping too?”
“Shop till you drop is my motto! And I saw those red shoes and …”
I put my index fingers in front of me, shaping a cross “Vade retro, go away evil woman, I don’t wanna see them. You came here to tempt me, you know I’m weak but I have no time for shoe shopping today. I’m leaving the office before so I can pack and go away for the week-end”
“Where are you going, and most important, who are you going with?” and smirks.
“Can’t talk about it, the official version is I’m going back home because a friend from university is getting married”
“Can I get the dirty version?”
“I mentioned Robbie’s name when I went to pick Howard up and he is still not talking to me. I’m a filthy liar and I am probably going to rot in hell”
“I understand your moral dilemma… What about the sex?”
“Dawn I do NOT talk about these things”
“Whatever, let me use a metaphor, so we can talk about it without really talking about it”
I look at her
“Did you shag him?”
“Is that a metaphor to you?” and I lower my eyes “Maybe”
“Oh my god! Tell me all about it!”
“I hope you’re seeing someone else in here because I’m not giving away any graphic detail”
“I’m you best friend and I am entitled to at least a question”
I sigh and place my hand on the desk “Shoot”
“Is it true what they say? Is he really the most talented member of the band?”
“Not at all, Gary and Dawn just left. They left this for you” and he hugs me.
I stand there while his arms wrap around me. “Let me look at you, all tanned and relaxed. Did you have fun?”He puts his bag in the trunk, notices Antigone in the back seat, and closes it gently.
“How long has she be sleeping?”
“20 minutes more or less”
“She looks like and angel, do you want me to drive back?”
“No, tell me about the vacation”
“The hotel was fantastic; we basically ate, drank and stretched out under the sun. Gary and Mark introduced Jason to the joys of ‘babewatching’. They got carried away, drawing charts and giving little stars away every time a woman would walk by. Even though Gary would end every ‘session’ saying ‘my Dawn is fairest of them all’. It was good; I guess we needed some quality bonding. We probably drank too much sangria too. What have you been doing?”
“Working, and experiencing a nanny’s failure. I’ve selected 3 possible candidates to replace her but I would like you to talk to them too. Just call the agency whenever you have time. We need one by Monday. I’ve gone crazy trying to manage her and my work.”
“You should have called me and I would have come back, or ask my mother to come down”
“Your mother? No thanks. I had a little help”
He’s looking outside the window, he knows me too well not to suspect, and I know he doesn’t want to hear what I am about to tell him.
“Robert, he was in London *Please forgive me, but I have to lie to you* and he offered to baby sit”
His voice is just a hiss; he’s not looking at me still “You had a stranger take care of my daughter? Are you out of your mind?”
“He’s not a stranger and I didn’t know what else to do”
Silence
“Howard say something”
Still silent.
And Antigone wakes up “Daddy you’re here!” she struggle with her sit belt so she can get closer and hug him. He turns to her and blows kisses making funny faces. “I have a present for you Nene” and hands her a handmade doll.
“It’s so beautiful, thank you dad! She has long blond hair, just like mine. Does she have a name already?”
“No she doesn’t, it’s up to you to choose one”
“So I have two now! I’m also trying to find a name for my new pony”
“A pony?” and he’s talking to me now
“No you don’t Antigone, I told you the pony is going back where it comes from”
“But Robert said…”“Robert?” he asks
“I’m sorry he thought it would be fun for her to have a pet…”
Antigone understands there’s something wrong, she falls silent, and goes back sitting properly holding onto her doll.
“Who does he think he is to buy presents for MY daughter? And why are you letting him doing it?”
“We can talk about later; I don’t want you to make a scene in front of her”
“Her is my daughter too. Later is not good enough. Just take me home. She’s staying with me tonight. Consider it an extension on my week-end”“But…”
He’s gone back staring out of the window, conversation is over. We don’t say a word for the rest of the drive, I pull over in front of his house and he jumps off the car without looking at me. Picks up his bag, opens the back door and takes Antigone in his arm. He has a sad look on his face. She’s holding onto his neck like a shipwreck survivor to a piece of wood he found in the sea.
“Daddy I love you, I don’t want the pony, I hate the pony”
“It’s not your fault, I love you too.” And he kisses her, “Let’s go inside and you can tell me about your new drama teacher”
And I stand there, by the car, watching them disappearing behind the door. None of them bothers to say goodbye.
I get home and Robbie is sitting in front of my doorsteps. “What are you doing here? I told you I was having dinner with Howard”
He bends on his knees and hands me a tulip. “I found it on the street and I thought he needed a house. Truth is I managed to defeat the evil forces threatening the planet before dinner and I was sort of hoping on a major argument with ‘he who must not be named’ so you’d come back to me”
“Stand up, you’re not funny”
“Yes I am, and I’m handsome too, my mom tells it to me everyday!”
I smile, “That flower needs to be put in a vase, would you mind bringing it inside?”
The next day I’m in my office when the door opens and Dawn walks in “Back to civilization! 3 more days in the countryside with my parents and I would just shoot myself. I bought a one-day travel card and went back and forth on the Piccadilly line just to be with people.”
“From all the bags you’re carrying may I assume you were able to squeeze is some quality shopping too?”
“Shop till you drop is my motto! And I saw those red shoes and …”
I put my index fingers in front of me, shaping a cross “Vade retro, go away evil woman, I don’t wanna see them. You came here to tempt me, you know I’m weak but I have no time for shoe shopping today. I’m leaving the office before so I can pack and go away for the week-end”
“Where are you going, and most important, who are you going with?” and smirks.
“Can’t talk about it, the official version is I’m going back home because a friend from university is getting married”
“Can I get the dirty version?”
“I mentioned Robbie’s name when I went to pick Howard up and he is still not talking to me. I’m a filthy liar and I am probably going to rot in hell”
“I understand your moral dilemma… What about the sex?”
“Dawn I do NOT talk about these things”
“Whatever, let me use a metaphor, so we can talk about it without really talking about it”
I look at her
“Did you shag him?”
“Is that a metaphor to you?” and I lower my eyes “Maybe”
“Oh my god! Tell me all about it!”
“I hope you’re seeing someone else in here because I’m not giving away any graphic detail”
“I’m you best friend and I am entitled to at least a question”
I sigh and place my hand on the desk “Shoot”
“Is it true what they say? Is he really the most talented member of the band?”
NOBODY 14
“Could we have a normal dinner, like regular people do everyday?” *why am I talking? They’re not listening to a word I say*.
“This is serious stuff. I cannot risk that a year from now she’ll sell the tabloids the story on the night she beat Robbi” I kick his shin under the table “OUCH, that hurts” and start jumping all over the kitchen “why did you do that? Why? I have a tour to plan! People depend on me!”
I’m perfectly calm “were you saying Robert Fitzgerald from the NY office?”
He sits down; he keeps rubbing his leg. He’s in pain but plays the tough-guy role “right, she might say she beat Robert from the NY office in a scoop-and-shovel pea tournament”
“Let her eat her veggies, I beg of you”
He turns his attention to Antigone, who’s sitting arms crossed, “Let me see how many do you have in your fork, no cheating young lady … ahahhahahahhaha only 9, 9 small green miserable peas! I had 13, I win! YES!”
“She’s 5, give her a break”
“No one gave me a break when I was her age, life is though! She lost” looks at her with a smirk in his face and makes an ‘L’ using his thumb and index finger “loser!”
The scene is surreal, “mum could you please excuse me?”
“Of course honey”
She stands up; gets closer to Robbie and whispers in his ear making sure I cannot hear her “I know you like my mom, but she likes me better and if I don’t like you she won’t like you, who’s the loser now?”
And goes back to her chair.
“What did she say?”
He swallows “she is not 5, I don’t care what you say, she cannot be 5.” And turns to her, “Let me see it again. It is true you only have 9 peas on your fork, but to be fair they are big peas, so I guess you win”
“That’s what I thought. I wan mommy! I wan!”
I finally put her in bed. “Sorry it took me so long but she was over-excited, wonder why”
Robbie is placing some leftovers in the fridge. “I had a great time”
“She had too. Thanks. So you stayed with her for 3 hours but I gave you dinner, so I guess 25 pounds is a fare wage” and I take a bill from my purse.
“25? We drove all the way the Pinewood; the hairdresser alone was a 100 right there”
“Are you trying to say I owe you money?”
“Yes but you can pay me with love money”
“Besides you, who else lives in that imaginary world of yours?”
“I’m all alone, but I hope you’ll move in soon”, takes my hands and pulls me towards him “I’ve missed you very much and it doesn’t happen often, let me tell you’
And kisses me. I stroke his hair and he keeps on kissing me “I need to breathe Robbie”
“Can’t stop” and he slowly continues to kiss downward, maintaining his slow speed. He lingers around my neck, making sure he doesn’t miss a spot.
It feels so good. When I’m with him it’s like going back in time, to the early ‘90s, when we were younger, and full of hopes and I was very much in love. None of our demons were hunting us then and I don’t care if it’s wrong, I’m just seizing the moment. I move my hand down his jeans and reach his crotch caressing it “happy to see me?”
“Don’t tease, I warn you”
“Hu, hu, I’m so scared” and move my hand up and down, slowly“Enough” he grunts and has me seated on the kitchen table, looks at me in the eyes “Lesson number one, in Robbie-land lingerie is a waste of time and money”.
Robbie is talking on the phone, “Hi mate! How’s Spain?”
“Hi Robbie, it’s fantastic … how do you know I’m in Spain? … Oh shit … Did you see her?”
“You can call it that” and laughs
“I don’t wanna know”
“You’re my friend, you have to know, I’m dying to tell you all about it”
“I’m everybody’s friend, that is the problem. Leave me out of it”
“What if we were meant to be together and we didn’t see it the first time around? I don’t think I ever been this happy”
“Are you serious? Robbie you need to slow down. You are reaching new levels of denial and it can be dangerous you know. We have been there before. You are not good at managing crisis; you’ve been out of rehab for like 5 minutes. You need to stop it right there. I’m telling you for your own good”
“I don’t wanna hear. You should support me. And besides I have to go, I need to pick Antigone up. I’m babysitting now. Monday it was Shakespeare, and Pinewood, yesterday I had Hamley’s closing down to the public so we could do some decent shopping. I still have to come up with a good idea today. Do you think she would like horseback riding? I hope so ‘cause I bought her a pony”
“Emilia is letting you taking care of Umpa Lumpa?”
“We’re experiencing a nanny emergency”“WE? Robbie there is no ‘we’. There’s already a ‘we’ and it’s Emilia and Howard. You do not fit in the picture; the sooner you understand it the better it is. There are so many things you don’t know”
“I know about James”
“She said his name?”
“Yes. And I’m still here. I’m telling you this is different. If I play my cards right I could convince her to move to LA. We could live happily ever after, the three of us”
“They are not your family and Antigone has a father already. Don’t mess up with her, she’s only 5”
“I’m not messing up with her. I think I felt in love with both of them, I want them, but for a change it has nothing to do with kinky sex”
“Robbie I have to go now, we’ll talk about it when I get back, just be careful, promise me”
“Yes daddy”
Howard sits by Mark on the sand. “What’s up? You look worried. Bad news from home?”“Yes Doug. There’s something going on and I don’t know what to do”
“Can I help you?”
“If you’d know there is something going on behind a friend’s back. Something that could potentially destroy him, would you tell him?”
Howard thinks about it, “absolutely. That’s what friends are for. He has the right to know and you should be there for him to pick up the pieces”
Mark looks at him, he’s becoming increasingly nervous. Howard adds “Unless it is about me. I don’t want to know. I’m living in my denial universe and it is cozy” and laughs, “Let’s go throw Gaz into the water!” and literally drags Mark along.
Traffic is crazy, I’m about to yell at the lady torpedoing in front of me in a ridiculous purple car when my mobile rings.
“Are you on your way?”
“Robbie I told you, I cannot see you today. I’m picking up Antigone at school and then Howard at the airport”
“Have you heard about the magic of public transportation? The tube takes you right into town from Heathrow. I could even buy him the ticket”
“You are not telling me what to do, are you?”
“I don’t want you to see ‘He who must not be named’. Send a car, stay with me”
“I’m going because we always pick each other up at the airport. It’s a family tradition”
“I thought you were getting a divorce”
“I am but I want to do this and I am about to hang up because you’re upsetting me. We’ve seen each other for a few days and you already feel entitled to tell me what to do. That is a no way road Robbie, I’m warning you.”
“I thought it was a little more than ‘seeing’ and I think I should be able to speak my mind, I cannot do it with many people you know? … Spend the week-end with me. You and me, alone for 3 days”
I think about it
“So?”“I guess I could do it. Antigone is spending it with her father. But no one has to know, you haven’t talked to Mark have you?”
“Of course not. We’re England’s best kept secret”
“I’ll call you tomorrow”
“What about tonight?”
“I’ll probably have dinner with Howard”
“‘He who must not be named’” he corrects me.
“You are being unfair and I’m tired of your constant moaning about him”
“Honestly, I don’t give a shit. And let me tell you. It would help if you could just stop talking about him for 5 bloody minutes.” And hangs up.
*Our first fight, and on the phone, the day can only get better*
“This is serious stuff. I cannot risk that a year from now she’ll sell the tabloids the story on the night she beat Robbi” I kick his shin under the table “OUCH, that hurts” and start jumping all over the kitchen “why did you do that? Why? I have a tour to plan! People depend on me!”
I’m perfectly calm “were you saying Robert Fitzgerald from the NY office?”
He sits down; he keeps rubbing his leg. He’s in pain but plays the tough-guy role “right, she might say she beat Robert from the NY office in a scoop-and-shovel pea tournament”
“Let her eat her veggies, I beg of you”
He turns his attention to Antigone, who’s sitting arms crossed, “Let me see how many do you have in your fork, no cheating young lady … ahahhahahahhaha only 9, 9 small green miserable peas! I had 13, I win! YES!”
“She’s 5, give her a break”
“No one gave me a break when I was her age, life is though! She lost” looks at her with a smirk in his face and makes an ‘L’ using his thumb and index finger “loser!”
The scene is surreal, “mum could you please excuse me?”
“Of course honey”
She stands up; gets closer to Robbie and whispers in his ear making sure I cannot hear her “I know you like my mom, but she likes me better and if I don’t like you she won’t like you, who’s the loser now?”
And goes back to her chair.
“What did she say?”
He swallows “she is not 5, I don’t care what you say, she cannot be 5.” And turns to her, “Let me see it again. It is true you only have 9 peas on your fork, but to be fair they are big peas, so I guess you win”
“That’s what I thought. I wan mommy! I wan!”
