“We are going to be late. It is your son’s birthday party. He is not supposed to be late. Hurry up!”
Lots of clothes on the bed, more shoes scattered on the floor. I’m looking at myself in the mirror; I don’t look satisfied with what I’m seeing.
“Tricia, you are supposed to be here to support me. It is not my fault. My hair is too short and none of my previous life clothes fit anymore. What am I supposed to do?”
“I told you not to cut them. Someone should analyze the relation between women’s urge to get a new haircut and male emotional fuckwits. We get rid of a loser and we feel the need to butcher our hair, there must be something missing in the equation…” She looks at me “They were so soft, and long”
“Stop it, if you mean to help it is not working”
“Do you remember when Jack left me, I dyed my hair orange…” she’s now looking through my stuff on the bed “Where are the dresses you bought when you were pregnant with Jason?”
“Collateral damages. I realized I threw them out with the cheating bastard’s stuff on the day of the ‘women in denial uprising’. I haven’t been in a shopping mood lately. I had to give back my membership card to the ‘Born to Shop’ club too. Maybe I could stretch the black skirt. Or maybe I should just stay home. You can take Jay there and tell the guests I had a ‘wardrobe malfunction’. ”
“Nice try, I almost bought it.” she sticks her head inside the wardrobe and comes out with a dark green dress. “This one should go. Shoes are right here, so is the taxi. I’ll wait for you downstairs”.
“Be right down, I guess, friend!”
We are now in the taxi, heading to Mark’s house. Jason is all excited. He’s wearing a tie too. He looks so grown up. *I cannot get too emotional; it is only a kid’s party. I must concentrate on the food*
“You OK?” Tricia asks.
“Not really, I need you to stay by me. If you do I might survive this afternoon. Have you memorized the faces of the members of the Donald clan?”
“You mean the pictures you e-mailed me with a message saying ‘Britain’s most wanted! Pregnant woman potential enemies, must keep them away from me!?”
“Them!”
“Don’t worry, you know me, I’m on top of things. I rehearsed my karate moves too. But I was wondering, why aren’t your parents coming?”
“We’re going to Italy in 3 weeks, we will celebrate his birthday then. And besides they don’t know”
“They don’t know about you and …”
“My father broke is leg in a bike accident two days before my jolly day trip to Paris and I don’t think it’s the right time to bother them with my emotional crisis. My brother would just jump on the first flight and kill Howard”
“And you don’t want it to happen. You still care about him”
“We haven’t reached an agreement on child support yet. I need the cheating bastard to stay alive until we talk to a judge. I’ll unleash the mad brother afterwards. Italian giant versus cheating bastard, I’ll bring a chair to enjoy the show”.
The front of Mark’s house is decorated with colorful balloons and there’s a clown opening the door.
*Breathe deep, no need to panic, yet*
“Here you are! You look smashing! I like the hair! Hello Tricia, I’m glad you could make it”
“Thanks Emma, how are you? Thanks for organizing the party”
“I did nothing. I’m Juliet, young, Italian and in love. I’m too busy planning a serious secret wedding to be bothered with kids stuff. The proud fathers did all the work”
We all laugh and she shows us to the back garden. It is an explosion of colors: Balloons and banners everywhere, yellow tablecloths, orange chairs, lots of food. There are more clowns doing little gigs, two ponies, and a guy dressed as Shrek. I see kids running all over the place, chasing each other. A Lot of them. One runs towards me “Hello Auntie Monica, so good to see you”, that is Howard’s 8 years old niece.
“It’s good to see you too sweetie, how are you?”
“I’m having such a good time! Where’s Jay? I have a big present for him. I need to run to tell mummy you’re here.” She mouths me to get closer to her and she whispers “I’ll have to tell her she lost. I’m not supposed to say, but she made a bet with grandma. She said she was super sure you were not coming. Something about you being too good for… what was the word …. Auntie Monica, what does cheating bastard mean?”
