NOBODY 6

Emily opens the door. “Markie, love, you were able to go into town and back in less than 2 hours. I’m impressed!” and she sees me “Oh, that’s why, you were pushing the Mercedes so to break the 20 miles an hour rule!” and she kisses me first and hugs Mark tight.
“The two of you are so cute together, but when you come back to your senses let me know and I’ll fix you up with a decent man”
“Don’t you think about it! I’m a keeper”.
“A slow one. And since you are my boss I am glad to announce I wrote another book”
“Really? I didn’t know anything about a new one”
“Writers! There’s no stopping genius! We got inspiration out of the most random situations. We left London at 8 this morning. By noon we were in Stratford. I just wanted to kill myself. I got so bored I took my laptop and started writing. It’s an adventure book. It’s called ‘Markie and the discovery of the third gear’”
“The two of you together are a deadly combination” he protests but before he can add anything else we hear a primal scream coming from the garden “FOOD FIGHT” and we see Howard running like a mad man and chasing the kids around throwing M&Ms at them.
Little Emily manages to open the door so she enters the house followed by Daniel, Antigone and a bunch of other kids.
“They look like a swarm of locusts; don’t they remind you of a biblical plague?” Emily comments.
“Not a big fun of the little people? Don’t worry; I was just like you before having Antigone. There’s no fighting this thing, you will be one of us”
“Not planning on joining the motherly side any time soon”, but by the way Mark is looking at her I think we might be in for some big surprise soon.
Howard jumps right by me taking me into his arms “You made it! It was about time! Need help to get rid of the evil midgets”. The kids are all hiding under the table giggling “have you seen them?” and looks around him.
“No I haven’t, put me down”
“Where’s my present?”“I don’t have a present. Me being here is your present”
“I am the birthday giant! Me want present!” and he turns towards the table “The giant does not have his present and he is hungry. Needs tender flesh, maybe midget flesh” and dive under the table grabbing 4 of the kids.
“Mummy help!” they are all laughing so much. The kids don’t stand a chance against him but Markie comes to their rescue and they literally ‘bury’ Howard in silly strings.
He’s on the floor “Noooooooo, Emilia, please…… they got … me ... Evil…. Midget … no birthday cake … for you” and fakes a very dramatic death.
Dawn decides it is time to take control “kids, go play outside, snacks are ready, Howard, I would like to remind you you’re turning 39 today. Emilia, I’m so glad you’re here. This place is a mess. Gary and Howard are the worst of all of them”
“Don’t look at me. I’ll just go up to my room and unpack. I’ll see you in 5 minutes. You can spank him if it’ll make you feel any better”.
“Gary would not like it … I guess … maybe it’s worth … asking … what you think?” and she’s looking at him like he’s a nice roasted turkey on Thanksgiving Day.
Howard is still on the floor, covered in colorful silly strings, opens one eye and says “I’m not really dead you know? I can hear you, and my arse is mine to give away, and you are too blond for my taste”
“Dawn he doesn’t deserve you. Come up with me, I might use some company”

I close the door and put the bag on the bed.
“What’s going on? You have your guilty look and Mark was staring at you downstairs. What happened?”
“It’s complicated”
“We survived the 'Nobody Else' tour together, try me”
“I have this friend…”
“A friend”
“No, you’re right, she has a name. Let’s just say that Sue Storm …”
“As in Fantastic Four”
“Her. So let’s say Sue Storm finds herself in a total unexpected situation and kisses the Human Torch. Would it be so bad?”
“You kissed Mark?”
“I said Human Torch not Dopey. And no, I would not kiss Mark or Gary if it matters. Focus Dawn, would it be bad?”
“As long as it is not my husband and Howard doesn’t know, I think you should do whatever makes you feel good”
“What is that Howard doesn’t know?” and he enters the room.
….
“Your present, you don’t have to find out about your present yet” Dawn is the best.
“We’ll see” and he empties the content of my bag over the bed. He sees no sign of wrapping or anything remotely connected to a present. Looks at me, not ready to give up, “Where is my present?”
“Not there” and I look at the mess he did.
He smirks, “Body search!”