I finally put her in bed. “Sorry it took me so long but she was over-excited, wonder why”
Robbie is placing some leftovers in the fridge. “I had a great time”
“She had too. Thanks. So you stayed with her for 3 hours but I gave you dinner, so I guess 25 pounds is a fare wage” and I take a bill from my purse.
“25? We drove all the way the Pinewood; the hairdresser alone was a 100 right there”
“Are you trying to say I owe you money?”
“Yes but you can pay me with love money”
“Besides you, who else lives in that imaginary world of yours?”
“I’m all alone, but I hope you’ll move in soon”, takes my hands and pulls me towards him “I’ve missed you very much and it doesn’t happen often, let me tell you’
And kisses me. I stroke his hair and he keeps on kissing me “I need to breathe Robbie”
“Can’t stop” and he slowly continues to kiss downward, maintaining his slow speed. He lingers around my neck, making sure he doesn’t miss a spot.
It feels so good. When I’m with him it’s like going back in time, to the early ‘90s, when we were younger, and full of hopes and I was very much in love. None of our demons were hunting us then and I don’t care if it’s wrong, I’m just seizing the moment. I move my hand down his jeans and reach his crotch caressing it “happy to see me?”
“Don’t tease, I warn you”
“Hu, hu, I’m so scared” and move my hand up and down, slowly“Enough” he grunts and has me seated on the kitchen table, looks at me in the eyes “Lesson number one, in Robbie-land lingerie is a waste of time and money”.
Robbie is talking on the phone, “Hi mate! How’s Spain?”
“Hi Robbie, it’s fantastic … how do you know I’m in Spain? … Oh shit … Did you see her?”
“You can call it that” and laughs
“I don’t wanna know”
“You’re my friend, you have to know, I’m dying to tell you all about it”
“I’m everybody’s friend, that is the problem. Leave me out of it”
“What if we were meant to be together and we didn’t see it the first time around? I don’t think I ever been this happy”
“Are you serious? Robbie you need to slow down. You are reaching new levels of denial and it can be dangerous you know. We have been there before. You are not good at managing crisis; you’ve been out of rehab for like 5 minutes. You need to stop it right there. I’m telling you for your own good”
“I don’t wanna hear. You should support me. And besides I have to go, I need to pick Antigone up. I’m babysitting now. Monday it was Shakespeare, and Pinewood, yesterday I had Hamley’s closing down to the public so we could do some decent shopping. I still have to come up with a good idea today. Do you think she would like horseback riding? I hope so ‘cause I bought her a pony”
“Emilia is letting you taking care of Umpa Lumpa?”
“We’re experiencing a nanny emergency”“WE? Robbie there is no ‘we’. There’s already a ‘we’ and it’s Emilia and Howard. You do not fit in the picture; the sooner you understand it the better it is. There are so many things you don’t know”
“I know about James”
“She said his name?”
“Yes. And I’m still here. I’m telling you this is different. If I play my cards right I could convince her to move to LA. We could live happily ever after, the three of us”
“They are not your family and Antigone has a father already. Don’t mess up with her, she’s only 5”
“I’m not messing up with her. I think I felt in love with both of them, I want them, but for a change it has nothing to do with kinky sex”
“Robbie I have to go now, we’ll talk about it when I get back, just be careful, promise me”
“Yes daddy”
Howard sits by Mark on the sand. “What’s up? You look worried. Bad news from home?”“Yes Doug. There’s something going on and I don’t know what to do”
“Can I help you?”
“If you’d know there is something going on behind a friend’s back. Something that could potentially destroy him, would you tell him?”
Howard thinks about it, “absolutely. That’s what friends are for. He has the right to know and you should be there for him to pick up the pieces”
Mark looks at him, he’s becoming increasingly nervous. Howard adds “Unless it is about me. I don’t want to know. I’m living in my denial universe and it is cozy” and laughs, “Let’s go throw Gaz into the water!” and literally drags Mark along.
Traffic is crazy, I’m about to yell at the lady torpedoing in front of me in a ridiculous purple car when my mobile rings.
“Are you on your way?”
“Robbie I told you, I cannot see you today. I’m picking up Antigone at school and then Howard at the airport”
“Have you heard about the magic of public transportation? The tube takes you right into town from Heathrow. I could even buy him the ticket”
“You are not telling me what to do, are you?”
“I don’t want you to see ‘He who must not be named’. Send a car, stay with me”
“I’m going because we always pick each other up at the airport. It’s a family tradition”
“I thought you were getting a divorce”
“I am but I want to do this and I am about to hang up because you’re upsetting me. We’ve seen each other for a few days and you already feel entitled to tell me what to do. That is a no way road Robbie, I’m warning you.”
“I thought it was a little more than ‘seeing’ and I think I should be able to speak my mind, I cannot do it with many people you know? … Spend the week-end with me. You and me, alone for 3 days”
I think about it
“So?”“I guess I could do it. Antigone is spending it with her father. But no one has to know, you haven’t talked to Mark have you?”
“Of course not. We’re England’s best kept secret”
“I’ll call you tomorrow”
“What about tonight?”
“I’ll probably have dinner with Howard”
“‘He who must not be named’” he corrects me.
“You are being unfair and I’m tired of your constant moaning about him”
“Honestly, I don’t give a shit. And let me tell you. It would help if you could just stop talking about him for 5 bloody minutes.” And hangs up.
*Our first fight, and on the phone, the day can only get better*
NOBODY 13
The office is going crazy, we have so many deadlines, and promotions and meetings I feel like I want to quit my job and find myself a rich husband. Which I had and I’m about to divorce. Still. In between two crazy morning meetings I decided my ultimate goal is to become a ‘lunch lady’.
The landline and my mobile are ringing off the hook. My assistant enters into my office and says “don’t shoot the messenger, your nanny called. Her sister had her baby three weeks before she was due and she has to go down to Brighton to assist her. She’s taking a train as we speak and she won’t be able to pick Antigone at school this afternoon”.
I look at her in disbelief, “I give you a raise if you tell me you’re kidding”
“I’d love the raise but it’s the sad truth”
“Shit!”
“You never say the ‘s’ word, my survival instinct tells me it is time to go back to my desk and mind my own businesses”
*Focus, if she can’t go, and I can’t go, video conference with the big bosses from NY, Howard is in Spain – note to self, next year is getting a tie – Dawn is visiting her parents* and my stream of consciousness is interrupted by my mobile.
“What!”
“Hello … luv … bad timing?”
“Robbie I am not in the mood. I’m dealing with a crisis, better, I’m moaning, moaning, moaning”
“Can I help?”
“No”
“As I said yesterday, words can hurt”
“I need to find someone to pick Antigone at her school. But I went through a mental list of suitable people to find out I am alone in this gloomy world”
“I can do it”
“Yes, right”
“Even though, as someone said” and he’s mocking my voice now “we need to take things slowly. I don’t think involving Antigone would be a smart move”
I find myself taking Robbie’s idea into consideration, “Yesterday was yesterday, it’s gone, forever. Today I might need some help. But are you sure? I won’t be home before 7 at the earliest. Have you ever spent 3 hours with a 5 years old?”
“I am 5 years old”
“If you are trying to reassure me, it’s not working. Do you have a piece of paper and a pen? I’m gonna give you the address and few instructions you are bound to follow.”
… “Got the address, what next?”
“Are you writing?”
“Yes”
“Antigone is allergic to soy and strawberries. And also, she's not allowed to watch commercial TV especially MTV. And no matter what she says, she has to hold your hand when you cross the street. She cannot have ice-cream before dinner. She should drink her orange juice but if she begs she can have a soda, but with no ice. And make sure she is wearing her cotton scarf; she had a bit of a cold last night. No rap music and no smoking in the house, or outside it. You cannot let her out of your sight for more than 30 seconds at the time. If she begs you to go to the playground, you have to check the sandbox first, because you never know what people throw in there. If there is nice old lady with disturbing almost blue hair sitting by the oak tree with her nephew, you’ll recognize him, looks like Edgard Hoover, run for your life. That kid is the devil and I don’t want Antigone to hang out with him”“Shit … so you were serious when you said I had to write… hold on a second.” I can picture him trying to remember all I said, I forgot if he sticks his tongue out when he’s trying to concentrate …
“One last thing, who’s Edgard Hoover?”
“I could scream right now, but I don’t have time and I’m gonna simply call her school and let them know you are picking her up.”
“Shouldn’t we use a fake name?”
“It is the school Prince William and Prince Henry went too. They won’t be impressed by Mr. Rudebox, believe me”
“I’m not listening”
“Be there at 4. Sharp. Antigone doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
“No prob. See you later”
“What time do you need to be there?”
“At 5, to pick a 4 years old. Or is the other way round?”
“You are not funny”
Robbie is waiting outside her school. He sees her and waves, Antigone walks to him and smile. “Robert, so nice to see you again! Where’s my mum?”
“She’s working, so she asked me to come and pick you up, I hope it’s ok.” Takes a moment to look at her “What are you wearing?”
“A pink long skirt over my pants. Can’t you see? We had acting class today and Mrs. Jones made us choose a character and we are supposed to be that character until tomorrow.”
“And who are you, the Fairy from Fashion Nightmare?”
She turns around moving her long blond hair “I am Ophelia. I am desperately in love and I’ll kill myself”
“I guess Fiona from Shrek was not available. Ophelia, do you mind me asking, how old are you?”
“I’m 5” and she opens her hand, “I finished an entire set of fingers, look”. Robbie smiles and opens the car door for her. She looks at him and he looks at her “can’t you get in? Do you need help?”
“I’m 5 and I can only sit in the back”
“Right, let’s not tell your mother I tried to kill you”
“I’ll be dead by tomorrow, don’t worry, your secret is safe with me”
I rush home; hoping they both survived the experience. The moment I open the door I’m overcome by Bono’s voice blasting from the speakers singing “Elevation”.
Robbie is standing at the bottom of the stairs, wearing a black, 1600s man suit with a large white collar and he’s holding a skull. *God, please, let it be a fake one*. He’s moving around like a robot trying to climb the first step. Antigone is yelling at him from upstairs, I guess it could be in Italian but I’m not quite sure. She’s wearing a beautiful princess dress, has flowers in her hair and she’s throwing all her stuffed animal at him.
Robbie starts yelling too “To eat or not to eat, that is the question”.
I try to catch their attention but I feel like I’m invisible so I walk to the stereo and press STOP.
They both turn towards it and they see me “Mummy! You’re back” Robbie says, “Ciao mamma, cannot come down, too risky” add my daughter.
“What are you doing?”
“Don’t give me the death look, I have your list right here” and takes it out from his pocket
“You waterproof it?”
“Of course not! I had my assistant doing it for me. You are a scary person, anyway, there is nothing about re-writing Shakespeare in here and that’s what we are doing”
“Yes mummy!” she yells from upstairs “I’m Ophelia but Hamlet is a zombie, he ate Polonius and Gertrud already. I’m the only living being in Elsinore and I cannot let him bite me”
“Do you know how much that school cost? Do you have any idea of the phone calls I will be getting tomorrow morning? They took them to the Barbican to see the play” I’m trying to stay serious but it’s really hard
“I believe in being creative” he smiles
“And the costumes?”
“From Pinewood studios, my assistant again, they opened their warehouse only for us. It took her almost an hour to pick one. She’s her father’s daughter! And we also had a hairdresser to do her hair”
“If you wanted to impress her, the only thing you had to do was to buy her an ice-cream.” And I laugh “Should I simply ignore the two of you and get some dinner ready?”
He bows, “That would be lovely, but I EAT HUMAN MEAT” and runs up the stairs where Antigone is waiting for him.
The landline and my mobile are ringing off the hook. My assistant enters into my office and says “don’t shoot the messenger, your nanny called. Her sister had her baby three weeks before she was due and she has to go down to Brighton to assist her. She’s taking a train as we speak and she won’t be able to pick Antigone at school this afternoon”.
I look at her in disbelief, “I give you a raise if you tell me you’re kidding”
“I’d love the raise but it’s the sad truth”
“Shit!”
“You never say the ‘s’ word, my survival instinct tells me it is time to go back to my desk and mind my own businesses”
*Focus, if she can’t go, and I can’t go, video conference with the big bosses from NY, Howard is in Spain – note to self, next year is getting a tie – Dawn is visiting her parents* and my stream of consciousness is interrupted by my mobile.
“What!”
“Hello … luv … bad timing?”
“Robbie I am not in the mood. I’m dealing with a crisis, better, I’m moaning, moaning, moaning”
“Can I help?”
“No”
“As I said yesterday, words can hurt”
“I need to find someone to pick Antigone at her school. But I went through a mental list of suitable people to find out I am alone in this gloomy world”
“I can do it”
“Yes, right”
“Even though, as someone said” and he’s mocking my voice now “we need to take things slowly. I don’t think involving Antigone would be a smart move”
I find myself taking Robbie’s idea into consideration, “Yesterday was yesterday, it’s gone, forever. Today I might need some help. But are you sure? I won’t be home before 7 at the earliest. Have you ever spent 3 hours with a 5 years old?”
“I am 5 years old”
“If you are trying to reassure me, it’s not working. Do you have a piece of paper and a pen? I’m gonna give you the address and few instructions you are bound to follow.”
… “Got the address, what next?”
“Are you writing?”
“Yes”
“Antigone is allergic to soy and strawberries. And also, she's not allowed to watch commercial TV especially MTV. And no matter what she says, she has to hold your hand when you cross the street. She cannot have ice-cream before dinner. She should drink her orange juice but if she begs she can have a soda, but with no ice. And make sure she is wearing her cotton scarf; she had a bit of a cold last night. No rap music and no smoking in the house, or outside it. You cannot let her out of your sight for more than 30 seconds at the time. If she begs you to go to the playground, you have to check the sandbox first, because you never know what people throw in there. If there is nice old lady with disturbing almost blue hair sitting by the oak tree with her nephew, you’ll recognize him, looks like Edgard Hoover, run for your life. That kid is the devil and I don’t want Antigone to hang out with him”“Shit … so you were serious when you said I had to write… hold on a second.” I can picture him trying to remember all I said, I forgot if he sticks his tongue out when he’s trying to concentrate …
“One last thing, who’s Edgard Hoover?”
“I could scream right now, but I don’t have time and I’m gonna simply call her school and let them know you are picking her up.”
“Shouldn’t we use a fake name?”
“It is the school Prince William and Prince Henry went too. They won’t be impressed by Mr. Rudebox, believe me”
“I’m not listening”
“Be there at 4. Sharp. Antigone doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
“No prob. See you later”
“What time do you need to be there?”
“At 5, to pick a 4 years old. Or is the other way round?”