“Nothing, it’s Italian for emperor. Jay is inside, go look for him”.
“Bye”
“Bye”
I look around, I spot Dawn and I walk her direction. Gary hands me some orange juice and goes back to taking his video.
“I should have never bought him that digital video camera. Every time I turn he’s filming me. It was fun at the beginning, I feel like strangling him now. It’s like living with Stephen Spielberg. Minus the Oscars” she says.
“The two of you are so sweet; you’ve been together for so long. I’m positively jealous of what you have”
“Peacekeeping is the word”
“I don’t want to talk about Howard”
“I know, Mark did his homework. I’m sorry. I was told the chocolate cake is fantastic. Since we don’t believe what we are told, should we apply an empirical method and taste it?”
“It’s always chocolate time!”
Everyone is having fun. The Donald family is keeping its distance, with the only exception of Howard’s sister who walks by me and gives me thumbs up. She also waited for me to go back inside so I could see her smacking her brother’s head.
Howard. I have been very good at avoiding him. Until now: Official pictures time.
The photographer calls for all the people around and takes picture of everyone according to families’ relation or groups’ affiliation. I know the dreadful moment is coming, I can hear ‘Jaws’ soundtrack playing in my head. I could lock myself in the bathroom. It has worked before but Mark is standing right in front of me, with a satisfied smile whispering ‘No way! I got you’ and looks behind me winking. I hear the bloody photographer he hired for the occasion calling from the garden “A picture of the two birthday boys! And their proud parents!”
I look at Mark ‘I’m gonna kill you, and you will suffer’. He takes my hand “Keep smiling” he says and we walk to the middle of the garden. Everyone is looking at us. Emma is already there with Elmwood and by her the cheating bastard and my son. I keep my eyes on the ground. Grass has never been so interesting. *must not look at him, must not touch him, must disappear now*. I can feel every single eye on us. I don’t like to be at the center of people’s attention. I guess everyone is just waiting to see what I am going to do now.
Lots of clothes on the bed, more shoes scattered on the floor. I’m looking at myself in the mirror; I don’t look satisfied with what I’m seeing.
“Tricia, you are supposed to be here to support me. It is not my fault. My hair is too short and none of my previous life clothes fit anymore. What am I supposed to do?”
“I told you not to cut them. Someone should analyze the relation between women’s urge to get a new haircut and male emotional fuckwits. We get rid of a loser and we feel the need to butcher our hair, there must be something missing in the equation…” She looks at me “They were so soft, and long”
“Stop it, if you mean to help it is not working”
“Do you remember when Jack left me, I dyed my hair orange…” she’s now looking through my stuff on the bed “Where are the dresses you bought when you were pregnant with Jason?”
“Collateral damages. I realized I threw them out with the cheating bastard’s stuff on the day of the ‘women in denial uprising’. I haven’t been in a shopping mood lately. I had to give back my membership card to the ‘Born to Shop’ club too. Maybe I could stretch the black skirt. Or maybe I should just stay home. You can take Jay there and tell the guests I had a ‘wardrobe malfunction’. ”
“Nice try, I almost bought it.” she sticks her head inside the wardrobe and comes out with a dark green dress. “This one should go. Shoes are right here, so is the taxi. I’ll wait for you downstairs”.
“Be right down, I guess, friend!”
We are now in the taxi, heading to Mark’s house. Jason is all excited. He’s wearing a tie too. He looks so grown up. *I cannot get too emotional; it is only a kid’s party. I must concentrate on the food*
“You OK?” Tricia asks.
“Not really, I need you to stay by me. If you do I might survive this afternoon. Have you memorized the faces of the members of the Donald clan?”
“You mean the pictures you e-mailed me with a message saying ‘Britain’s most wanted! Pregnant woman potential enemies, must keep them away from me!?”
“Them!”
