Panic in my eyes. Panic in my voice. Panic in my gestures. He looks at me amused. “Stay calm, I’ll take care of him. It’s not like we’re doing something wrong, aren’t we?” kisses my cheek and licks his lips.
I pay no attention, “You don’t understand, there’s this thing … too hard to explain. Trust me, he cannot see me in here with you”
“Calm down. I’m the king of white lies. I could be at her Majesty’s service. I’ll be right back” and leaves the kitchen.
I stuck my ear on the door so I can hear what is going on in the living room.
“Markie mate! So good to see you!”
“If you’re so happy why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?”
“I was going to, cross my heart. Who did you know …?”“Your mum met my mum”
“Sometimes I just wish I had been raised by wolves, don’t you?”
“Yeah! Don’t you wanna know what I’m doing up north?”
“Doug’s birthday”
*Robbie you are an idiot! MI5 my ass. Robbie focus, you need to come up with a good explanation*
But he doesn’t need to, Mark offers him the best way out. “You remember the date of Doug’s birthday? Wow, that’s impressive, I didn’t know you still care so much”
“You know me, I’m over-romantic”
*good Robbie, you’re doing just fine, now don’t screw up*
Robbie stares at Mark who seems to be thinking about something.
“Why is Emilia’s car parked in front of your mum’s house?”
“It’s not”
“Do you know her car?”
“No I don’t”
“So how do you know it’s not hers?”
*we are doomed … we’re Austin Powers without the funny side*
“I don’t but I can tell you she’s not here, so I guess that settles the matter. Why would she be here?”
“Right, I’m sorry, you haven’t seen her in what, 15 years now?” He looks at his watch “I gotta go. I’m on a mission. We run out of silly strings. I left Doug besieged by the offspring. You can tell we are getting old; he invited more kids than chicks. I’ve already been called the slowest driver alive; they’ll think I lost my way back home”
“We could get together tomorrow”
“Sure and I’ll take Emily too. She is fantastic and I want you to meet her”
“Markie is in luuuuvvveeeeeeeeeeee” Robbie says in a very mocking tone.
“Yes I am and it’s fantastic”
“I bet. See you tomorrow mate”.
I hear a door open and close and Robbie walks back into the kitchen. He looks at me and he seems really happy with his performance. “See? I’m a pro. I can fool anyone anytime. You on the other hand. Parking the car right in front of the house. Didn’t you watch the last James Bond movie? That is basic stuff. I will have to give you extra classes”. He gives me a very disappointed look “I was saving your sexy ass and you were busy wiping your face. It’s a good thing I’m here because you did a lousy job” and he walks towards me, slowly, looking at me right in the eyes and I feel butterflies in my stomach. *what’s going on, this is Robbie, just Robbie, little Robbie, the one I used to make fun of*. He’s only few inches away from me “you missed a crumb right there” and he gently places his lips on the corner of my mouth. We stay still for a couple of seconds when I feel is tongue licking an imaginary piece of chocolate. *What am I doing? Robbie has never been my type* I bet he knows what I’m thinking because he smiles and softly bites my lower lip searching for access. I gasp and part my lips so he can plunge his tongue into my mouth. I hear him moaning as he kiss between us deepens. I feel his arms going around my waist while his thumbs are rubbing my naked skin under the shirt. I don’t know what to do, or at least I think I don’t because I realize my hands are holding on to his belt. And I kiss him back deeper and deeper.
And the bell rings again.
I break our kiss and I look into his eyes *this is major bad* “What the hell just happened?” I say trying to catch my breath.
"I don’t know, but I'd sure like to find out. I am not expecting anyone and I have 15 years and one week to catch up” and kisses me again.
“Robbie, it’s Mark again, do you want me to answer?” that is his mum yelling now.
We part, “I’ll take it mum! … I kill Mark and I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere”
“I don’t think I can move my legs”
He smiles “Good, but you might wanna consider let go of my belt. I cannot go to the door dragging you along”
“I’m sorry” and I rub his chest. “I’ll be good I promise”
He looks into my eyes and I know he can see how much I want him.