“You are not funny”
Robbie is waiting outside her school. He sees her and waves, Antigone walks to him and smile. “Robert, so nice to see you again! Where’s my mum?”
“She’s working, so she asked me to come and pick you up, I hope it’s ok.” Takes a moment to look at her “What are you wearing?”
“A pink long skirt over my pants. Can’t you see? We had acting class today and Mrs. Jones made us choose a character and we are supposed to be that character until tomorrow.”
“And who are you, the Fairy from Fashion Nightmare?”
She turns around moving her long blond hair “I am Ophelia. I am desperately in love and I’ll kill myself”
“I guess Fiona from Shrek was not available. Ophelia, do you mind me asking, how old are you?”
“I’m 5” and she opens her hand, “I finished an entire set of fingers, look”. Robbie smiles and opens the car door for her. She looks at him and he looks at her “can’t you get in? Do you need help?”
“I’m 5 and I can only sit in the back”
“Right, let’s not tell your mother I tried to kill you”
“I’ll be dead by tomorrow, don’t worry, your secret is safe with me”
I rush home; hoping they both survived the experience. The moment I open the door I’m overcome by Bono’s voice blasting from the speakers singing “Elevation”.
Robbie is standing at the bottom of the stairs, wearing a black, 1600s man suit with a large white collar and he’s holding a skull. *God, please, let it be a fake one*. He’s moving around like a robot trying to climb the first step. Antigone is yelling at him from upstairs, I guess it could be in Italian but I’m not quite sure. She’s wearing a beautiful princess dress, has flowers in her hair and she’s throwing all her stuffed animal at him.
Robbie starts yelling too “To eat or not to eat, that is the question”.
I try to catch their attention but I feel like I’m invisible so I walk to the stereo and press STOP.
They both turn towards it and they see me “Mummy! You’re back” Robbie says, “Ciao mamma, cannot come down, too risky” add my daughter.
“What are you doing?”
“Don’t give me the death look, I have your list right here” and takes it out from his pocket
“You waterproof it?”
“Of course not! I had my assistant doing it for me. You are a scary person, anyway, there is nothing about re-writing Shakespeare in here and that’s what we are doing”
“Yes mummy!” she yells from upstairs “I’m Ophelia but Hamlet is a zombie, he ate Polonius and Gertrud already. I’m the only living being in Elsinore and I cannot let him bite me”
“Do you know how much that school cost? Do you have any idea of the phone calls I will be getting tomorrow morning? They took them to the Barbican to see the play” I’m trying to stay serious but it’s really hard
“I believe in being creative” he smiles
“And the costumes?”
“From Pinewood studios, my assistant again, they opened their warehouse only for us. It took her almost an hour to pick one. She’s her father’s daughter! And we also had a hairdresser to do her hair”
“If you wanted to impress her, the only thing you had to do was to buy her an ice-cream.” And I laugh “Should I simply ignore the two of you and get some dinner ready?”
He bows, “That would be lovely, but I EAT HUMAN MEAT” and runs up the stairs where Antigone is waiting for him.
NOBODY 12
He makes me turn towards him. He has tears in his eyes. “I would give anything I have to make your pain go away”
“Nobody can, that’s who I am now” I caress his cheek, “It is so hard. There are so many things we don’t know about each other and so many things we don’t wanna know about each other. We have this luggage we carry around …”
He shushes me “I want to know, and I want to help you carry your luggage if you will let me”
“I thought I was rescuing you, like I used to”
“So did I, I feel cheated, can I have that customer service toll free number you were talking about?”
I know he wants to kiss me but he’s too afraid, so I roll over him, brush my nose against his and I frivolously press my lips against his. “I’m sorry, the number you have dialed is currently busy” I tell him, “but you can try again if you like”
“Are you making a pass at me?”
“Maybe”
“Showing our kinky side, eh?” and he moves his hand on my neck, locking my hair in his fingers and presses me against his mouth. And this kiss is pure passion and lust. I break it and look into his eyes “there’s something you should know”
He’s scared “I’m just a poor bloke from Stoke, there’s just a certain amount of drama a can take in a day”
“No it’s nothing major, I hope, it’s just that, well, I’ve read in the papers all about your crazy nights out, the supermodels and… well… Howard is the only man I’ve been with”
He looks at me puzzled “Been where?”
I shrug and give him a little punch in the chest “Robbie, this is difficult enough without young being a smartass”
“You mean Doug is the only …”
“Should a draw a picture for you so it is clearer?”“You’re blushing”
“Don’t make fun of me”
“It’s hard not to, you should be studied. Seriously, weren’t you bored to death at a certain point? 15 years with him, you should have called Amnesty International!”
“Do you want me to go?” and I pretend to move away from him but he locks me in a tight embrace “No, you’re staying right there. You just made my day Emz!” and laughs “I’ve seen Doug naked many times, and he doesn’t stand a chance against me. But just to set the record straight, this is the first and last time we name him while we’re in bed. Robbie Jr. finds the subject depressing”
“Who’s Robbie’s Jr?”
“That’s right, you were not properly introduced, I have no manners” he smirks, kisses me and turn on top of me. “As I told you my ultimate fantasy is to make love to you till you pass out with utter and complete pleasure”
We’re cuddling in bed when my mobile rings, I pick it up “Oh, sure, yes, I’m so, so sorry, I was caught up in meeting. I’ll be right there, 10 minutes max, thanks so much Rachel”
“Where are you going?” he’s looking at me while I frantically look for my clothes “It’s 7.30, the nanny has to go home, I totally forgot about her. Shame on you Robbie! Shame on you! Few hours and you’re already taking me with you to the dark side”
“Funny lady! Can I come with you? We could have dinner together”
“No”
“Honesty is great quality, it can hurt though”
“Robbie I’m sorry but we need to take things slowly. I don’t think involving Antigone would be a smart move”
“She doesn’t have to know about” and turns towards the bed “it, and she likes me, I’m Robert from New York”
“Yes she does, and you’ll meet her again, but not tonight”
“Can I call you later?”
“Since when do you need my permission?”
“I don’t want to screw things up, I’m good at it and I would like to avoid it for a change”
“I’ll be waiting by the phone” I blow a kiss and leave.
“Nobody can, that’s who I am now” I caress his cheek, “It is so hard. There are so many things we don’t know about each other and so many things we don’t wanna know about each other. We have this luggage we carry around …”
He shushes me “I want to know, and I want to help you carry your luggage if you will let me”
“I thought I was rescuing you, like I used to”
“So did I, I feel cheated, can I have that customer service toll free number you were talking about?”
I know he wants to kiss me but he’s too afraid, so I roll over him, brush my nose against his and I frivolously press my lips against his. “I’m sorry, the number you have dialed is currently busy” I tell him, “but you can try again if you like”
“Are you making a pass at me?”
“Maybe”
“Showing our kinky side, eh?” and he moves his hand on my neck, locking my hair in his fingers and presses me against his mouth. And this kiss is pure passion and lust. I break it and look into his eyes “there’s something you should know”
He’s scared “I’m just a poor bloke from Stoke, there’s just a certain amount of drama a can take in a day”
“No it’s nothing major, I hope, it’s just that, well, I’ve read in the papers all about your crazy nights out, the supermodels and… well… Howard is the only man I’ve been with”
He looks at me puzzled “Been where?”
I shrug and give him a little punch in the chest “Robbie, this is difficult enough without young being a smartass”
“You mean Doug is the only …”
“Should a draw a picture for you so it is clearer?”“You’re blushing”
“Don’t make fun of me”
“It’s hard not to, you should be studied. Seriously, weren’t you bored to death at a certain point? 15 years with him, you should have called Amnesty International!”
“Do you want me to go?” and I pretend to move away from him but he locks me in a tight embrace “No, you’re staying right there. You just made my day Emz!” and laughs “I’ve seen Doug naked many times, and he doesn’t stand a chance against me. But just to set the record straight, this is the first and last time we name him while we’re in bed. Robbie Jr. finds the subject depressing”
“Who’s Robbie’s Jr?”
“That’s right, you were not properly introduced, I have no manners” he smirks, kisses me and turn on top of me. “As I told you my ultimate fantasy is to make love to you till you pass out with utter and complete pleasure”
We’re cuddling in bed when my mobile rings, I pick it up “Oh, sure, yes, I’m so, so sorry, I was caught up in meeting. I’ll be right there, 10 minutes max, thanks so much Rachel”
“Where are you going?” he’s looking at me while I frantically look for my clothes “It’s 7.30, the nanny has to go home, I totally forgot about her. Shame on you Robbie! Shame on you! Few hours and you’re already taking me with you to the dark side”
“Funny lady! Can I come with you? We could have dinner together”
“No”
“Honesty is great quality, it can hurt though”
“Robbie I’m sorry but we need to take things slowly. I don’t think involving Antigone would be a smart move”
“She doesn’t have to know about” and turns towards the bed “it, and she likes me, I’m Robert from New York”
“Yes she does, and you’ll meet her again, but not tonight”
“Can I call you later?”
“Since when do you need my permission?”
“I don’t want to screw things up, I’m good at it and I would like to avoid it for a change”
“I’ll be waiting by the phone” I blow a kiss and leave.
NOBODY 11
I get out from a meeting at 2 and my secretary reads some of the messages she wrote down and says, “High Priority! Robert Fitzgerald Williams called. He is waiting for you at the Ritz. NOW” he wanted me to write it down in capital letters “he said the magic words are Sponge Bob, are we publishing it? I didn’t think so”
I don’t even bother to answer her “Thanks. Do you think you can cancel all my meetings today?”
“Sure, no problem, there’s nothing major going on. Are you taking off?”
“Yes, I need to discuss important matters with him. Can you call the nanny and tell her if she can stay with Antigone until 7 tonight? If there is any emergency call me on my mobile. See you tomorrow”
I get a taxi, if I walk there I might think and therefore change my mind.
Use the magic word and the concierge gives me his room umber. I’m standing in front of his door in less than 5 minutes. I knock and he opens it.
He smiles but we are both speechless and embarrassed. At his mother house it was before-kissing-talk, now everything has changed.
“Please come in, I’m so glad you come”
“Thanks” and I step in.
“Can I get you anything to drink?”“Water is fine” we don’t know what to do or where to look *this is wrong, and awkward* “Robbie I’m sorry, I made a mistake, I better get going”
He grabs my arm, “No, please don’t go. I’m sorry for being an ass but I want to kiss you so bad I cannot concentrate on anything else”
*Am I supposed to say something back now?* and I stay there, staring at him.
“What would you do if I kiss you right now?
“You wouldn't kiss me. If this is our first so called date, the toughest one, we are supposed to have a little chit chat first, get to know each other”
“I’ve known you for 17, not, 18 years, that’s knowing each other enough to me. What would you do if I kiss you?” He places his hands on my hips and he does, not intensely, but more casually, sweetly-playfully. Then he looks at me, smirks and says “My precious!”
I look at him grateful, he broke the ice, Robbie’s style “so how was your week-end?”
“A blast, I was forced to play strip poker with my mom and her friends. I ended up wearing a tie, my boxers and a sock. What about yours?”
“Had a party … got slightly drunk … woke Gary and Mark with … a bucket … of water” it is hard to find the words since he is kissing my neck and mumbling “interesting” at every word I say.
He looks back at me; he’s confident now “I lost to the wild bunch because of you. I’ve been thinking of you all the time. I finally made up my mind and decided my ultimate fantasy is to make love to you till you pass out with utter and complete pleasure" he says.
I feel like laughing but I don’t think he would like it. So I’m standing right in front of him, our eyes lock, but I can’t find any word to say. It is like for that brief moment we understand each other, and know what we want. Robbie eventually closes his eyes and buries his face into my neck. “I want you so much I can’t breathe”"Take me" two simple words I am surprised to say.Robbie slowly reaches down with his right arm. He smoothly and quickly lifts my legs off the ground, effectively sweeping me off her feet. I wrap my hands around his neck and support my weight. He carries me around, and playfully tosses me onto the bed.Without waiting an instant, he slides on top of me, wrapping his arms around my back, and holding me tightly. It is so different and wonderful having another man caressing my body. My heart races.We are lying down, groping each other, and rubbing our hands against each other's body, trying to memorize every single detail. Our heads move back and forth, kissing one another, with each kiss growing in passion and lust. He is on top of me. Smiles and unbutton my shirts.
“I know you’re used to super models, you better be ready for disappointment, I’ll give you our customer service toll free number later” I whisper.
He stares at me, “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful” and he lowers his face planting a series of small kisses on my cheeks. Each kiss is slow, soft, and filled with love. He continues until he kisses my jaw line, and my chin, and finally down to my neck, spending time kissing the front and sides, while his hands move to unhook my bra so he can caress my breasts.
He starts kissing my chest, and down my belly when he stops. I know he saw it. “Emilia, what the heck is that! Are you living a double life? Spreading culture and fun among the younglings during the day and fighting the crime at night? Who did that to you?” I close my eyes *Robbie stop it right there*. “That’s huge, and I must say I like it. Let me give another look”. I place my hands on his face and push him away from me. I stand up and look for my shirt.
“What’s going on? Where are you going?” he standing in front of me trying to stop me from putting it back “I’m sorry. If you don’t like it so much we can have it removed. Plastic surgeon can do miracles. Look at Jackie Collins”
“Let me go, I’m no longer in the mood” I’m fighting the tears.
“No I am not letting you go. Talk to me”
‘I DON’T talk about it, I’ve never talked about it”
He tries to hug me but I push him away “give me my shirt back”
“No, talk to me”
“It’s a c-section scar, do you know what it is?”“Of course I do, but my sister’s one is smaller. How big was Antigone when she was born, the size of a baby cow?”
“Antigone is not an only child. I had a baby boy, this is his scar. And I don’t get rid of it because it’s the only thing I have left of James” I listen to my own word, I’ve never said his name out loud since the day he was born and I crack. I start sobbing, on the verge of hysteria. “I lied to you when I said I left Howard because he cheated on me”.
Robbie is staring at me, he seems to be thinking about what to do next and I’m sure he’s checking how far the door his. When I think he’s going to leave he takes me back into his arm, I try to fight him but he brings me back to the bed and gently covers me with the duvet. He sits on the floor by me and strokes my hair “I’m sorry babe, tell me what happened, let it all out. Cry, you will feel better, I’m here”.
He keeps stroking my hair and I fall asleep. I wake up 30 minutes later. I’m so tired. Robbie is no longer there, *I knew he couldn’t take it* when I feel a hand caressing my back.
He his lying by me, “Welcome back, I thought I could make myself comfortable while waiting for you to wake up” and kisses my hair.
“You’re still here”“Not going anywhere, tell me about James”
“Don’t say his name, no one can in my presence”“Tell me about James”
Such a sweet sound, Robbie’s saying his name. I snuggle against him, his right arm under my head and the left one on my belly.
