NOBODY 14

“Could we have a normal dinner, like regular people do everyday?” *why am I talking? They’re not listening to a word I say*.
“This is serious stuff. I cannot risk that a year from now she’ll sell the tabloids the story on the night she beat Robbi” I kick his shin under the table “OUCH, that hurts” and start jumping all over the kitchen “why did you do that? Why? I have a tour to plan! People depend on me!”
I’m perfectly calm “were you saying Robert Fitzgerald from the NY office?”
He sits down; he keeps rubbing his leg. He’s in pain but plays the tough-guy role “right, she might say she beat Robert from the NY office in a scoop-and-shovel pea tournament”
“Let her eat her veggies, I beg of you”
He turns his attention to Antigone, who’s sitting arms crossed, “Let me see how many do you have in your fork, no cheating young lady … ahahhahahahhaha only 9, 9 small green miserable peas! I had 13, I win! YES!”
“She’s 5, give her a break”
“No one gave me a break when I was her age, life is though! She lost” looks at her with a smirk in his face and makes an ‘L’ using his thumb and index finger “loser!”
The scene is surreal, “mum could you please excuse me?”
“Of course honey”
She stands up; gets closer to Robbie and whispers in his ear making sure I cannot hear her “I know you like my mom, but she likes me better and if I don’t like you she won’t like you, who’s the loser now?”
And goes back to her chair.
“What did she say?”
He swallows “she is not 5, I don’t care what you say, she cannot be 5.” And turns to her, “Let me see it again. It is true you only have 9 peas on your fork, but to be fair they are big peas, so I guess you win”
“That’s what I thought. I wan mommy! I wan!”

I finally put her in bed. “Sorry it took me so long but she was over-excited, wonder why”
Robbie is placing some leftovers in the fridge. “I had a great time”
“She had too. Thanks. So you stayed with her for 3 hours but I gave you dinner, so I guess 25 pounds is a fare wage” and I take a bill from my purse.
“25? We drove all the way the Pinewood; the hairdresser alone was a 100 right there”
“Are you trying to say I owe you money?”
“Yes but you can pay me with love money”
“Besides you, who else lives in that imaginary world of yours?”
“I’m all alone, but I hope you’ll move in soon”, takes my hands and pulls me towards him “I’ve missed you very much and it doesn’t happen often, let me tell you’
And kisses me. I stroke his hair and he keeps on kissing me “I need to breathe Robbie”
“Can’t stop” and he slowly continues to kiss downward, maintaining his slow speed. He lingers around my neck, making sure he doesn’t miss a spot.
It feels so good. When I’m with him it’s like going back in time, to the early ‘90s, when we were younger, and full of hopes and I was very much in love. None of our demons were hunting us then and I don’t care if it’s wrong, I’m just seizing the moment. I move my hand down his jeans and reach his crotch caressing it “happy to see me?”
“Don’t tease, I warn you”
“Hu, hu, I’m so scared” and move my hand up and down, slowly“Enough” he grunts and has me seated on the kitchen table, looks at me in the eyes “Lesson number one, in Robbie-land lingerie is a waste of time and money”.


Robbie is talking on the phone, “Hi mate! How’s Spain?”
“Hi Robbie, it’s fantastic … how do you know I’m in Spain? … Oh shit … Did you see her?”
“You can call it that” and laughs
“I don’t wanna know”
“You’re my friend, you have to know, I’m dying to tell you all about it”
“I’m everybody’s friend, that is the problem. Leave me out of it”
“What if we were meant to be together and we didn’t see it the first time around? I don’t think I ever been this happy”
“Are you serious? Robbie you need to slow down. You are reaching new levels of denial and it can be dangerous you know. We have been there before. You are not good at managing crisis; you’ve been out of rehab for like 5 minutes. You need to stop it right there. I’m telling you for your own good”
“I don’t wanna hear. You should support me. And besides I have to go, I need to pick Antigone up. I’m babysitting now. Monday it was Shakespeare, and Pinewood, yesterday I had Hamley’s closing down to the public so we could do some decent shopping. I still have to come up with a good idea today. Do you think she would like horseback riding? I hope so ‘cause I bought her a pony”
“Emilia is letting you taking care of Umpa Lumpa?”
“We’re experiencing a nanny emergency”“WE? Robbie there is no ‘we’. There’s already a ‘we’ and it’s Emilia and Howard. You do not fit in the picture; the sooner you understand it the better it is. There are so many things you don’t know”
“I know about James”
“She said his name?”
“Yes. And I’m still here. I’m telling you this is different. If I play my cards right I could convince her to move to LA. We could live happily ever after, the three of us”
“They are not your family and Antigone has a father already. Don’t mess up with her, she’s only 5”
“I’m not messing up with her. I think I felt in love with both of them, I want them, but for a change it has nothing to do with kinky sex”
“Robbie I have to go now, we’ll talk about it when I get back, just be careful, promise me”
“Yes daddy”
Howard sits by Mark on the sand. “What’s up? You look worried. Bad news from home?”“Yes Doug. There’s something going on and I don’t know what to do”
“Can I help you?”
“If you’d know there is something going on behind a friend’s back. Something that could potentially destroy him, would you tell him?”
Howard thinks about it, “absolutely. That’s what friends are for. He has the right to know and you should be there for him to pick up the pieces”
Mark looks at him, he’s becoming increasingly nervous. Howard adds “Unless it is about me. I don’t want to know. I’m living in my denial universe and it is cozy” and laughs, “Let’s go throw Gaz into the water!” and literally drags Mark along.

Traffic is crazy, I’m about to yell at the lady torpedoing in front of me in a ridiculous purple car when my mobile rings.
“Are you on your way?”
“Robbie I told you, I cannot see you today. I’m picking up Antigone at school and then Howard at the airport”
“Have you heard about the magic of public transportation? The tube takes you right into town from Heathrow. I could even buy him the ticket”
“You are not telling me what to do, are you?”
“I don’t want you to see ‘He who must not be named’. Send a car, stay with me”
“I’m going because we always pick each other up at the airport. It’s a family tradition”
“I thought you were getting a divorce”
“I am but I want to do this and I am about to hang up because you’re upsetting me. We’ve seen each other for a few days and you already feel entitled to tell me what to do. That is a no way road Robbie, I’m warning you.”
“I thought it was a little more than ‘seeing’ and I think I should be able to speak my mind, I cannot do it with many people you know? … Spend the week-end with me. You and me, alone for 3 days”
I think about it
“So?”“I guess I could do it. Antigone is spending it with her father. But no one has to know, you haven’t talked to Mark have you?”
“Of course not. We’re England’s best kept secret”
“I’ll call you tomorrow”
“What about tonight?”
“I’ll probably have dinner with Howard”
“‘He who must not be named’” he corrects me.
“You are being unfair and I’m tired of your constant moaning about him”
“Honestly, I don’t give a shit. And let me tell you. It would help if you could just stop talking about him for 5 bloody minutes.” And hangs up.
*Our first fight, and on the phone, the day can only get better*