“Robbieeeeeeee, the door!” Jan yells again.
He laughs, “I won’t be long”.
I look at him as he walks out and I smile.
The front door opens and Mark’s voice is different this time “That’s Emilia’s car. What the fuck is going on?”
“Calm down mate. Do you think she’s the only one driving that SUV in England?”
“Don’t give me the piss. There’s a scratch on the left side. A black paint one. And I know it very well because that’s my precious Mercedes’ paint. She’s not a big fan of driving on the ‘wrong’ side of the road, as she calls it, and she sucks at parking. Where is she?”
“You’re acting crazy”
“Me? You are more fucked up than I thought. Are you suicidal? If there’s something going on between the two of you, next stop is painful death road. Howard is going to kill you! Emilia where are you?”
I open the door, “hello Markie, there’s no need to scream like that, they have guests in the other room and we don’t want everyone to know you are lunatic.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Eating Jen’s cake and playing Monopoly, wanna join us?”
“Not funny. Let’s go”
“Who are you my father?”
“No, I’m the one who’s in the middle of a shit storm and he’s trying to save his friends. All of them. What are doing here? You never told me you kept in touch with Robbie”
“I haven’t”
“Robbie” … I can see he’s almost there … “Robert! Fuck me! How could I be so bloody stupid? You are the Robert my Umpa Lumpa has been talking about all week long. Doug hates you already and doesn’t even know it’s you. Oh boy! You are dead meat Robbie. Say goodbye to mum because if he finds out you’re not coming back”
“Mark there’s nothing going on here and Howard doesn’t need to know. And besides I’d like to remind you we are almost divorced.”
“I don’t think Doug got the memo. Don’t you know him?”
“Markie please, you are blowing it out of proportion. Would it help if I come back with you?”
“Yes it would”
“Emz you don’t have to go yet”
“It’s ok Robbie, I’ll give you a call later”.
We park in front of the mansion Howard rented for the week-end.
I take my bag from the trunk, Mark is walking by my side.
“Mr. Owen, you are a pain in the ass”
“Smile and not a word” and rings the bell.
I pay no attention, “You don’t understand, there’s this thing … too hard to explain. Trust me, he cannot see me in here with you”
“Calm down. I’m the king of white lies. I could be at her Majesty’s service. I’ll be right back” and leaves the kitchen.
I stuck my ear on the door so I can hear what is going on in the living room.
“Markie mate! So good to see you!”
“If you’re so happy why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?”
“I was going to, cross my heart. Who did you know …?”“Your mum met my mum”
“Sometimes I just wish I had been raised by wolves, don’t you?”
“Yeah! Don’t you wanna know what I’m doing up north?”
“Doug’s birthday”
*Robbie you are an idiot! MI5 my ass. Robbie focus, you need to come up with a good explanation*
But he doesn’t need to, Mark offers him the best way out. “You remember the date of Doug’s birthday? Wow, that’s impressive, I didn’t know you still care so much”
“You know me, I’m over-romantic”
*good Robbie, you’re doing just fine, now don’t screw up*
Robbie stares at Mark who seems to be thinking about something.
“Why is Emilia’s car parked in front of your mum’s house?”
“It’s not”
“Do you know her car?”
“No I don’t”
“So how do you know it’s not hers?”
*we are doomed … we’re Austin Powers without the funny side*
“I don’t but I can tell you she’s not here, so I guess that settles the matter. Why would she be here?”
“Right, I’m sorry, you haven’t seen her in what, 15 years now?” He looks at his watch “I gotta go. I’m on a mission. We run out of silly strings. I left Doug besieged by the offspring. You can tell we are getting old; he invited more kids than chicks. I’ve already been called the slowest driver alive; they’ll think I lost my way back home”
“We could get together tomorrow”
“Sure and I’ll take Emily too. She is fantastic and I want you to meet her”
“Markie is in luuuuvvveeeeeeeeeeee” Robbie says in a very mocking tone.
“Yes I am and it’s fantastic”
“I bet. See you tomorrow mate”.