“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”
“Try me” and kisses the back on my neck.
I close my eyes and sigh “We decided to have another child. Antigone was 2 and a half at the time. When they told us I was expecting a baby boy Howard was head over heels. I had an uneventful pregnancy. Went for a visit a week before the baby was due and everything was perfect, he was in position, strong heartbeat. So we went back home, fed Antigone, put her to bed and we had dinner. Artichoke risotto and salad. I remember the smallest details about that night. The last night of my previous life. The risotto was too hot and the tomatoes in the salad too red. We chatted a little about a vacation we were planning and I went to bed. Howard went working on some music. He put his headphone on so he would not disturb me. After an hour a cramp woke me up. I’ve never felt so much physical pain in my life. And I screamed, I called him, I kept calling him but he couldn’t hear me. I looked down and I saw the blood. There was blood everywhere. I kept on screaming, trying to get to the phone but I couldn’t move. Howard found me half an hour later. I had almost bled out to death. But I could feel his heartbeat inside me, he was fine. Howard took me into his arms and to the car. He kept on saying “everything is going to be alright” but I knew he was lying. I knew I was going to die, I just knew. I was picturing him, and Antigone and James together, walking in a park. I felt serene; I knew Howard would take good care of them. I trusted him with my life, I trusted him with my children’s lives. We arrived at the hospital. They inserted a tube down my throat so I could breathe. Howard never let go my hand, but no matter how hard he hold it I was slipping away. The doctor was telling him about placenta detachment and kidney failure. I didn’t care; James’ heartbeat was sound and strong. But the doctor told him he had to make a decision. My life or James’. I tried to open my eyes, tell him to save the baby. I was going to be fine. I didn’t care. When I woke up Howard was still by my side. He looked like a ghost, he was crying. I put a hand on my belly and it was flat.
I rolled on the other side so I didn’t have to face him, covered my head with the sheet and started to scream.
Only Dawn was able to calm me down. She was the only one allowed into my room. She took me home with her. I lived in their guest bedroom for four months. She would feed me, and wash me, and comfort me and brush my hair. The only time we talked about James was when she tried to convince me to go to his funeral. I have never seen my child. Howard had to take care of everything and of Antigone too. I was determined to kill myself. I couldn’t bare the pain; I should have died that day at the hospital. And one day the door to my bedroom opened and Daniel walked in. He got close to me “Auntie Em? Is it you?” I didn’t answer. He put his little hands over my face, just to make sure it was really me, smiled and climbed on the bed hugging me “Mummy told me your baby is in heaven. I know you miss him, but I can be your baby boy if you want, don’t be sad, I love you” I put my arms around him and cried. My little Daniel saved me. That day I went down for dinner. The following morning I asked for my daughter and a week later I was looking for a house. That’s why I left Howard. We don’t talk about James, ever. And every time I look at him I try to picture what my son looked like, if he had hazel eyes, like mine, or the same blue-greenish ones his father and sister have. And I’m afraid I might go crazy if I don’t stop asking myself”.
I don’t even bother to answer her “Thanks. Do you think you can cancel all my meetings today?”
“Sure, no problem, there’s nothing major going on. Are you taking off?”
“Yes, I need to discuss important matters with him. Can you call the nanny and tell her if she can stay with Antigone until 7 tonight? If there is any emergency call me on my mobile. See you tomorrow”
I get a taxi, if I walk there I might think and therefore change my mind.
Use the magic word and the concierge gives me his room umber. I’m standing in front of his door in less than 5 minutes. I knock and he opens it.
He smiles but we are both speechless and embarrassed. At his mother house it was before-kissing-talk, now everything has changed.
“Please come in, I’m so glad you come”
“Thanks” and I step in.
“Can I get you anything to drink?”“Water is fine” we don’t know what to do or where to look *this is wrong, and awkward* “Robbie I’m sorry, I made a mistake, I better get going”
He grabs my arm, “No, please don’t go. I’m sorry for being an ass but I want to kiss you so bad I cannot concentrate on anything else”
*Am I supposed to say something back now?* and I stay there, staring at him.
“What would you do if I kiss you right now?
“You wouldn't kiss me. If this is our first so called date, the toughest one, we are supposed to have a little chit chat first, get to know each other”
“I’ve known you for 17, not, 18 years, that’s knowing each other enough to me. What would you do if I kiss you?” He places his hands on my hips and he does, not intensely, but more casually, sweetly-playfully. Then he looks at me, smirks and says “My precious!”
I look at him grateful, he broke the ice, Robbie’s style “so how was your week-end?”
“A blast, I was forced to play strip poker with my mom and her friends. I ended up wearing a tie, my boxers and a sock. What about yours?”
“Had a party … got slightly drunk … woke Gary and Mark with … a bucket … of water” it is hard to find the words since he is kissing my neck and mumbling “interesting” at every word I say.
He looks back at me; he’s confident now “I lost to the wild bunch because of you. I’ve been thinking of you all the time. I finally made up my mind and decided my ultimate fantasy is to make love to you till you pass out with utter and complete pleasure" he says.
I feel like laughing but I don’t think he would like it. So I’m standing right in front of him, our eyes lock, but I can’t find any word to say. It is like for that brief moment we understand each other, and know what we want. Robbie eventually closes his eyes and buries his face into my neck. “I want you so much I can’t breathe”"Take me" two simple words I am surprised to say.Robbie slowly reaches down with his right arm. He smoothly and quickly lifts my legs off the ground, effectively sweeping me off her feet. I wrap my hands around his neck and support my weight. He carries me around, and playfully tosses me onto the bed.Without waiting an instant, he slides on top of me, wrapping his arms around my back, and holding me tightly. It is so different and wonderful having another man caressing my body. My heart races.We are lying down, groping each other, and rubbing our hands against each other's body, trying to memorize every single detail. Our heads move back and forth, kissing one another, with each kiss growing in passion and lust. He is on top of me. Smiles and unbutton my shirts.
“I know you’re used to super models, you better be ready for disappointment, I’ll give you our customer service toll free number later” I whisper.
He stares at me, “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful” and he lowers his face planting a series of small kisses on my cheeks. Each kiss is slow, soft, and filled with love. He continues until he kisses my jaw line, and my chin, and finally down to my neck, spending time kissing the front and sides, while his hands move to unhook my bra so he can caress my breasts.
He starts kissing my chest, and down my belly when he stops. I know he saw it. “Emilia, what the heck is that! Are you living a double life? Spreading culture and fun among the younglings during the day and fighting the crime at night? Who did that to you?” I close my eyes *Robbie stop it right there*. “That’s huge, and I must say I like it. Let me give another look”. I place my hands on his face and push him away from me. I stand up and look for my shirt.
“What’s going on? Where are you going?” he standing in front of me trying to stop me from putting it back “I’m sorry. If you don’t like it so much we can have it removed. Plastic surgeon can do miracles. Look at Jackie Collins”
“Let me go, I’m no longer in the mood” I’m fighting the tears.
“No I am not letting you go. Talk to me”
‘I DON’T talk about it, I’ve never talked about it”
He tries to hug me but I push him away “give me my shirt back”
“No, talk to me”
“It’s a c-section scar, do you know what it is?”“Of course I do, but my sister’s one is smaller. How big was Antigone when she was born, the size of a baby cow?”
“Antigone is not an only child. I had a baby boy, this is his scar. And I don’t get rid of it because it’s the only thing I have left of James” I listen to my own word, I’ve never said his name out loud since the day he was born and I crack. I start sobbing, on the verge of hysteria. “I lied to you when I said I left Howard because he cheated on me”.
Robbie is staring at me, he seems to be thinking about what to do next and I’m sure he’s checking how far the door his. When I think he’s going to leave he takes me back into his arm, I try to fight him but he brings me back to the bed and gently covers me with the duvet. He sits on the floor by me and strokes my hair “I’m sorry babe, tell me what happened, let it all out. Cry, you will feel better, I’m here”.
He keeps stroking my hair and I fall asleep. I wake up 30 minutes later. I’m so tired. Robbie is no longer there, *I knew he couldn’t take it* when I feel a hand caressing my back.
He his lying by me, “Welcome back, I thought I could make myself comfortable while waiting for you to wake up” and kisses my hair.
“You’re still here”“Not going anywhere, tell me about James”
“Don’t say his name, no one can in my presence”“Tell me about James”
Such a sweet sound, Robbie’s saying his name. I snuggle against him, his right arm under my head and the left one on my belly.
“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”
“Try me” and kisses the back on my neck.
I close my eyes and sigh “We decided to have another child. Antigone was 2 and a half at the time. When they told us I was expecting a baby boy Howard was head over heels. I had an uneventful pregnancy. Went for a visit a week before the baby was due and everything was perfect, he was in position, strong heartbeat. So we went back home, fed Antigone, put her to bed and we had dinner. Artichoke risotto and salad. I remember the smallest details about that night. The last night of my previous life. The risotto was too hot and the tomatoes in the salad too red. We chatted a little about a vacation we were planning and I went to bed. Howard went working on some music. He put his headphone on so he would not disturb me. After an hour a cramp woke me up. I’ve never felt so much physical pain in my life. And I screamed, I called him, I kept calling him but he couldn’t hear me. I looked down and I saw the blood. There was blood everywhere. I kept on screaming, trying to get to the phone but I couldn’t move. Howard found me half an hour later. I had almost bled out to death. But I could feel his heartbeat inside me, he was fine. Howard took me into his arms and to the car. He kept on saying “everything is going to be alright” but I knew he was lying. I knew I was going to die, I just knew. I was picturing him, and Antigone and James together, walking in a park. I felt serene; I knew Howard would take good care of them. I trusted him with my life, I trusted him with my children’s lives. We arrived at the hospital. They inserted a tube down my throat so I could breathe. Howard never let go my hand, but no matter how hard he hold it I was slipping away. The doctor was telling him about placenta detachment and kidney failure. I didn’t care; James’ heartbeat was sound and strong. But the doctor told him he had to make a decision. My life or James’. I tried to open my eyes, tell him to save the baby. I was going to be fine. I didn’t care. When I woke up Howard was still by my side. He looked like a ghost, he was crying. I put a hand on my belly and it was flat.
I rolled on the other side so I didn’t have to face him, covered my head with the sheet and started to scream.
Only Dawn was able to calm me down. She was the only one allowed into my room. She took me home with her. I lived in their guest bedroom for four months. She would feed me, and wash me, and comfort me and brush my hair. The only time we talked about James was when she tried to convince me to go to his funeral. I have never seen my child. Howard had to take care of everything and of Antigone too. I was determined to kill myself. I couldn’t bare the pain; I should have died that day at the hospital. And one day the door to my bedroom opened and Daniel walked in. He got close to me “Auntie Em? Is it you?” I didn’t answer. He put his little hands over my face, just to make sure it was really me, smiled and climbed on the bed hugging me “Mummy told me your baby is in heaven. I know you miss him, but I can be your baby boy if you want, don’t be sad, I love you” I put my arms around him and cried. My little Daniel saved me. That day I went down for dinner. The following morning I asked for my daughter and a week later I was looking for a house. That’s why I left Howard. We don’t talk about James, ever. And every time I look at him I try to picture what my son looked like, if he had hazel eyes, like mine, or the same blue-greenish ones his father and sister have. And I’m afraid I might go crazy if I don’t stop asking myself”.
NOBODY 10
We make some more coffee.
“You need to make up your mind. You need to decide if you’re over Howard. If you’re not you need to work things out and be a family again”
“I don't have to take this crap from you”
“If you're so over him, why aren't you seeing anyone? “I see people, and I kissed Robbie, remember?” “That’s a new entry and does not technically count. Have you slept with anyone since you moved out from your home? “What the hell does that have to do with anything? That will prove I'm over Doug? Are you suggesting I should sleep my way to oblivion? You know I can’t. I will make love to somebody when it is making love”
“Are you finished now? “...Yes. Did I overreact?” “Can I say something?”
“Yes.” “ ...I'm sorry. You take your time. But you have to let someone else in. You cannot keep turning to Howard every time you need a human touch”
The cook enters the kitchen and we can tell she’s not happy to see her kingdom invaded by us.
“The kids will be up soon, I better shower and I go collect my husband before his children see him like that”
“Can I help?”
“What do you have in mind?”
“Two words: water and a bucket”
“Wicked”
We walk to the garden and to the table where Gary and Mark are sleeping, “We need to give them a fair chance to avoid the unavoidable”
“I do agree Hutch”
“Thanks Starsky” and she gets closer to her husband and whispers with a very low voice “honey, honey wake up”
Nothing, nicht, niente, rien. They are not moving.
“Does it count as a fair chance to avoid the unavoidable to you?”
I don’t even answer; I simply empty a bucketful of cold water all over them. We’re enjoying the scene with our arms crossed.
“Have you ever heard anyone screaming like that?” she asks.
“Not since we watched the Blair Witch Project”
“That’s what I thought”.
The house is back to life, the kids are running around the corridors, people are having breakfast and I decide to check on Howard.
I open the door to the bedroom and he’s lying on his stomach in the center of the bed. I get closer and stroke his hair. I look at him and move my mouth close to his cheek, I kiss it and then I yell in ear “HONEY WAKE UP!”
He literally jumps off the bed “What the fuck!”
“Morning to you too, it’s present time”
Howard is always grumpy in the morning “What time is it? Why did you wake me up in a such a sweet way? I was dreaming … about you actually” I see he’s remembering about last night, he has the biggest smile on his face, “it was fantastic, wasn’t it? It was like we used to be”
“Yes, this is your present”
“Morning kiss?”
I don’t let me get closer, “Present” and he understands last night was just a parenthesis, nothing changed. We’re as miserable as we were before dinner.
He sighs and starts unwrapping the little box I gave him. There are four keys inside. “What is it? The keys to your heart?”
“No, these are the keys to 4 rooms in a 5 star hotel in Formentera. I booked you and your partners in crime for 4 nights. Your plane leaves tonight at 9. It’s all been taken care of. With all the rehearsing for the tour I thought you might use a break from it and us. You go and have fun”
“I’ll trade the three of them for one of you”
“I am one and I am not coming”
“I had to try” he puts his pants back on, walks to the door, ready to show his best smiling face to the world and starts yelling “Vamos! Vamos! My lovely lady is shipping us to Spain!”
Jason is already in the mood and is playing some flamenco tunes in the living room; Emily and Antigone are trying to improvise a dance when the entrance door opens.
Dominick looks like he survived a tornado.
“What the hell happened to you?”
“Bother, you have no idea. I was sexually abused! Over, and over, and over! It was absofuckinlutely fantastic!”
