WITH OR WITHOUT YOU 14

A taxi takes me back to the recording studio. Howard is already waiting for me chatting with Mark. They’re smoking while Jay-Jay is sitting in the car playing with his Shrek action figure.
“Mission accomplished?”
“Yep!” and I show him the bag. “Hi Mark. You should both quit. It’s a disgusting habit. Do you need a lift home?”
“No thanks, Emma is coming to pick me up. Elmwood is staying with his nanny and we planned a night out. Grown ups only for a change”.
“Grown ups only… I sort of remember those times… don’t you Mon? We could have those too, if only you would give in and hire a nanny”
“No stranger will take care of my child. On second thought, I could ask my parents to move in with us.”
“You kidding right? I mean, they’re great but their life is in Italy, your brother lives there. They have jobs and friends there”.
“Maybe they do, maybe they don’t”.
“What’s wrong? You have your special occasion killer look”
“Can we talk about it when we get home?”
Mark looks at Howard and his face is telling him *I don’t know what you did mate but you’re in deep shit*.
“Anything you want. Mark we’re going. Have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do”.
“So I can basically do anything but getting an education?”
“You’re funny mate! See you tomorrow morning at the airport.” He starts the car and we move. “We wrote a new song today. Wanna hear it? I get to sing it.”
I’m still looking out of the window.
He tries to mock my voice “yes please honey, sing it for me, I love your voice, you’re so talented!” switches back to his tone “If you beg me…

We used to walk Mancunian Way

We used to swagger we used to sway

Up until the lights took us away

Do you know what you meant to me?

We used to think we were the bomb

Then someone left a real one

We stayed indoors as the rain come

Back then it made no sense to me

I'm missing your face, your beautiful face

It's funny that I recall

They gave us the keys to the city, but they don't fit anything

But I'm coming anywayI hear you calling

I came back running

Forgot that feeling

Been so long coming

They tried to stop her

She just got stronger

I'm driving home again

Back down Mancunian Way.

So what do you think?”
“I like it. I really do”.
“Jason, did you hear it? She can talk!” and kisses me on the cheek.

We get home and I feed Jason. He’s quite tonight. Maybe children have a sixth sense. I give him a bath and put his PJ on.
Howard is by the piano playing a new tune, he sings in such a low voice I cannot grasp the words. Sounds like a love song. I like it. He hears me coming and stops playing. “You are obviously upset. What happened?”
I place Jason on the carpet and I switch Baby TV on. Stupid ‘Louie’s Friends’ is on again. It is going to drive me crazy. If I’m not there already.
I walk closer to Howard so I don’t have to raise my voice. “That bitch. Fucking bitch. If they will ever organize a Bitches Special Olympics she’s gonna win gold, silver and bronze medal”.
“If I may, who are you talking about?” and he’s holding me close, I try to free myself from his embrace but he doesn’t let me.
“Diamond. The queen of all bitches. I run into her at the store. She said terrible things. Terrible.” There are tears running down my face.
“Shh, since when we care what Diamond has to say? We haven’t seen her in so long. She has nothing to do with us. I don’t want you to cry because of her. I’m here with you, not her. It’s OK”. He holds me tighter and start kissing my eyes.
“She knew you’re going to Paris. How can she know?”
“It’s not exactly a secret. We are doing it so people can talk about us”.
“You’re right. I think I took my stupid pill. I should have kicked her sorry skinny ass. She called me fat. Can you imagine? Why didn’t I bit her to a pulp? Why?”
“I tell you why. Number one you are a lady, and ladies do not go around beating the crap out of challenged people. Number two I wasn’t there and you love me too much to waste a girl on girl action. Let me tell you babe, it’s a major turn on”.
I have to smile *he cannot be cheating on me* “don’t call me babe, you know I don’t like it”.
He smiles nodding, “Now, let me put Jason to bed, and I will give you the best foot massage you’ve ever had”.
“I love you”.
“I love you too, never doubt it, not for a second”.
“I’m sorry, I’m just being unreasonable”.
“I’m used to it” and kisses me, I think about what Diamond and Henry told me. They’re dead wrong. “Screw them” I whisper.
Howard picks Jason up, looks at me and smirks “them? Fancy a threesome?”
“Rain check”.