I hear a door open and close and Robbie walks back into the kitchen. He looks at me and he seems really happy with his performance. “See? I’m a pro. I can fool anyone anytime. You on the other hand. Parking the car right in front of the house. Didn’t you watch the last James Bond movie? That is basic stuff. I will have to give you extra classes”. He gives me a very disappointed look “I was saving your sexy ass and you were busy wiping your face. It’s a good thing I’m here because you did a lousy job” and he walks towards me, slowly, looking at me right in the eyes and I feel butterflies in my stomach. *what’s going on, this is Robbie, just Robbie, little Robbie, the one I used to make fun of*. He’s only few inches away from me “you missed a crumb right there” and he gently places his lips on the corner of my mouth. We stay still for a couple of seconds when I feel is tongue licking an imaginary piece of chocolate. *What am I doing? Robbie has never been my type* I bet he knows what I’m thinking because he smiles and softly bites my lower lip searching for access. I gasp and part my lips so he can plunge his tongue into my mouth. I hear him moaning as he kiss between us deepens. I feel his arms going around my waist while his thumbs are rubbing my naked skin under the shirt. I don’t know what to do, or at least I think I don’t because I realize my hands are holding on to his belt. And I kiss him back deeper and deeper.
And the bell rings again.
I break our kiss and I look into his eyes *this is major bad* “What the hell just happened?” I say trying to catch my breath.
"I don’t know, but I'd sure like to find out. I am not expecting anyone and I have 15 years and one week to catch up” and kisses me again.
“Robbie, it’s Mark again, do you want me to answer?” that is his mum yelling now.
We part, “I’ll take it mum! … I kill Mark and I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere”
“I don’t think I can move my legs”
He smiles “Good, but you might wanna consider let go of my belt. I cannot go to the door dragging you along”
“I’m sorry” and I rub his chest. “I’ll be good I promise”
He looks into my eyes and I know he can see how much I want him.
“Robbieeeeeeee, the door!” Jan yells again.
He laughs, “I won’t be long”.
I look at him as he walks out and I smile.
The front door opens and Mark’s voice is different this time “That’s Emilia’s car. What the fuck is going on?”
“Calm down mate. Do you think she’s the only one driving that SUV in England?”
“Don’t give me the piss. There’s a scratch on the left side. A black paint one. And I know it very well because that’s my precious Mercedes’ paint. She’s not a big fan of driving on the ‘wrong’ side of the road, as she calls it, and she sucks at parking. Where is she?”
“You’re acting crazy”
“Me? You are more fucked up than I thought. Are you suicidal? If there’s something going on between the two of you, next stop is painful death road. Howard is going to kill you! Emilia where are you?”
I open the door, “hello Markie, there’s no need to scream like that, they have guests in the other room and we don’t want everyone to know you are lunatic.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Eating Jen’s cake and playing Monopoly, wanna join us?”
“Not funny. Let’s go”
“Who are you my father?”
“No, I’m the one who’s in the middle of a shit storm and he’s trying to save his friends. All of them. What are doing here? You never told me you kept in touch with Robbie”
“I haven’t”
“Robbie” … I can see he’s almost there … “Robert! Fuck me! How could I be so bloody stupid? You are the Robert my Umpa Lumpa has been talking about all week long. Doug hates you already and doesn’t even know it’s you. Oh boy! You are dead meat Robbie. Say goodbye to mum because if he finds out you’re not coming back”
“Mark there’s nothing going on here and Howard doesn’t need to know. And besides I’d like to remind you we are almost divorced.”
“I don’t think Doug got the memo. Don’t you know him?”
“Markie please, you are blowing it out of proportion. Would it help if I come back with you?”
“Yes it would”
“Emz you don’t have to go yet”
“It’s ok Robbie, I’ll give you a call later”.
We park in front of the mansion Howard rented for the week-end.
I take my bag from the trunk, Mark is walking by my side.
“Mr. Owen, you are a pain in the ass”
“Smile and not a word” and rings the bell.
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