Jason turns towards Gary “I’m almost positive he was adopted”.
I’m playing with Daniel when I notice Dawn and Mark talking in the garden. Mark is smoking and doesn’t seem too happy having to answer her questions.
“This Robbie, what is he really like?”
“He’s a good lad, really. Fucked up but who’s not these days?”
“Mark I need to understand, what do you think about it, them?”
“Frankly, I’m so scared about what might happen I haven’t even thought about it. They were friends back then, almost same age, but she’s always been into older men and he considered her his mother hen. She was basically taking care of him as you would do with a puppy you find in the street. They would go out, have fun, that’s it. But if he thinks he wants her there’s no stopping Robbie, so you’ll need to stop her’
“I won’t”
He is truly surprised “I want you to picture the following situation: they get together, it won’t last I guarantee you, but in the meantime paparazzi will spot them, pictures everywhere, Howard will find out and that will be the end. He cannot take another blow. It would be too much and you know it. There are 5 billions people in the world. Half of them men and she wants the only one she can’t have. What would Gary say? And Jason? She needs to give it up”
“They are adults, and I think she should give it a chance”
“He doesn’t know”
“Fuck”
“The word I was looking for. Robbie can’t deal with crisis; once she tells him he will run away so fast he won’t have the time to close the door behind him”
She thinks about what to say next “still, stay away from them. Promise”
“I promise but it’s a major mistake”
His phone rings, “Speaking of the devil, it’s Robbie, we were supposed to have lunch together”
“Tell him you’re busy”
“Hi, mate, yes, see I’m sorry but Dawn doesn’t want me to see you. She ordered me to stay away from you and Emilia … What? ... Sure, I will” hangs up and tells her “he says he loves you and he forgives you for being married to Gary”.
We’re all saying our goodbyes; Antigone is sitting in the back, reading a comic book and listening to her ipod. I hug everyone “have a safe trip to Spain and have fun guys”
“We will” they answer.
I get closer to Howard “I put the papers in you bag. Sign them”
“I’m not signing the bloody divorce papers”
Mark looks at me, and at him and shakes his head.
I get in the car and leave. Alone at last. I check my answering machine and there’s another message from Robbie.
‘I tried to call you at least a million times. The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe either (1) your body got snatched by evil aliens and you are trying to break free while I’m wasting my time dialing your number instead of coming to your rescue, (2) your body was not snatched by evil aliens but don't want to talk to me, or (3) you’re there, by your phone, desperately want to talk to me, but Gary tied you to a chair forcing you to listen to ‘Reach Out’ over and over. If it's either (1) or (2), please call me back.’
I call him. “Ciao, I’m on my way back to London, I won’t be able to stop, I have Antigone with me. Do you think you can come to London? You owe me a dinner”
“Are you sure you cannot stop by even for a couple of minutes? I really need to see you”
“No, if you want to see me come to London”
“I cannot move about in this country, it’s open season on Robbie Williams”
“Then I guess Mark is right and it’s simply not meant to be”
“You need to understand the words ‘Mark’ and ‘right’ never ever go in the same sentence, unless you squeeze a ‘not’ in the middle. I’ll see you tomorrow and if I end up on the Sun front page I’m taking you down with me”
“Hummm, so tough and self-confident. Sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number”.
“You need to make up your mind. You need to decide if you’re over Howard. If you’re not you need to work things out and be a family again”
“I don't have to take this crap from you”
“If you're so over him, why aren't you seeing anyone? “I see people, and I kissed Robbie, remember?” “That’s a new entry and does not technically count. Have you slept with anyone since you moved out from your home? “What the hell does that have to do with anything? That will prove I'm over Doug? Are you suggesting I should sleep my way to oblivion? You know I can’t. I will make love to somebody when it is making love”
“Are you finished now? “...Yes. Did I overreact?” “Can I say something?”
“Yes.” “ ...I'm sorry. You take your time. But you have to let someone else in. You cannot keep turning to Howard every time you need a human touch”
The cook enters the kitchen and we can tell she’s not happy to see her kingdom invaded by us.
“The kids will be up soon, I better shower and I go collect my husband before his children see him like that”
“Can I help?”
“What do you have in mind?”
“Two words: water and a bucket”
“Wicked”
We walk to the garden and to the table where Gary and Mark are sleeping, “We need to give them a fair chance to avoid the unavoidable”
“I do agree Hutch”
“Thanks Starsky” and she gets closer to her husband and whispers with a very low voice “honey, honey wake up”
Nothing, nicht, niente, rien. They are not moving.
“Does it count as a fair chance to avoid the unavoidable to you?”
I don’t even answer; I simply empty a bucketful of cold water all over them. We’re enjoying the scene with our arms crossed.
“Have you ever heard anyone screaming like that?” she asks.
“Not since we watched the Blair Witch Project”
“That’s what I thought”.
The house is back to life, the kids are running around the corridors, people are having breakfast and I decide to check on Howard.
I open the door to the bedroom and he’s lying on his stomach in the center of the bed. I get closer and stroke his hair. I look at him and move my mouth close to his cheek, I kiss it and then I yell in ear “HONEY WAKE UP!”
He literally jumps off the bed “What the fuck!”
“Morning to you too, it’s present time”
Howard is always grumpy in the morning “What time is it? Why did you wake me up in a such a sweet way? I was dreaming … about you actually” I see he’s remembering about last night, he has the biggest smile on his face, “it was fantastic, wasn’t it? It was like we used to be”
“Yes, this is your present”
“Morning kiss?”
I don’t let me get closer, “Present” and he understands last night was just a parenthesis, nothing changed. We’re as miserable as we were before dinner.
He sighs and starts unwrapping the little box I gave him. There are four keys inside. “What is it? The keys to your heart?”
“No, these are the keys to 4 rooms in a 5 star hotel in Formentera. I booked you and your partners in crime for 4 nights. Your plane leaves tonight at 9. It’s all been taken care of. With all the rehearsing for the tour I thought you might use a break from it and us. You go and have fun”
“I’ll trade the three of them for one of you”
“I am one and I am not coming”
“I had to try” he puts his pants back on, walks to the door, ready to show his best smiling face to the world and starts yelling “Vamos! Vamos! My lovely lady is shipping us to Spain!”
Jason is already in the mood and is playing some flamenco tunes in the living room; Emily and Antigone are trying to improvise a dance when the entrance door opens.
Dominick looks like he survived a tornado.
“What the hell happened to you?”
“Bother, you have no idea. I was sexually abused! Over, and over, and over! It was absofuckinlutely fantastic!”
Jason turns towards Gary “I’m almost positive he was adopted”.
I’m playing with Daniel when I notice Dawn and Mark talking in the garden. Mark is smoking and doesn’t seem too happy having to answer her questions.
“This Robbie, what is he really like?”
“He’s a good lad, really. Fucked up but who’s not these days?”
“Mark I need to understand, what do you think about it, them?”
“Frankly, I’m so scared about what might happen I haven’t even thought about it. They were friends back then, almost same age, but she’s always been into older men and he considered her his mother hen. She was basically taking care of him as you would do with a puppy you find in the street. They would go out, have fun, that’s it. But if he thinks he wants her there’s no stopping Robbie, so you’ll need to stop her’
“I won’t”
He is truly surprised “I want you to picture the following situation: they get together, it won’t last I guarantee you, but in the meantime paparazzi will spot them, pictures everywhere, Howard will find out and that will be the end. He cannot take another blow. It would be too much and you know it. There are 5 billions people in the world. Half of them men and she wants the only one she can’t have. What would Gary say? And Jason? She needs to give it up”
“They are adults, and I think she should give it a chance”
“He doesn’t know”
“Fuck”
“The word I was looking for. Robbie can’t deal with crisis; once she tells him he will run away so fast he won’t have the time to close the door behind him”
She thinks about what to say next “still, stay away from them. Promise”
“I promise but it’s a major mistake”
His phone rings, “Speaking of the devil, it’s Robbie, we were supposed to have lunch together”
“Tell him you’re busy”
“Hi, mate, yes, see I’m sorry but Dawn doesn’t want me to see you. She ordered me to stay away from you and Emilia … What? ... Sure, I will” hangs up and tells her “he says he loves you and he forgives you for being married to Gary”.
We’re all saying our goodbyes; Antigone is sitting in the back, reading a comic book and listening to her ipod. I hug everyone “have a safe trip to Spain and have fun guys”
“We will” they answer.
I get closer to Howard “I put the papers in you bag. Sign them”
“I’m not signing the bloody divorce papers”
Mark looks at me, and at him and shakes his head.
I get in the car and leave. Alone at last. I check my answering machine and there’s another message from Robbie.
‘I tried to call you at least a million times. The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe either (1) your body got snatched by evil aliens and you are trying to break free while I’m wasting my time dialing your number instead of coming to your rescue, (2) your body was not snatched by evil aliens but don't want to talk to me, or (3) you’re there, by your phone, desperately want to talk to me, but Gary tied you to a chair forcing you to listen to ‘Reach Out’ over and over. If it's either (1) or (2), please call me back.’
I call him. “Ciao, I’m on my way back to London, I won’t be able to stop, I have Antigone with me. Do you think you can come to London? You owe me a dinner”
“Are you sure you cannot stop by even for a couple of minutes? I really need to see you”
“No, if you want to see me come to London”
“I cannot move about in this country, it’s open season on Robbie Williams”
“Then I guess Mark is right and it’s simply not meant to be”
“You need to understand the words ‘Mark’ and ‘right’ never ever go in the same sentence, unless you squeeze a ‘not’ in the middle. I’ll see you tomorrow and if I end up on the Sun front page I’m taking you down with me”
“Hummm, so tough and self-confident. Sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number”.
NOBODY 9
Howard moves right by me pinning his elbow right into my side and I suddenly remember why I used to be covered in bruises.
I look at him, fast asleep and peaceful. I could swear I saw him smiling before. I sigh and move away very slowly. I don’t want to wake him up. I look at alarm clock, it’s 6 o’clock. I put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, grab my mobile and go downstairs. I head to the kitchen, I need coffee, bad. I open the door and I see Dawn sitting at the table.
“Mrs. Dawn Hangover Barlow, is it so bad?”
She’s holding her head with her hands, eyes closed “Don’t talk to me, it hurts. We’re too old for this shit you know? It will take me forever to recover. Could you please just shoot me?”
“No, I need you too much. Coffee?”
“Please” and looks at me “you’re fine, too fine. OH MY GOD” she yells “ouch that was painful, keep the volume down”.
“I just love it when you talk to yourself”
“You look terrific, and that’s the terrific only good sex can provide”
“Let’s just say I had a little work out last night”
“Why don’t you just shoot him, like you do with horses? Put an end to his misery.”
I smash one of the cups into the sink. “Don’t do it! I beg of you! I need you to be on my side. Howard will be fine. He knows”.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. Let me just say this is a sad, heartrending world if you can have wild sex with a man you are about to divorce and I, legally married, get no action at all. Gary was so smashed I couldn’t even manage to carry him to our bedroom. And apparently he was not the only one. I went to check on him before. He’s spooning Mark on a table in the garden. I took a picture, you never know. It could be worth big money one day!”
“How do you know it was wild?”
“Thin walls”
I answer while switching my mobile on which immediately signals I have a voice-message.
“Right. You are popular. Who wants you so early in the morning?”
It’s Robbie, I can’t help but smile.
“I’m done playing the ‘good-friend-who-gives-you-the-time-you-need’ part. So who did you kiss? I’ve been thinking about it since you told me”
“You have such and interesting life, can I borrow it sometimes?”
She is obviously not listening to me; she does it often “You said it’s not Mark, or Gary. Cannot be Jason. Can you imagine? He would walk around whipping himself repeating ‘I don’t deserve to live’”.
I shake my head, “that is a disturbing yet credible scenario”.
“Andy is gay. Thomas is not your type. George … you are definitely not his type”
“I could be”
“I don’t think so. If you can remember Michael Jackson being African American, you are truly not is type. The rest of our male friends are either too fucked up or married and you would never mess with someone else’s husband”
“You think you know me so well”
“I do Mrs. McPrudery, and I cannot think of anybody who is kissable enough for you”
“Kissable? Is that a word?”
“What do you know? You’re Italian.”
“Coffee’s on the way, with lots of sugar!”
“Thanks. You used the Fantastic Four metaphor, so your twisted mind is trying to tell me something. But what?”
I pour her some coffee and listen to Robbie’s message at the same time
‘I’m here all alooone...doing nothing but thinking of you… Do you remember that night back 1991 when we seized the karaoke bar in Manchester and we sang Bohemian Rhapsody 16 times before they kicked us out? I wish I could see the face of that guy today. If he had known he was kicking out Robbie 14 BRITS Williams and that we would be kissing only 16 years later. I’m not complaining, I believe in slow going. Off topic. I thought having Freddie’s spirit on my side would increase my chances to nail you – and he laughs – I’m a poet! That’s my serenade for you. I hope this thing does not cut me off.’ I laugh too.
Dawn’s stream of consciousness doesn’t seem to end “So he must be someone close. But who? My head hurts” and she bangs it on the table.
I know I can trust her, so I hand her my mobile, “whenever you’re ready, press 1 to listen to the message”.
She takes it, presses 1 and listens. From her look I guess she’s listening to him singing
‘Ooh let me feel your heartbeat,
I look at him, fast asleep and peaceful. I could swear I saw him smiling before. I sigh and move away very slowly. I don’t want to wake him up. I look at alarm clock, it’s 6 o’clock. I put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, grab my mobile and go downstairs. I head to the kitchen, I need coffee, bad. I open the door and I see Dawn sitting at the table.
“Mrs. Dawn Hangover Barlow, is it so bad?”
She’s holding her head with her hands, eyes closed “Don’t talk to me, it hurts. We’re too old for this shit you know? It will take me forever to recover. Could you please just shoot me?”
“No, I need you too much. Coffee?”
“Please” and looks at me “you’re fine, too fine. OH MY GOD” she yells “ouch that was painful, keep the volume down”.
“I just love it when you talk to yourself”
“You look terrific, and that’s the terrific only good sex can provide”
“Let’s just say I had a little work out last night”
“Why don’t you just shoot him, like you do with horses? Put an end to his misery.”
I smash one of the cups into the sink. “Don’t do it! I beg of you! I need you to be on my side. Howard will be fine. He knows”.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. Let me just say this is a sad, heartrending world if you can have wild sex with a man you are about to divorce and I, legally married, get no action at all. Gary was so smashed I couldn’t even manage to carry him to our bedroom. And apparently he was not the only one. I went to check on him before. He’s spooning Mark on a table in the garden. I took a picture, you never know. It could be worth big money one day!”