“Don’t worry, you know me, I’m on top of things. I rehearsed my karate moves too. But I was wondering, why aren’t your parents coming?”
“We’re going to Italy in 3 weeks, we will celebrate his birthday then. And besides they don’t know”
“They don’t know about you and …”
“My father broke is leg in a bike accident two days before my jolly day trip to Paris and I don’t think it’s the right time to bother them with my emotional crisis. My brother would just jump on the first flight and kill Howard”
“And you don’t want it to happen. You still care about him”
“We haven’t reached an agreement on child support yet. I need the cheating bastard to stay alive until we talk to a judge. I’ll unleash the mad brother afterwards. Italian giant versus cheating bastard, I’ll bring a chair to enjoy the show”.
The front of Mark’s house is decorated with colorful balloons and there’s a clown opening the door.
*Breathe deep, no need to panic, yet*
“Here you are! You look smashing! I like the hair! Hello Tricia, I’m glad you could make it”
“Thanks Emma, how are you? Thanks for organizing the party”
“I did nothing. I’m Juliet, young, Italian and in love. I’m too busy planning a serious secret wedding to be bothered with kids stuff. The proud fathers did all the work”
We all laugh and she shows us to the back garden. It is an explosion of colors: Balloons and banners everywhere, yellow tablecloths, orange chairs, lots of food. There are more clowns doing little gigs, two ponies, and a guy dressed as Shrek. I see kids running all over the place, chasing each other. A Lot of them. One runs towards me “Hello Auntie Monica, so good to see you”, that is Howard’s 8 years old niece.
“It’s good to see you too sweetie, how are you?”
“I’m having such a good time! Where’s Jay? I have a big present for him. I need to run to tell mummy you’re here.” She mouths me to get closer to her and she whispers “I’ll have to tell her she lost. I’m not supposed to say, but she made a bet with grandma. She said she was super sure you were not coming. Something about you being too good for… what was the word …. Auntie Monica, what does cheating bastard mean?”
“Nothing, it’s Italian for emperor. Jay is inside, go look for him”.
“Bye”
“Bye”
I look around, I spot Dawn and I walk her direction. Gary hands me some orange juice and goes back to taking his video.
“I should have never bought him that digital video camera. Every time I turn he’s filming me. It was fun at the beginning, I feel like strangling him now. It’s like living with Stephen Spielberg. Minus the Oscars” she says.
“The two of you are so sweet; you’ve been together for so long. I’m positively jealous of what you have”
“Peacekeeping is the word”
“I don’t want to talk about Howard”
“I know, Mark did his homework. I’m sorry. I was told the chocolate cake is fantastic. Since we don’t believe what we are told, should we apply an empirical method and taste it?”
“It’s always chocolate time!”
Everyone is having fun. The Donald family is keeping its distance, with the only exception of Howard’s sister who walks by me and gives me thumbs up. She also waited for me to go back inside so I could see her smacking her brother’s head.
Howard. I have been very good at avoiding him. Until now: Official pictures time.
The photographer calls for all the people around and takes picture of everyone according to families’ relation or groups’ affiliation. I know the dreadful moment is coming, I can hear ‘Jaws’ soundtrack playing in my head. I could lock myself in the bathroom. It has worked before but Mark is standing right in front of me, with a satisfied smile whispering ‘No way! I got you’ and looks behind me winking. I hear the bloody photographer he hired for the occasion calling from the garden “A picture of the two birthday boys! And their proud parents!”
I look at Mark ‘I’m gonna kill you, and you will suffer’. He takes my hand “Keep smiling” he says and we walk to the middle of the garden. Everyone is looking at us. Emma is already there with Elmwood and by her the cheating bastard and my son. I keep my eyes on the ground. Grass has never been so interesting. *must not look at him, must not touch him, must disappear now*. I can feel every single eye on us. I don’t like to be at the center of people’s attention. I guess everyone is just waiting to see what I am going to do now.
Nessun commento:
Posta un commento