“Are sure I am cool enough?” I am looking at myself in the mirror and I am seriously considering the option of changing again.
Howard is standing by the door, he does not look happy. “Just shoot me now! I swear to God, if you change your top one more time I am going to bang my head against the wall until I drop dead. And you will have some explanation to do little lady. Gary is going to be so pissed having to do my dance routines too.”
“Try to understand, clubs are not my thing and I now that I look at them I really think my legs are too short”.
“Don’t you worry about you’re wearing, you will be going there with the best accessory in town. ME!”
“Whatever!” I sigh and grab my handbag. Give a last glance at my reflection in the mirror and say “Alright then, let’s go and get over with”.
“That’s the spirit!” and he grabs the car keys.
The place is so crowded we have trouble to get to our table. Mark and Emma are already there chatting. There are other people sitting with them, they must be the proud members of what I like to call the House Music Frat. When I seat I spot Jason coming towards us with drinks.
“I’m so glad you’re here too Jay” and I hug him. Once I’m closer he whispers “you must really like him to be here tonight for the House music madness”
“That’s my burden, I’ve tried but I can’t help it!”
“Howard, mate, I run into Diamond yesterday. She was shopping at Gucci and she sends her best, to both of you” and winks at me.
“And how is she?” I ask in a very concerned voice. “Please, genie, tell me my wishes were granted, I asked for her to gain at least 200 pounds, lose all her hair, and I would really appreciate if her breath could smell like an illegal toxic waste dump in a hot summer day.” and I pull a face at Jason.
“Well, if you wish to check yourself she told me she’s going to be on the cover of Vogue next month”.
“Jason Thomas Orange, you are a horrible, horrible man! And a lousy genie too! You’re fired!”
“No, really thanks Jay, you have just unleashed hell and I will have to live with it. Should I just play dead and hope she forgets all about it?”
I interrupt them and take Jason’s hand, “Dance with me now, it’s the least you can do”.
“I can do far better than that, look what I got!” and shows me two shiny invitations for the next day opening of a very important exhibit I have been dying to see.
“Oh my God!” I am now jumping and clapping my hands “How did you get those? I’ve been trying so hard to get one. I used all my connections through the university, I also pretended I was Henry’s secretary but they said it was strict limited seating”.
“Well I’m just a poor bloke from Manchester, but I have this” and he points at his face, making the same expression he does during the concert while singing ‘Back for Good’ and picking up his umbrella. He’s just to die for. (Right?)
‘Smack’ and I give him a loud kiss on his check.
“What’s going on here?” Howard asks in a threatening tone.
“Not much, just taking your girlfriend out on a very exclusive date”.
“Oh, Ok then”.
“I hope one day you will be gracious enough to shad a light on those private jokes of yours” I tell both of them.
“Never” they answer.
The next day Emma is looking out of my kitchen window, sipping her coffee. “So how are things going?”
“I guess I don’t really know. I mean he is fantastic, no, let me get this straight, he is beyond fantastic but I have not much fate in our future together. We’re so different and sometimes I feel like we’re blindfolded, trying to find each other in an unknown territory. When it happens is priceless, but most of the time we’re just running into obstacles. Everything is so hard. He loves clubbing, and I have a demanding day job. He hates when I don’t go out with him but when I do I get so bored. Don’t you think there should be a legal limit to how long can people listen to that constant bang bang bang? On the other side, I managed to take him to the Old Vic last Saturday and he felt asleep in the middle of act 2 of ‘Coriolanus’. I was so mad at him. I mean, the man managed to stay awake through a whole Celine Dion’s show! And then he comes up with something like that too” and I show her the necklace “and I just wanna eat him, literally”.
“Yep I guess I would do it too… er, I mean, if I wasn’t with Mark, you know what I mean, right? You probably feel the same about my Markie, don’t you?”
“No, not really”.
Howard is standing by the door, he does not look happy. “Just shoot me now! I swear to God, if you change your top one more time I am going to bang my head against the wall until I drop dead. And you will have some explanation to do little lady. Gary is going to be so pissed having to do my dance routines too.”
“Try to understand, clubs are not my thing and I now that I look at them I really think my legs are too short”.
“Don’t you worry about you’re wearing, you will be going there with the best accessory in town. ME!”
“Whatever!” I sigh and grab my handbag. Give a last glance at my reflection in the mirror and say “Alright then, let’s go and get over with”.
“That’s the spirit!” and he grabs the car keys.
The place is so crowded we have trouble to get to our table. Mark and Emma are already there chatting. There are other people sitting with them, they must be the proud members of what I like to call the House Music Frat. When I seat I spot Jason coming towards us with drinks.
“I’m so glad you’re here too Jay” and I hug him. Once I’m closer he whispers “you must really like him to be here tonight for the House music madness”
“That’s my burden, I’ve tried but I can’t help it!”
“Howard, mate, I run into Diamond yesterday. She was shopping at Gucci and she sends her best, to both of you” and winks at me.
“And how is she?” I ask in a very concerned voice. “Please, genie, tell me my wishes were granted, I asked for her to gain at least 200 pounds, lose all her hair, and I would really appreciate if her breath could smell like an illegal toxic waste dump in a hot summer day.” and I pull a face at Jason.
“Well, if you wish to check yourself she told me she’s going to be on the cover of Vogue next month”.
“Jason Thomas Orange, you are a horrible, horrible man! And a lousy genie too! You’re fired!”
“No, really thanks Jay, you have just unleashed hell and I will have to live with it. Should I just play dead and hope she forgets all about it?”
I interrupt them and take Jason’s hand, “Dance with me now, it’s the least you can do”.
“I can do far better than that, look what I got!” and shows me two shiny invitations for the next day opening of a very important exhibit I have been dying to see.
“Oh my God!” I am now jumping and clapping my hands “How did you get those? I’ve been trying so hard to get one. I used all my connections through the university, I also pretended I was Henry’s secretary but they said it was strict limited seating”.
“Well I’m just a poor bloke from Manchester, but I have this” and he points at his face, making the same expression he does during the concert while singing ‘Back for Good’ and picking up his umbrella. He’s just to die for. (Right?)
‘Smack’ and I give him a loud kiss on his check.
“What’s going on here?” Howard asks in a threatening tone.
“Not much, just taking your girlfriend out on a very exclusive date”.
“Oh, Ok then”.
“I hope one day you will be gracious enough to shad a light on those private jokes of yours” I tell both of them.
“Never” they answer.
The next day Emma is looking out of my kitchen window, sipping her coffee. “So how are things going?”
“I guess I don’t really know. I mean he is fantastic, no, let me get this straight, he is beyond fantastic but I have not much fate in our future together. We’re so different and sometimes I feel like we’re blindfolded, trying to find each other in an unknown territory. When it happens is priceless, but most of the time we’re just running into obstacles. Everything is so hard. He loves clubbing, and I have a demanding day job. He hates when I don’t go out with him but when I do I get so bored. Don’t you think there should be a legal limit to how long can people listen to that constant bang bang bang? On the other side, I managed to take him to the Old Vic last Saturday and he felt asleep in the middle of act 2 of ‘Coriolanus’. I was so mad at him. I mean, the man managed to stay awake through a whole Celine Dion’s show! And then he comes up with something like that too” and I show her the necklace “and I just wanna eat him, literally”.
“Yep I guess I would do it too… er, I mean, if I wasn’t with Mark, you know what I mean, right? You probably feel the same about my Markie, don’t you?”
“No, not really”.
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