“How do you know it was wild?”
“Thin walls”
I answer while switching my mobile on which immediately signals I have a voice-message.
“Right. You are popular. Who wants you so early in the morning?”
It’s Robbie, I can’t help but smile.
“I’m done playing the ‘good-friend-who-gives-you-the-time-you-need’ part. So who did you kiss? I’ve been thinking about it since you told me”
“You have such and interesting life, can I borrow it sometimes?”
She is obviously not listening to me; she does it often “You said it’s not Mark, or Gary. Cannot be Jason. Can you imagine? He would walk around whipping himself repeating ‘I don’t deserve to live’”.
I shake my head, “that is a disturbing yet credible scenario”.
“Andy is gay. Thomas is not your type. George … you are definitely not his type”
“I could be”
“I don’t think so. If you can remember Michael Jackson being African American, you are truly not is type. The rest of our male friends are either too fucked up or married and you would never mess with someone else’s husband”
“You think you know me so well”
“I do Mrs. McPrudery, and I cannot think of anybody who is kissable enough for you”
“Kissable? Is that a word?”
“What do you know? You’re Italian.”
“Coffee’s on the way, with lots of sugar!”
“Thanks. You used the Fantastic Four metaphor, so your twisted mind is trying to tell me something. But what?”
I pour her some coffee and listen to Robbie’s message at the same time
‘I’m here all alooone...doing nothing but thinking of you… Do you remember that night back 1991 when we seized the karaoke bar in Manchester and we sang Bohemian Rhapsody 16 times before they kicked us out? I wish I could see the face of that guy today. If he had known he was kicking out Robbie 14 BRITS Williams and that we would be kissing only 16 years later. I’m not complaining, I believe in slow going. Off topic. I thought having Freddie’s spirit on my side would increase my chances to nail you – and he laughs – I’m a poet! That’s my serenade for you. I hope this thing does not cut me off.’ I laugh too.
Dawn’s stream of consciousness doesn’t seem to end “So he must be someone close. But who? My head hurts” and she bangs it on the table.
I know I can trust her, so I hand her my mobile, “whenever you’re ready, press 1 to listen to the message”.
She takes it, presses 1 and listens. From her look I guess she’s listening to him singing
‘Ooh let me feel your heartbeat,
Grow faster, faster
Ooh ooh can you feel my love heat
Come on and sit on my hot-seat of love
And tell me how do you feel right after-all
I'd like for you and I to go romancing
Say the word - your wish is my command’
“SHIT!” and she drops the mobile on the table like it just bit her “that’s, that’s, that’s …”
“In your own words”
She gets up and walks to me, placing her hands on my shoulders. We have been here before. Dawn trying to save me. “That is trouble. I don’t know him but you know it can be a major catastrophe. Do you think it is worth it?”
“How am I supposed to know? It is brand new and unexpected”
“Howard and Antigone. Have you thought about them? And the tabloids? If this thing gets out you’ll have paparazzi following you everywhere, can you imagine the headlines?”
“Thinking, it’s all I’m doing. We kissed yesterday and I didn’t feel the pain, can you imagine how I felt? No pain for few brief moments”
“Really? Did he really make you happy?”
“Happy does not describe it but it was close, I think. If you feel this is wrong I’ll end it. You tell me what to do. I trust you; it’s only because of you I’m standing in this kitchen today”
She smiles at me, “‘I think’ is more than I’ve ever hoped for. You give him a chance. I’ll take care of the rest. I’m here for you”
“Thank you” and we hug, “can’t tell Gary”
“You think? Can you picture him and Howard getting into a car and run your wonder boy over? Does Mark know?”
“Yes, he came by Robbie’s house yesterday”
“I’ll have a talk to him. I need my coffee and all the spicy details now.”
We sit at the table, when Glen enters the kitchen. We look at him “Morning Glenn, have you been told there’s no law in this country against personal hygiene?”
He looks smashed “I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”
“Blade Runner, it must be bad”
"Dominick and I went to the wrong party last night. He got the directions wrong, if you look up the word retarded in the dictionary you find his brainless face. We got to that mansion where there were approximately 2000 women who obviously hadn’t seen a man in a long time. We made a triumphal entrance wearing our superheroes outfits, we wanted to impress you. We made and impression alright! I lost Dominick in there. Last time I saw him he was heading to a room with 2 redheads. We might need to organize a rescue mission. Where’s my brother?”
“Sleeping in her bedroom” Dawn tells him.
“Cool! So he’ll be in good mood. I need a loan, and some sleep” grabs a cookie and head upstairs.
“I need to send Tricia a text before I forget, she is probably already working out” I say.
‘FYI, You HAVE to kick Jack out’
‘? He proposed last night’
‘Though luck, he’s history’
“SHIT!” and she drops the mobile on the table like it just bit her “that’s, that’s, that’s …”
“In your own words”
She gets up and walks to me, placing her hands on my shoulders. We have been here before. Dawn trying to save me. “That is trouble. I don’t know him but you know it can be a major catastrophe. Do you think it is worth it?”
“How am I supposed to know? It is brand new and unexpected”
“Howard and Antigone. Have you thought about them? And the tabloids? If this thing gets out you’ll have paparazzi following you everywhere, can you imagine the headlines?”
“Thinking, it’s all I’m doing. We kissed yesterday and I didn’t feel the pain, can you imagine how I felt? No pain for few brief moments”
“Really? Did he really make you happy?”
“Happy does not describe it but it was close, I think. If you feel this is wrong I’ll end it. You tell me what to do. I trust you; it’s only because of you I’m standing in this kitchen today”
She smiles at me, “‘I think’ is more than I’ve ever hoped for. You give him a chance. I’ll take care of the rest. I’m here for you”
“Thank you” and we hug, “can’t tell Gary”
“You think? Can you picture him and Howard getting into a car and run your wonder boy over? Does Mark know?”
“Yes, he came by Robbie’s house yesterday”
“I’ll have a talk to him. I need my coffee and all the spicy details now.”
We sit at the table, when Glen enters the kitchen. We look at him “Morning Glenn, have you been told there’s no law in this country against personal hygiene?”
He looks smashed “I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”
“Blade Runner, it must be bad”
"Dominick and I went to the wrong party last night. He got the directions wrong, if you look up the word retarded in the dictionary you find his brainless face. We got to that mansion where there were approximately 2000 women who obviously hadn’t seen a man in a long time. We made a triumphal entrance wearing our superheroes outfits, we wanted to impress you. We made and impression alright! I lost Dominick in there. Last time I saw him he was heading to a room with 2 redheads. We might need to organize a rescue mission. Where’s my brother?”
“Sleeping in her bedroom” Dawn tells him.
“Cool! So he’ll be in good mood. I need a loan, and some sleep” grabs a cookie and head upstairs.
“I need to send Tricia a text before I forget, she is probably already working out” I say.
‘FYI, You HAVE to kick Jack out’
‘? He proposed last night’
‘Though luck, he’s history’
NOBODY 8
The following chapter contains adult scenes and is rated 15+ so if you are younger please do not read, or if you don't like this kind of thing you have been warned.
He walks me up the stairs and to my room. We’re silent. And my brain is trying to remember the words of the song Gary sings in their latest cd …
‘How did we lose our way?
It's hard to remember
All that we shared
Now we both have separate lives
From lovers to strangers, now alone
Tell me, How did we lose our way?’
His hand rests gently on my back, like he wants to make sure I can walk straight.
“That’s my door”
“Yes it is” his voice is low.
“I should go to bed; it has been a long day”
He nods while he’s running his hand across my back, rubbing it through my silk dress. He’s pulling me closer, wrapping his arms around me. His lips touch mine, tugging and pulling them and we share a long loving kiss. I break it for a moment; his eyes are closed so I breathe deep. He slowly opens them and looks at me. “I miss you” he says softly, moving his face close to mine again. “I’ve been missing you since…”
I picture Robbie in my mind but Howard is right in front of me, and he needs me and I need him. I shush him with a series of slow, soft kisses starting at his cheek and going towards his jaw. He exhales; my hands are loosely wrapped around him.
We are standing close to the door, when Howard shifts his weight, and he slowly pins me against it.
He starts a series of slow kisses, covering every inch of my face.
“I almost forgot how much I missed smelling you, and feeling you” he reaches my ears than moves towards my eyes, and finally back to my lips. I am pressing against him, not moving, simply enjoining having him so close to me.
He continues another long kiss, playing with my lips, periodically breaking it and starting a new one. When we realize there’s someone standing few inches away from us, staring. We look to our right. Jason in standing there, arms crossed. He has a bored look on his face. “The two of you are really getting on my nerves.” We look at him surprised. He sighs, and before we have the time to react takes Howard by his arm, moves him a little, reaches for the handle and opens the door, pushes both of us inside and slams it behind us. “There you go! I got you a room! You’ll thank me tomorrow! Nighty night” we hear him yelling.
“He’ll wake the kids up” I say
“I don’t care; he just became my best friend ever”
We simply stand there, looking at one another in the eyes. Howard closes them and brings his face towards my ear. “I want you” he whispers quietly. I slide my hands around his back; move them to his shoulders and to the back of his head and I wrap my lips around his. My hands move up and down on his back. I finally grab the bottom of his t-shirt, yanking on it, and tugging it up towards his shoulders. Howard doesn’t move his arms but keeps on holding me and kissing me. Maybe he’s not after sex after all; he just wants to be with me. He breaks the kiss, and simply holds me tight, resting his face next to mine. “Make love to me Howard” I am almost begging him.He slowly pulls back, so I can raise his t-shirt, and he slowly takes it off, letting it fall on the floor. I push him on the bed and he rests on his back, his bare chest press against me. I’m still fully clothed. His arms are wrapped around me, and he leans down again, passionately kissing me. I raise my legs, intertwining them around his, pulling him closer while maintaining our long kiss.I am on top and I lean back so I can grind myself against his crotch, and I slowly take off my dress, immediately followed by my bra, I don’t want to tease him. I am overcome by passion and lust. It has been so long since our last time together.I am about to lean forward once again when Howard sees my c-section scar. His eyes fill with tears and start caressing it with his left hand. He moves a finger up and down, following its line, like he could erase it with his movements. He pulls up his face and buries it in my belly. I hear him sobbing. “No baby no, no need to cry now, it’s us, please honey, I want you to love me tonight”. He looks back at me, amazed. I haven’t said something like this for a long long time. He slides his arms up and down across my back, tracing delicate lines across my skin. We kiss once again and he pushes his face up, returning my kisses with blinding lust and love. I am moving my hips up and down, grinding against his crotch. I briefly raise my body, and begin to unbutton his pants taking them off. I look at his body. He is hard and yearning to get out. I slowly pull his boxers off and toss them to the far corner of the room.Howard is lying in the center of the bed. He wants it bad, I know him. I slowly reach up, and put a soft, delicate hand around the base of his hard penis. I move my hand up, gently pulling at the skin while rubbing his glands with the other one. He moans and closes his eyes, enjoying the pleasure I’m giving him. I need him to forget about the pain. We will forget it for one night.I slowly lower my face to his penis, and I wrap my mouth around the tip. I swirl my tongue, up and down, and bob him briefly. I pull back, and I use my fingers to gently wet the rest his penis with my saliva."How do you want it?" I am calm and cool, I’m there for him.But Howard’s heart seems to skip a beat. He wants me to go up to him. “I don’t want a blowjob, I want you” he moans. I get up and straddling him around his stomach. My feet are by his sides, and I lean forward, I want him to understand I’m in control tonight. I’m really wet and I brush up against his stomach, he grunts and moans. His eyes are closed “look at me Howard” and our faces meet. He grabs me and pulls me closer so that my breast and body are pressing against his chest. I slowly slide down, until we are lined up. “Switch” he commands and he’s on top of me. "Howard," I whisper and I kiss him again. I can feel his erection between us and I can’t help but let out a soft moan muffled by his mouth still on mine. "Howard," I repeat “I need you inside me now”.He supports his weight on his elbows, and his hands are wrapped around underneath my body, holding and caressing me, and pulling me close. He lowers his face towards mine and I kiss him once again. I can feel his heart racing, he breathes heavy. He leans back, and he positions himself on his knees. He waits for a second, and looks at me. Our eyes lock showing emotions that no words can say and he slowly thrust his hips forward, and slides into me.He closes his eyes, unable to handle the flood of pleasure to his brain, and slowly withdraws and thrusts deeply again, his pubic bone hitting my clit. Each thrust send waves of pleasure through me. His eyes slowly open, and I reach up with my arms, pulling him down close. I lock my hands around him, running them up and down along his back, and holding him tightly. Howard continues to thrust slowly, rotating his hips slightly with each thrust, maximizing both our pleasure. His face is next to mine, and he turns kissing my cheek. His body moves rhythmically, periodically pulling out and in. Our bodies are locked, and we breathe in sync. I am letting out soft gasps with each thrust. My legs are wrapped around him, pulling him in faster on the thrust, and releasing him slowly. Howard keeps on thrusting when his face drops down between my face and my neck. I bury my mouth into his curls enjoying his sweaty smell, my legs wrapped around his. He stops moving and I start rotating my hips beginning to pleasure him slowly, without him thrusting. He turns his face so his mouth is by my ear “I love you” he whispers, and I cannot say anything in reply so I kiss him slowly on the cheek and on his lips.
He smiles and begins thrusting once again, I moan and he increases his pace, pushing in and out faster and harder. My fingernails are into his back. I can only say "Oh, fuck me, keep doing it like that", “My pleasure love” and continues his rapid pace.
Then he breaks the kiss. "I'm … getting close, Emilia are you?" he mutters. His voice is hoarse and raspy. I lean forward and shush him. "It doesn't matter," I say kissing him, "Just ... let it go... don't worry about me, this is about you." I kiss him again. His breathing is now heavy "I love you," he says deeply and slowly. I kiss him as if saying “I know”.
And Howard lets out a deep groan and comes. He slowly releases his grip on me, letting his arms loosen, but still holding me tight. I attempt to move, but he holds me. "You're not going anywhere," he says. I rest my head next to his, we are silent, and his breathing is peaceful now. I stroke his curls until he falls asleep, holding on to me like we are the last people on the face of the earth.
He walks me up the stairs and to my room. We’re silent. And my brain is trying to remember the words of the song Gary sings in their latest cd …
‘How did we lose our way?
It's hard to remember
All that we shared
Now we both have separate lives
From lovers to strangers, now alone
Tell me, How did we lose our way?’
His hand rests gently on my back, like he wants to make sure I can walk straight.
“That’s my door”
“Yes it is” his voice is low.
