WITH OR WITHOUT YOU `13

Shopping is fun. I headed to King’s Road. I’m sure I can find something for Dawn at the Furla shop. If there’s something we have in common is what Gary calls ‘handbag mania’. Howard simply told me “make it fancy and expensive” so I’m here to comply the emperor’s wishes. I find what I’m looking for. Have it nicely wrapped and pay it when I see her. My first instinct is to duck down behind a shop assistant before I can even say ‘ex-girlfriend’ and creep my way out of the store and into the street.
Unfortunately in the real world there is no place to hide and she sees me. Diamond catwalks toward me with the biggest and fakest smile ever.
“Hello! How are you Mrs. Donald? Ops! I’m so sorry, he hasn’t married you either. It must be harsh for you. Anyway, long time no see. When was it … oh yeah, the night you stole my boyfriend from me. How sweet of you.”
“Hello Diamond, glad to see you too. And for the record I did not steal him. It just happened.”
“No harsh feeling. It’s all in the past now. I read you had a baby. Congratulations! You look fabulous considering you still haven’t lost any of the baby fat. I just hope you don’t think being a father will change him. The man is a sex machine. But you know that already”.
“I don’t see the point of having this conversation with you. It was unfortunate to see you, hope it won’t happen again”. And I head toward the door.
“Not so fast” and she grabs my arm, still smiling, “when I met him he was dating somebody else. And when he met her, same thing. What makes you think you’re any better than us? I created an exclusive club, and I suspect you will be joining us soon. It’s called ‘Howard Donald’s Casualties’ and our motto is ‘Once a cheater always a cheater’. He means no arm, he just can’t help it.”
“You are just pathetic. And your lips are way too big. Hands off my arm now!”
“I know it’s hard but I feel we girls need to stick together. Truth is he shagged every woman walking by his hotel rooms during his last tour. Judging from your expression you had no idea. And believe me, you were the only one not knowing about his bedroom recreational activities. Your Howie is the talk of the town. I’m truly sorry for you but let me give you a piece of advice before I go. He’s going out of town right? Pay him a surprise visit. If you trust him there’s nothing to worry about but if I were you I would plan carefully so to be able to catch the last flight back home”.
I storm out of the store. *how dare she? Stupid cow. Stupid plastic cow. Howard would never cheat on me. It is different this time. I’m the one who changed him* as soon I finish the thought panic gets me. Big time. I pick my mobile and call Henry.
“Help! Need help! And counseling, fast! I’m delusional. What happened to me? How could you let it happen to me? You were supposed to look after me! I’m a bloody character from Robyn Norwood’s ‘Women who love too much’. Oh I’m freaking out! Can’t breath!”
“Calm down. What are you talking about? I’m in my office. Why don’t you come down here so we can have tea at our favorite cafe?”
“Sure, sure, I can come, I can do it. Need to stay calm”
“You do realize you’re still talking to me. Don’t you?”
“Of course I do, see you”.

Henry is already waiting for me at a table by the window. I sit down “he’s cheating on me. There is no other explanation”
“Of course! Planet Hearth calling Wackodonia. What are you talking about? What’s wrong with you? Have you stopped taking your magic pills again?”
“This is serious. Run into Howard’s ex-girlfriend. She told me he’s shagging the entire female population of the western hemisphere”
“All of them”
“Well, almost”
“She knew he’s going to Paris. Why did she know? Who told her?”
“Rhetorical questions don’t require answers, but can I be frank?”
“It depends”.
“I think it could be true. The man is basic, to say the least. Maybe in his head having sex with other women is not technically cheating”.
“That’s not what you were supposed to say”.
“Sorry, didn’t have the time to memorize the script. There’s only one thing you can do now. Go home and talk to him”.
“You and your bloody logic. What if I prefer to be in the dark?”
“You don’t. You’re a fighter”.
“Maybe.”
“Tea?”
“My life is over and you think about your bloody national drink? What’s wrong with you people? Is it too much asking for some sympathy? Someone’s suffering here!”
“I don’t think us dying of thirst would change the situation, wouldn’t it?”
“Guess not, I’ll have a chamomile please, and my life back”.
“Don’t think it’s on the menu”.