I’m singing “I want Candy” while I’m trying to decide what to bring along, the only things Robbie mentioned were ‘French Riviera’ and ‘ultimate fantasy”. I guess it means a phrasebook and no clothing.
I’m also trying to come up with a decent dance routing to go with Mel C’s song and all of the sudden I can see Howard sitting in the bed pissing himself laughing “OH MY GOD! What are you doing? You just gave the word ‘dance’ a brand new range of meanings. You look like a duck having a seizure”. And he was right. Sad but true.
The bag is by the bed, empty still. I suck at packing. I really do, when I hear the door bell!
I run down the stairs yelling “I’m coming! Whoever you are I hope you’re the packing fairy, I need one!”
I open the door and Jason is standing right there
“Ciao Emz” and bows “I’m offering you this humble package containing my friendship and a new herbal tea I discovered in Spain”
“Good to see you! Come on in and I’ll put the kettle on”
We’re in the kitchen and he’s paying way too much attention at my dying basil plant.
“They need water to survive. Don’t they teach you things in that sunny country of yours?”
“Jason is there something you want to tell me?”
“I want you to go back in time and remember all the sleepless night the two of us spent talking about life, world famine, politics and how overrated lycra is”
“How could I forget? Without you I hadn’t probably even finished university and today I would be poor and bored”
“So, as a friend I think I need to tell you I had dinner at Howard’s last night”
“I see”
“Well, we got drunk on Tuesday night and we solemnly swore tall people should stick together. Mark was so smashed he wanted to be a member of our club he begged a woman in the bar to sell him her high heels shoes. He started trampling around saying ‘I’m tall, I’m a giant’…. The next morning he came down saying he dreamt about running away with the milkman” He rolls his eyes “I decided to have a philosophical approach to all that. It is going to be another interesting chapter in the book I’m writing, ‘I can’t take that any more’.”
“Sounds fun, would you sign a contract right now, I really want to publish it”
“Off topic. He needed someone to talk too… Venturing on thin ice is dangerous”
“Is that the subtitle?”
“I’m talking about you”
“I don’t know what you mean”
“You should give me some credit. You come back from your business trip to LA, next thing I know there’s an almost funny Robert on stage, all of the sudden Mark wears his ‘I feel so guilty I can’t breathe’ face. I took me 10 good minutes to put two and two together. Antigone last night simply confirmed my suspects. The only Robert I know so mental to take a 5 years old to Pinewood to choose a princess dress would be Mr. Robbie-low-profile-Williams.”
I cover my eyes with my hands
“We were watching the news last night, there was a segment on Brit pop. I managed to switch it off before Antigone saw him on TV. Can you picture the scene now? She would have said ‘Daddy, that is the funny Robert mammy entrusted my safety with!”
“Jay I need time”
“Honestly?” and counts using his fingers “I already know, Mark knows, and Dawn knows by default. If you haven’t told Tricia or Emily there are basically only 4 people in our circle of close friends who are in the dark. And one of them is your husband. FYI he is not signing the papers. I guess time is a luxury you cannot afford”
“You need to help me. I just need few more days. I want to understand what is going on. When I come back from Italy I’ll talk to Howard, no matter what I decide to do he has the right to know.”
“You should not worry about me. I won’t tell him. Mark on the other side is about to explode. You know him. He sucks at mind games and I fear he has way too many information to deal with . And YUK to you young lady. If we believed in reincarnation, you could only hope to come back on this earth as a fridge magnet”
“He’s changed”
“Of course he is. Why wouldn’t he?”
“He really cares about Antigone and me”
“He has the attention span of a squirrel. He’ll get bored soon”
“Maybe you’re wrong”
“Maybe am not. I’ll drink the tea another time.” and he walks towards the door “You need pack. And I have a message for Robbie, tell him to write his will. Legal battles among presumptive heirs are so ‘90s.”
I’m also trying to come up with a decent dance routing to go with Mel C’s song and all of the sudden I can see Howard sitting in the bed pissing himself laughing “OH MY GOD! What are you doing? You just gave the word ‘dance’ a brand new range of meanings. You look like a duck having a seizure”. And he was right. Sad but true.
The bag is by the bed, empty still. I suck at packing. I really do, when I hear the door bell!
I run down the stairs yelling “I’m coming! Whoever you are I hope you’re the packing fairy, I need one!”
I open the door and Jason is standing right there
“Ciao Emz” and bows “I’m offering you this humble package containing my friendship and a new herbal tea I discovered in Spain”
“Good to see you! Come on in and I’ll put the kettle on”
We’re in the kitchen and he’s paying way too much attention at my dying basil plant.
“They need water to survive. Don’t they teach you things in that sunny country of yours?”
“Jason is there something you want to tell me?”
“I want you to go back in time and remember all the sleepless night the two of us spent talking about life, world famine, politics and how overrated lycra is”
“How could I forget? Without you I hadn’t probably even finished university and today I would be poor and bored”
“So, as a friend I think I need to tell you I had dinner at Howard’s last night”
“I see”
“Well, we got drunk on Tuesday night and we solemnly swore tall people should stick together. Mark was so smashed he wanted to be a member of our club he begged a woman in the bar to sell him her high heels shoes. He started trampling around saying ‘I’m tall, I’m a giant’…. The next morning he came down saying he dreamt about running away with the milkman” He rolls his eyes “I decided to have a philosophical approach to all that. It is going to be another interesting chapter in the book I’m writing, ‘I can’t take that any more’.”
“Sounds fun, would you sign a contract right now, I really want to publish it”
“Off topic. He needed someone to talk too… Venturing on thin ice is dangerous”
“Is that the subtitle?”
“I’m talking about you”
“I don’t know what you mean”
“You should give me some credit. You come back from your business trip to LA, next thing I know there’s an almost funny Robert on stage, all of the sudden Mark wears his ‘I feel so guilty I can’t breathe’ face. I took me 10 good minutes to put two and two together. Antigone last night simply confirmed my suspects. The only Robert I know so mental to take a 5 years old to Pinewood to choose a princess dress would be Mr. Robbie-low-profile-Williams.”
I cover my eyes with my hands
“We were watching the news last night, there was a segment on Brit pop. I managed to switch it off before Antigone saw him on TV. Can you picture the scene now? She would have said ‘Daddy, that is the funny Robert mammy entrusted my safety with!”
“Jay I need time”
“Honestly?” and counts using his fingers “I already know, Mark knows, and Dawn knows by default. If you haven’t told Tricia or Emily there are basically only 4 people in our circle of close friends who are in the dark. And one of them is your husband. FYI he is not signing the papers. I guess time is a luxury you cannot afford”
“You need to help me. I just need few more days. I want to understand what is going on. When I come back from Italy I’ll talk to Howard, no matter what I decide to do he has the right to know.”
“You should not worry about me. I won’t tell him. Mark on the other side is about to explode. You know him. He sucks at mind games and I fear he has way too many information to deal with . And YUK to you young lady. If we believed in reincarnation, you could only hope to come back on this earth as a fridge magnet”
“He’s changed”
“Of course he is. Why wouldn’t he?”
“He really cares about Antigone and me”
“He has the attention span of a squirrel. He’ll get bored soon”
“Maybe you’re wrong”
“Maybe am not. I’ll drink the tea another time.” and he walks towards the door “You need pack. And I have a message for Robbie, tell him to write his will. Legal battles among presumptive heirs are so ‘90s.”
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