“I should go to bed; it has been a long day”
He nods while he’s running his hand across my back, rubbing it through my silk dress. He’s pulling me closer, wrapping his arms around me. His lips touch mine, tugging and pulling them and we share a long loving kiss. I break it for a moment; his eyes are closed so I breathe deep. He slowly opens them and looks at me. “I miss you” he says softly, moving his face close to mine again. “I’ve been missing you since…”
I picture Robbie in my mind but Howard is right in front of me, and he needs me and I need him. I shush him with a series of slow, soft kisses starting at his cheek and going towards his jaw. He exhales; my hands are loosely wrapped around him.
We are standing close to the door, when Howard shifts his weight, and he slowly pins me against it.
He starts a series of slow kisses, covering every inch of my face.
“I almost forgot how much I missed smelling you, and feeling you” he reaches my ears than moves towards my eyes, and finally back to my lips. I am pressing against him, not moving, simply enjoining having him so close to me.
He continues another long kiss, playing with my lips, periodically breaking it and starting a new one. When we realize there’s someone standing few inches away from us, staring. We look to our right. Jason in standing there, arms crossed. He has a bored look on his face. “The two of you are really getting on my nerves.” We look at him surprised. He sighs, and before we have the time to react takes Howard by his arm, moves him a little, reaches for the handle and opens the door, pushes both of us inside and slams it behind us. “There you go! I got you a room! You’ll thank me tomorrow! Nighty night” we hear him yelling.
“He’ll wake the kids up” I say
“I don’t care; he just became my best friend ever”
We simply stand there, looking at one another in the eyes. Howard closes them and brings his face towards my ear. “I want you” he whispers quietly. I slide my hands around his back; move them to his shoulders and to the back of his head and I wrap my lips around his. My hands move up and down on his back. I finally grab the bottom of his t-shirt, yanking on it, and tugging it up towards his shoulders. Howard doesn’t move his arms but keeps on holding me and kissing me. Maybe he’s not after sex after all; he just wants to be with me. He breaks the kiss, and simply holds me tight, resting his face next to mine. “Make love to me Howard” I am almost begging him.He slowly pulls back, so I can raise his t-shirt, and he slowly takes it off, letting it fall on the floor. I push him on the bed and he rests on his back, his bare chest press against me. I’m still fully clothed. His arms are wrapped around me, and he leans down again, passionately kissing me. I raise my legs, intertwining them around his, pulling him closer while maintaining our long kiss.I am on top and I lean back so I can grind myself against his crotch, and I slowly take off my dress, immediately followed by my bra, I don’t want to tease him. I am overcome by passion and lust. It has been so long since our last time together.I am about to lean forward once again when Howard sees my c-section scar. His eyes fill with tears and start caressing it with his left hand. He moves a finger up and down, following its line, like he could erase it with his movements. He pulls up his face and buries it in my belly. I hear him sobbing. “No baby no, no need to cry now, it’s us, please honey, I want you to love me tonight”. He looks back at me, amazed. I haven’t said something like this for a long long time. He slides his arms up and down across my back, tracing delicate lines across my skin. We kiss once again and he pushes his face up, returning my kisses with blinding lust and love. I am moving my hips up and down, grinding against his crotch. I briefly raise my body, and begin to unbutton his pants taking them off. I look at his body. He is hard and yearning to get out. I slowly pull his boxers off and toss them to the far corner of the room.Howard is lying in the center of the bed. He wants it bad, I know him. I slowly reach up, and put a soft, delicate hand around the base of his hard penis. I move my hand up, gently pulling at the skin while rubbing his glands with the other one. He moans and closes his eyes, enjoying the pleasure I’m giving him. I need him to forget about the pain. We will forget it for one night.I slowly lower my face to his penis, and I wrap my mouth around the tip. I swirl my tongue, up and down, and bob him briefly. I pull back, and I use my fingers to gently wet the rest his penis with my saliva."How do you want it?" I am calm and cool, I’m there for him.But Howard’s heart seems to skip a beat. He wants me to go up to him. “I don’t want a blowjob, I want you” he moans. I get up and straddling him around his stomach. My feet are by his sides, and I lean forward, I want him to understand I’m in control tonight. I’m really wet and I brush up against his stomach, he grunts and moans. His eyes are closed “look at me Howard” and our faces meet. He grabs me and pulls me closer so that my breast and body are pressing against his chest. I slowly slide down, until we are lined up. “Switch” he commands and he’s on top of me. "Howard," I whisper and I kiss him again. I can feel his erection between us and I can’t help but let out a soft moan muffled by his mouth still on mine. "Howard," I repeat “I need you inside me now”.He supports his weight on his elbows, and his hands are wrapped around underneath my body, holding and caressing me, and pulling me close. He lowers his face towards mine and I kiss him once again. I can feel his heart racing, he breathes heavy. He leans back, and he positions himself on his knees. He waits for a second, and looks at me. Our eyes lock showing emotions that no words can say and he slowly thrust his hips forward, and slides into me.He closes his eyes, unable to handle the flood of pleasure to his brain, and slowly withdraws and thrusts deeply again, his pubic bone hitting my clit. Each thrust send waves of pleasure through me. His eyes slowly open, and I reach up with my arms, pulling him down close. I lock my hands around him, running them up and down along his back, and holding him tightly. Howard continues to thrust slowly, rotating his hips slightly with each thrust, maximizing both our pleasure. His face is next to mine, and he turns kissing my cheek. His body moves rhythmically, periodically pulling out and in. Our bodies are locked, and we breathe in sync. I am letting out soft gasps with each thrust. My legs are wrapped around him, pulling him in faster on the thrust, and releasing him slowly. Howard keeps on thrusting when his face drops down between my face and my neck. I bury my mouth into his curls enjoying his sweaty smell, my legs wrapped around his. He stops moving and I start rotating my hips beginning to pleasure him slowly, without him thrusting. He turns his face so his mouth is by my ear “I love you” he whispers, and I cannot say anything in reply so I kiss him slowly on the cheek and on his lips.
He smiles and begins thrusting once again, I moan and he increases his pace, pushing in and out faster and harder. My fingernails are into his back. I can only say "Oh, fuck me, keep doing it like that", “My pleasure love” and continues his rapid pace.
Then he breaks the kiss. "I'm … getting close, Emilia are you?" he mutters. His voice is hoarse and raspy. I lean forward and shush him. "It doesn't matter," I say kissing him, "Just ... let it go... don't worry about me, this is about you." I kiss him again. His breathing is now heavy "I love you," he says deeply and slowly. I kiss him as if saying “I know”.
And Howard lets out a deep groan and comes. He slowly releases his grip on me, letting his arms loosen, but still holding me tight. I attempt to move, but he holds me. "You're not going anywhere," he says. I rest my head next to his, we are silent, and his breathing is peaceful now. I stroke his curls until he falls asleep, holding on to me like we are the last people on the face of the earth.
giovedì 28 giugno 2007
NOBODY 7
He takes large steps towards me and Dawn gets to the door “Maybe I should …”
“See you Dawn” Howard adds without stopping looking into my eyes.
“You stay away from me! I don’t have your present with me”
“I don’t believe you!” and he’s smiling at me, the smile which has one meaning only. He starts unbuttoning my shirt and I don’t really know how to stop him, or if I want to stop him. And I think of Robbie and I am officially confused.
He’s kissing my neck and if I don’t do something now I will lose control.
“I have something for you in my handbag. Let me grab it”
“I have all I need right at my fingertip” and he caresses my skin.
“No, really” I free myself and hand him an envelope.
“What is it?” he opens it and reads. “Fuck! It’s my birthday and you want me to sing the divorce papers?” and throws them on the bed.
“Howard it has been more than a year. It is about time”
“It has been 18 months and three bloody weeks, and I don’t think it’s time. I’m not ready to let you go”
“I left long ago. I’m sorry. You know I can’t. We discussed it. I’m so so sorry”. He’s mad, and sad and he knows there’s nothing he can do.
My mobile rings “do not answer”
It’s Robbie, I pick it up.
“I’m the king of bongo bong. You were supposed to call, and you left the king waiting. I feel like a teenager stood up the night of the prom”
“Sorry Tricia, cannot really talk right now, and Howard is really mad you couldn’t make it to the party”
“I need to talk to her” and tries to get the phone off my hand.
I move backwards “What did you say? Oh Tricia I’m so sorry it didn’t work out. I understand” I turn to him “She doesn’t feel like talking to you right now, Jack left her this morning”
“I am Robbie, please say my name”
Way too many balls in the air right now.
“Hold on just a second Tricia.”
Antigone starts banging on the door “Mummy, mummy! We’re starting a water gun fight. Do you wanna be in my team?”
“Honey, I can’t, I need to see if auntie Dawn needs my help. But I’m sure daddy would love to play with you”
He takes her into his arms “I’d love to, let’s go”
“Daddy are you sad?”
“No, I’m not sad baby. I just got something in my eye, but I’m sure I’ll be fine” and she hugs him tight, “Love you daddy”.
“I love you more” and they start wrestling on the bed. Right over my Armani dress.
“Stop the madness! The two of you, get out of my room”, I push them outside and close the door behind them.
“Sorry Robbie, but things are crazy around here. I meant to call you, I swear”
“I want to see you”
“I cannot sneak out. Howard is breathing down my neck”
“I don’t care. His problem. I want to see you. If you don’t come here I’ll come there. You choose.”
“I’ll call you back tomorrow and see what I can do”
“Or I’ll just stop buy and give my regards to the guys before kissing you again in front of everyone, do you think ‘long time no see’ could be a good opening line?”
“Robbie I cannot deal with you right now. My life is a mess”
“What did he do?”
“He did nothing it’s me, just me”
“I can help you, let me do it”
“I might. I’ll call you as soon as I know”
“I’ll be waiting”
“I hope so”.
We put the kids to bed and we have our adults-only-party.
By midnight we are pretty drunk. Mark decides to take a video of the event and I jump at the occasion of being a journalist. I grab a lollipop and pretend it’s a microphone. “Markie, ready? How do a look?”
“Drunk and petulant”
“Perfect! So ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our live coverage of Howard Donald’s birthday celebration! My name’s Emilia and I am embedded with the TT troops. Let’s introduce the nice people around me.” Howard takes me by my waist and makes me sit on his laps.
“Comfy?”
“Yes thanks. So, where was I? introductions. On my right the birthday boy. Everyone thinks he’s turning 39 but I am sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Donald here is technically three 10 years old kids and a 9 year old, all sharing the same hot body”
And he kisses my neck
“Hot hot hot, that’s what he is! A mean journalist wrote his only saving grace is that he’s not Jason Orange. But he was dead wrong. No offence Jay”
“Not taken” and starts throwing ice cubes at me.
“Jay stop it! It’s not my fault and by the way, since you cannot sing or play an instrument, could you please explain the whole wide world what do you do exactly in Take That?”
“Get read of obnoxious groupies, that’s my job” and starts tickling me.
“You stop now, we need to finish this thing. Mark tell him to stop”
“Tell him to stop” my director repeats.
“Am I the only pro around here? Anyway, it almost 1 o’clock, or what Jay calls the darkest hour. So we expect him to get all philosophical and boring. I think we need more drinks here! ... Dawn Barlow ladies and gentlemen! Me and Dawn go way back. We met for the first time in 1995 and after a week on tour she caught me sneaking out of Howard’s bedroom at 5 in the morning. And I told her”
Dawn finishes my sentence “Hello dancer lady! You did not see me, I’m not even here. Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don't look around my eyes, look into my eyes, you're under. Three, two, one... I’m not here anymore. She left and I stood there like an idiot. Believe me, she seemed totally normal during the day. Didn’t you used to dress Gary?”
He adds “Right, we found her a job so she could tour with us and be with Howard. We thought she could work with him but they were all over each other all the time and not even Nigel was that stupid. So she got stuck with tidying my laces. I love having women at my feet!”
We all laugh and drink some more.
“Guys we never told you we thought about creating our own girl band” Dawn is in her ‘sharing’ mood. They look at her “I’m serious, in 1995, November, we were in Berlin, or Munich or another German city. You had a TV gig and we felt lonely and got drunk and we had a brilliant idea, didn’t we Emilia?”
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that, I would sing and she would dance”
“And we had the best name ever! The only problem is it required the use of life size pictures.”
“Oh god, I don’t think I want to hear this” Gary looks helpless.
“I took that one – and I would show your picture and Emilia would go – and I took that one – showing Howie’s, but we definitely fancy that one too” and we are both pointing at Jason.
“I knew you wanted me bad laydees! I knew it” Jason is all happy now.
“It would have been perfect on a CD cover. Short and snappy” adds Mark.
“Break’s over! The lovely lady sitting there is Emily aka Foster. Brilliant writer. I can tell you for a fact because I discovered her. Her first book is a big best seller. I owe her my entire bonus. I named my new car after her. Her only fault? She’s dating the short man behind the camera… Have you realized how many Emzes we have here? That’s me, and you and little Emily, named after me, only in English, because Italian was way too hard …”
“Emily, love, you don’t really need to hang out with them, we can just see them at Christmas and Birthdays, and have a normal life” Mark tells her with a sweet voice.
“Emilia enough, I told you not to drink rum and coke. A couple of sips and you’re smashed. You need some fresh air. Put the lollipop down. Let’s go”
“Howard, my prince, my savior, what would I do without you? But this is not a lollipop, it’s a microphone.”
Mark gets closer still holding the video camera “So sweet, so for the record, you have been together for so long dinosaurs were still running freely in Hyde Park, Emilia, what song do you think best describes your love story with the birthday man?”
I brush his curls off his face with my fingers. “In spite of all we have been through? You are my destiny by Lionel Ritchie”
“Impressive, commercial and easy listening, what about you Dougie?”
He thinks about it, he’s deadly serious and answers “Every breath you take by the Police”.
They all freeze, “You are psycho, it is a horrible song” I say.
“The word you’re looking for is psychic”
“No you’re psycho, believe me, and you need to sign the divorce papers”
“I’m psychic because I know exactly what you’re thinking right now and I am not signing the bloody papers” and his hand moves gently under my dress and on my thigh “wanna bet?”
If I could just stop enjoying his touch so much I think I might bet but he doesn’t give me the time. “Let’s go, you need some fresh air”.
He takes my arm and we exit the room.
“See you Dawn” Howard adds without stopping looking into my eyes.
“You stay away from me! I don’t have your present with me”
“I don’t believe you!” and he’s smiling at me, the smile which has one meaning only. He starts unbuttoning my shirt and I don’t really know how to stop him, or if I want to stop him. And I think of Robbie and I am officially confused.
He’s kissing my neck and if I don’t do something now I will lose control.
“I have something for you in my handbag. Let me grab it”
“I have all I need right at my fingertip” and he caresses my skin.
“No, really” I free myself and hand him an envelope.
“What is it?” he opens it and reads. “Fuck! It’s my birthday and you want me to sing the divorce papers?” and throws them on the bed.
“Howard it has been more than a year. It is about time”
“It has been 18 months and three bloody weeks, and I don’t think it’s time. I’m not ready to let you go”
“I left long ago. I’m sorry. You know I can’t. We discussed it. I’m so so sorry”. He’s mad, and sad and he knows there’s nothing he can do.
My mobile rings “do not answer”
It’s Robbie, I pick it up.
“I’m the king of bongo bong. You were supposed to call, and you left the king waiting. I feel like a teenager stood up the night of the prom”
“Sorry Tricia, cannot really talk right now, and Howard is really mad you couldn’t make it to the party”
“I need to talk to her” and tries to get the phone off my hand.
I move backwards “What did you say? Oh Tricia I’m so sorry it didn’t work out. I understand” I turn to him “She doesn’t feel like talking to you right now, Jack left her this morning”
“I am Robbie, please say my name”
Way too many balls in the air right now.
“Hold on just a second Tricia.”
Antigone starts banging on the door “Mummy, mummy! We’re starting a water gun fight. Do you wanna be in my team?”
“Honey, I can’t, I need to see if auntie Dawn needs my help. But I’m sure daddy would love to play with you”
He takes her into his arms “I’d love to, let’s go”
“Daddy are you sad?”
“No, I’m not sad baby. I just got something in my eye, but I’m sure I’ll be fine” and she hugs him tight, “Love you daddy”.
“I love you more” and they start wrestling on the bed. Right over my Armani dress.
“Stop the madness! The two of you, get out of my room”, I push them outside and close the door behind them.
“Sorry Robbie, but things are crazy around here. I meant to call you, I swear”
“I want to see you”
“I cannot sneak out. Howard is breathing down my neck”
“I don’t care. His problem. I want to see you. If you don’t come here I’ll come there. You choose.”
“I’ll call you back tomorrow and see what I can do”
“Or I’ll just stop buy and give my regards to the guys before kissing you again in front of everyone, do you think ‘long time no see’ could be a good opening line?”
“Robbie I cannot deal with you right now. My life is a mess”
“What did he do?”
“He did nothing it’s me, just me”
“I can help you, let me do it”
“I might. I’ll call you as soon as I know”
“I’ll be waiting”
“I hope so”.
We put the kids to bed and we have our adults-only-party.
By midnight we are pretty drunk. Mark decides to take a video of the event and I jump at the occasion of being a journalist. I grab a lollipop and pretend it’s a microphone. “Markie, ready? How do a look?”
“Drunk and petulant”
“Perfect! So ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our live coverage of Howard Donald’s birthday celebration! My name’s Emilia and I am embedded with the TT troops. Let’s introduce the nice people around me.” Howard takes me by my waist and makes me sit on his laps.
“Comfy?”
“Yes thanks. So, where was I? introductions. On my right the birthday boy. Everyone thinks he’s turning 39 but I am sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Donald here is technically three 10 years old kids and a 9 year old, all sharing the same hot body”
And he kisses my neck
“Hot hot hot, that’s what he is! A mean journalist wrote his only saving grace is that he’s not Jason Orange. But he was dead wrong. No offence Jay”
“Not taken” and starts throwing ice cubes at me.
“Jay stop it! It’s not my fault and by the way, since you cannot sing or play an instrument, could you please explain the whole wide world what do you do exactly in Take That?”
“Get read of obnoxious groupies, that’s my job” and starts tickling me.
“You stop now, we need to finish this thing. Mark tell him to stop”
“Tell him to stop” my director repeats.
“Am I the only pro around here? Anyway, it almost 1 o’clock, or what Jay calls the darkest hour. So we expect him to get all philosophical and boring. I think we need more drinks here! ... Dawn Barlow ladies and gentlemen! Me and Dawn go way back. We met for the first time in 1995 and after a week on tour she caught me sneaking out of Howard’s bedroom at 5 in the morning. And I told her”
Dawn finishes my sentence “Hello dancer lady! You did not see me, I’m not even here. Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don't look around my eyes, look into my eyes, you're under. Three, two, one... I’m not here anymore. She left and I stood there like an idiot. Believe me, she seemed totally normal during the day. Didn’t you used to dress Gary?”
He adds “Right, we found her a job so she could tour with us and be with Howard. We thought she could work with him but they were all over each other all the time and not even Nigel was that stupid. So she got stuck with tidying my laces. I love having women at my feet!”
We all laugh and drink some more.
“Guys we never told you we thought about creating our own girl band” Dawn is in her ‘sharing’ mood. They look at her “I’m serious, in 1995, November, we were in Berlin, or Munich or another German city. You had a TV gig and we felt lonely and got drunk and we had a brilliant idea, didn’t we Emilia?”
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that, I would sing and she would dance”
“And we had the best name ever! The only problem is it required the use of life size pictures.”
“Oh god, I don’t think I want to hear this” Gary looks helpless.
“I took that one – and I would show your picture and Emilia would go – and I took that one – showing Howie’s, but we definitely fancy that one too” and we are both pointing at Jason.
“I knew you wanted me bad laydees! I knew it” Jason is all happy now.
“It would have been perfect on a CD cover. Short and snappy” adds Mark.
“Break’s over! The lovely lady sitting there is Emily aka Foster. Brilliant writer. I can tell you for a fact because I discovered her. Her first book is a big best seller. I owe her my entire bonus. I named my new car after her. Her only fault? She’s dating the short man behind the camera… Have you realized how many Emzes we have here? That’s me, and you and little Emily, named after me, only in English, because Italian was way too hard …”
“Emily, love, you don’t really need to hang out with them, we can just see them at Christmas and Birthdays, and have a normal life” Mark tells her with a sweet voice.
“Emilia enough, I told you not to drink rum and coke. A couple of sips and you’re smashed. You need some fresh air. Put the lollipop down. Let’s go”
“Howard, my prince, my savior, what would I do without you? But this is not a lollipop, it’s a microphone.”
Mark gets closer still holding the video camera “So sweet, so for the record, you have been together for so long dinosaurs were still running freely in Hyde Park, Emilia, what song do you think best describes your love story with the birthday man?”
I brush his curls off his face with my fingers. “In spite of all we have been through? You are my destiny by Lionel Ritchie”
“Impressive, commercial and easy listening, what about you Dougie?”
He thinks about it, he’s deadly serious and answers “Every breath you take by the Police”.
They all freeze, “You are psycho, it is a horrible song” I say.
“The word you’re looking for is psychic”
“No you’re psycho, believe me, and you need to sign the divorce papers”
“I’m psychic because I know exactly what you’re thinking right now and I am not signing the bloody papers” and his hand moves gently under my dress and on my thigh “wanna bet?”
If I could just stop enjoying his touch so much I think I might bet but he doesn’t give me the time. “Let’s go, you need some fresh air”.
He takes my arm and we exit the room.
NOBODY 6
Emily opens the door. “Markie, love, you were able to go into town and back in less than 2 hours. I’m impressed!” and she sees me “Oh, that’s why, you were pushing the Mercedes so to break the 20 miles an hour rule!” and she kisses me first and hugs Mark tight.
“The two of you are so cute together, but when you come back to your senses let me know and I’ll fix you up with a decent man”
“Don’t you think about it! I’m a keeper”.
“A slow one. And since you are my boss I am glad to announce I wrote another book”
“Really? I didn’t know anything about a new one”
“Writers! There’s no stopping genius! We got inspiration out of the most random situations. We left London at 8 this morning. By noon we were in Stratford. I just wanted to kill myself. I got so bored I took my laptop and started writing. It’s an adventure book. It’s called ‘Markie and the discovery of the third gear’”
“The two of you together are a deadly combination” he protests but before he can add anything else we hear a primal scream coming from the garden “FOOD FIGHT” and we see Howard running like a mad man and chasing the kids around throwing M&Ms at them.
Little Emily manages to open the door so she enters the house followed by Daniel, Antigone and a bunch of other kids.
“They look like a swarm of locusts; don’t they remind you of a biblical plague?” Emily comments.
“Not a big fun of the little people? Don’t worry; I was just like you before having Antigone. There’s no fighting this thing, you will be one of us”
“Not planning on joining the motherly side any time soon”, but by the way Mark is looking at her I think we might be in for some big surprise soon.
Howard jumps right by me taking me into his arms “You made it! It was about time! Need help to get rid of the evil midgets”. The kids are all hiding under the table giggling “have you seen them?” and looks around him.
“No I haven’t, put me down”
“Where’s my present?”“I don’t have a present. Me being here is your present”
“I am the birthday giant! Me want present!” and he turns towards the table “The giant does not have his present and he is hungry. Needs tender flesh, maybe midget flesh” and dive under the table grabbing 4 of the kids.
“Mummy help!” they are all laughing so much. The kids don’t stand a chance against him but Markie comes to their rescue and they literally ‘bury’ Howard in silly strings.
He’s on the floor “Noooooooo, Emilia, please…… they got … me ... Evil…. Midget … no birthday cake … for you” and fakes a very dramatic death.
Dawn decides it is time to take control “kids, go play outside, snacks are ready, Howard, I would like to remind you you’re turning 39 today. Emilia, I’m so glad you’re here. This place is a mess. Gary and Howard are the worst of all of them”
“Don’t look at me. I’ll just go up to my room and unpack. I’ll see you in 5 minutes. You can spank him if it’ll make you feel any better”.
“Gary would not like it … I guess … maybe it’s worth … asking … what you think?” and she’s looking at him like he’s a nice roasted turkey on Thanksgiving Day.
Howard is still on the floor, covered in colorful silly strings, opens one eye and says “I’m not really dead you know? I can hear you, and my arse is mine to give away, and you are too blond for my taste”
“Dawn he doesn’t deserve you. Come up with me, I might use some company”
I close the door and put the bag on the bed.
“What’s going on? You have your guilty look and Mark was staring at you downstairs. What happened?”
“It’s complicated”
“We survived the 'Nobody Else' tour together, try me”
“I have this friend…”
“A friend”
“No, you’re right, she has a name. Let’s just say that Sue Storm …”
“As in Fantastic Four”
“Her. So let’s say Sue Storm finds herself in a total unexpected situation and kisses the Human Torch. Would it be so bad?”
“You kissed Mark?”
“I said Human Torch not Dopey. And no, I would not kiss Mark or Gary if it matters. Focus Dawn, would it be bad?”
“As long as it is not my husband and Howard doesn’t know, I think you should do whatever makes you feel good”
“What is that Howard doesn’t know?” and he enters the room.
….
“Your present, you don’t have to find out about your present yet” Dawn is the best.
“We’ll see” and he empties the content of my bag over the bed. He sees no sign of wrapping or anything remotely connected to a present. Looks at me, not ready to give up, “Where is my present?”
“Not there” and I look at the mess he did.
He smirks, “Body search!”
“The two of you are so cute together, but when you come back to your senses let me know and I’ll fix you up with a decent man”
“Don’t you think about it! I’m a keeper”.
“A slow one. And since you are my boss I am glad to announce I wrote another book”
“Really? I didn’t know anything about a new one”
“Writers! There’s no stopping genius! We got inspiration out of the most random situations. We left London at 8 this morning. By noon we were in Stratford. I just wanted to kill myself. I got so bored I took my laptop and started writing. It’s an adventure book. It’s called ‘Markie and the discovery of the third gear’”
“The two of you together are a deadly combination” he protests but before he can add anything else we hear a primal scream coming from the garden “FOOD FIGHT” and we see Howard running like a mad man and chasing the kids around throwing M&Ms at them.
Little Emily manages to open the door so she enters the house followed by Daniel, Antigone and a bunch of other kids.
“They look like a swarm of locusts; don’t they remind you of a biblical plague?” Emily comments.
“Not a big fun of the little people? Don’t worry; I was just like you before having Antigone. There’s no fighting this thing, you will be one of us”
“Not planning on joining the motherly side any time soon”, but by the way Mark is looking at her I think we might be in for some big surprise soon.
Howard jumps right by me taking me into his arms “You made it! It was about time! Need help to get rid of the evil midgets”. The kids are all hiding under the table giggling “have you seen them?” and looks around him.
“No I haven’t, put me down”
“Where’s my present?”“I don’t have a present. Me being here is your present”
“I am the birthday giant! Me want present!” and he turns towards the table “The giant does not have his present and he is hungry. Needs tender flesh, maybe midget flesh” and dive under the table grabbing 4 of the kids.
“Mummy help!” they are all laughing so much. The kids don’t stand a chance against him but Markie comes to their rescue and they literally ‘bury’ Howard in silly strings.
He’s on the floor “Noooooooo, Emilia, please…… they got … me ... Evil…. Midget … no birthday cake … for you” and fakes a very dramatic death.
Dawn decides it is time to take control “kids, go play outside, snacks are ready, Howard, I would like to remind you you’re turning 39 today. Emilia, I’m so glad you’re here. This place is a mess. Gary and Howard are the worst of all of them”
“Don’t look at me. I’ll just go up to my room and unpack. I’ll see you in 5 minutes. You can spank him if it’ll make you feel any better”.
“Gary would not like it … I guess … maybe it’s worth … asking … what you think?” and she’s looking at him like he’s a nice roasted turkey on Thanksgiving Day.
Howard is still on the floor, covered in colorful silly strings, opens one eye and says “I’m not really dead you know? I can hear you, and my arse is mine to give away, and you are too blond for my taste”
“Dawn he doesn’t deserve you. Come up with me, I might use some company”
I close the door and put the bag on the bed.
“What’s going on? You have your guilty look and Mark was staring at you downstairs. What happened?”
“It’s complicated”
“We survived the 'Nobody Else' tour together, try me”
“I have this friend…”
“A friend”
“No, you’re right, she has a name. Let’s just say that Sue Storm …”
“As in Fantastic Four”
“Her. So let’s say Sue Storm finds herself in a total unexpected situation and kisses the Human Torch. Would it be so bad?”
“You kissed Mark?”
“I said Human Torch not Dopey. And no, I would not kiss Mark or Gary if it matters. Focus Dawn, would it be bad?”
“As long as it is not my husband and Howard doesn’t know, I think you should do whatever makes you feel good”
“What is that Howard doesn’t know?” and he enters the room.
….
“Your present, you don’t have to find out about your present yet” Dawn is the best.
“We’ll see” and he empties the content of my bag over the bed. He sees no sign of wrapping or anything remotely connected to a present. Looks at me, not ready to give up, “Where is my present?”
“Not there” and I look at the mess he did.
He smirks, “Body search!”
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