I find it difficult to concentrate on teaching. All of the sudden it seems my classes are extremely popular among some new female students. I even have to move to a large classroom. No doubt some of them only care about the fact I’m having Howard Donald’s baby and they hope if they’re nice enough they’ll get and invitation to our house or even a glimpse of him - Like that is going to happen - Good thing my-hard-core-bunch of committed and smart students still believe I’m grumpy and demanding. I suspect they might even held the fact I’m dating a TT member against me. The other day they showed up in class with a present for little Jason-to-be. It’s a mini Nirvana t-shirt. Their card read “We felt someone had to set the record straight. Best of luck!”
I’m worried because my brain has started playing funny tricks on me lately. Never thought of myself as the jealous kind, but with the baby coming my psychological dependence on Howard is growing. While walking to the university I sometimes daydream about finding him with another woman. Then I come up with all sort of bloody methods to kill them both and dispose of their bodies. They usually involve a saw and a couple of hammers. It’s either the lack of sleep or I am simply turning into a serial killer.
I also missed my last two deadlines and Henry is not happy about it. I have tried to avoid him like the plague. I’ve been walking around the department like I’m a fatty Pink Panther. It seems like we only have two main topics of conversation, the Boston conference and my poor writing. So no surprise I’m not too keen into being stuck in a room with him.
Trouble is I can’t fool him and he had me called by no other than his almighty secretary – Mrs. Jones - setting up a proper meeting. I’m doomed. And I’m late.
Stupid elevator, it is taking forever to reach the floor. Doors open - good, start walking down the corridor - good, I’m about to enter Mrs. Jones’ office when I feel it, no mistake – no baby no, please, if you love your mommy, or even better, if you want your mommy to love you don’t do this to me right now. No fighting nature, I should know it after 7 months of it – quick scan of the area, need to locate a loo, fast.
Back to square one eventually and she sees me.
“Oh hello dear! How are you? And our little boy?” and she rubs my belly. I hate when people do that. Pregnant woman equals loss of right not to be touched by strangers.
“Hello, I’m fine thanks, and I am so sorry for being late”.
“Prof. Thompson has been waiting for you for almost 40 minutes. You know he doesn’t like it but I tamed him with some blueberry muffins. Dr. Graves is with him too. You can go in dear.” And she smiles at me, I figure Romans had the same smile when they sent Christians inside the Coliseum.
Show no fear that is my mantra. It’s gonna work. Besides Tricia – Dr. Graves – is with him, perfect. I bet she’s been working her magic and kept him entertained. I enter the room, they’re chatting about Henry’s latest award winning book and it takes him a few moments to realize I’m there.
I wonder if Tricia fully understands the effect she has on men, with no distinction of race, age, religion, education or sexual orientations even.
“There you are! How sweet of you to join us. I thought we had a meeting, but what would I know?”
“Sorry Henry but...”
“No need to apologize” - sarcasm again, not good, not good - “I’m glad you still remember about me, you know, your boss, your mentor, I used to be almost a father figure to you” then he remembers about Tricia being in the room “an extremely young father figure” corrects himself.
“Henry give her a break! Come and sit by me! You look fantastic today!”
“Liar” but I’m thankful she’s there to support me.
“I meant to call you before. Thanks for the wonderful dinner party. I had so much fun” she says.
“Dinner party? When? Where? Why was I not invited?”
“You’re missing one of the four ‘H’. And you were invited, but if I recall correctly you said you’d rather drink a glass of sand than spending another evening with Howard. Actually that gave me the hint you might not like him”. Damn you man! Laugh! That was a good joke
“I just don’t understand what you see in him.”
“Henry you should give him a chance.” Tricia tells him. “He’s fun and caring. I truly had the best time last night. I must say I had the chance to check up his bottom at last.” I love the way she is so proper all the time, so charming. “Let me tell you, he’s just the best thing since sliced bread. Too bad he’s no longer on the market.”
Henry does not like her comment on so many levels I can’t even start counting them.
Tricia stands up, “I’ll leave the two of you to your chit-chat” turns towards me and adds “if you need me, I’ll be in my office, daydreaming about your man”. Before leaving the room she ‘accidentally’ brushes Henry’s arm. I can see him blushing. She’s good at this game. Might need some tutoring, I wonder how much she charges by the hour.
Henry closes the door. Not a good sign. As long as there is no plastic on the floor I’m safe, he would never stain his precious carpet with my blood.
“I’m worried about you. It’s like I don’t know you anymore. You seem not to have time for me. You never told me what Howard thought about you turning down the job offer in Florence.” he sits down and stares at me “You did not tell him, didn’t you?”
“He knows, but he thinks it’s a joke.”
“Funny, since when your career is a joke?”
“I take it seriously, you know that. It’s just my priorities are changed”.
“I love you honey, you know I do but you need to pull yourself together. I understand you’re going through a particular moment, hard to miss really, what are you, 12 months pregnant now?”
“You cannot be 12 months pregnant, at least I hope so ‘cause I feel like I am going to explode anytime now. And I am sorry for missing the deadline”
“DeadlineS” he points out.
“Deadlines, you’re right. I tried to write but I’m tired all the time and lonely. When Howard’s home he’s the only thing I can concentrate on. I think I might have developed some sort of allergy to computer work” try to crack another joke but he’s not laughing.
“Listen to me, I don’t like to play this part but we both have responsibilities. You knew the book was going to be a challenge and we all thought you were up to it. Maybe I was wrong. You seem more focused on the belly dancer’s career than yours.”
“That’s unfair, Howard can sing too”. Again, I’m not funny anymore.
“Let’s be serious, the man has a lisp. Besides, we’re not here to discuss his talent, I asked you to come because I decided to give the project to Stephan. He’s going to write the book but considering the amount of research work you did I might consider including your name among the editors if you wish”
“Over your dead body!” – he laughs this time, keep going, that is the right path. “It is my project and if you think I will let Stephan steal it from me you are wrong. I can still do it. Please? I just need some more time. Few months, maybe a year…It’s still me, you owe it to me.”
He seems to be thinking about it. Please, please, please.
“I might be able to convince the publishing company we can wait one more year. But if I do I need you to give me your word. You will submit a chapter every 6 weeks, no excuses. You miss a deadline you’re out. Is that understood?”
“Yes, yes, yes thousand times yes!”
I’m about to leave his office, I slowly get up from the chair when he adds “just remember, no man defines who you are”.
I’m so tired of his petty remarks “Howard does not define me, you know better than that. We are a family. Maybe if you’d live this office or your precious books once every 50 years you’d know there’s a whole world out there!”
“Prove it!” He did it again, he took me right where he wanted me to be, after 5 years he gets me every time “come to Boston”.
I’m worried because my brain has started playing funny tricks on me lately. Never thought of myself as the jealous kind, but with the baby coming my psychological dependence on Howard is growing. While walking to the university I sometimes daydream about finding him with another woman. Then I come up with all sort of bloody methods to kill them both and dispose of their bodies. They usually involve a saw and a couple of hammers. It’s either the lack of sleep or I am simply turning into a serial killer.
I also missed my last two deadlines and Henry is not happy about it. I have tried to avoid him like the plague. I’ve been walking around the department like I’m a fatty Pink Panther. It seems like we only have two main topics of conversation, the Boston conference and my poor writing. So no surprise I’m not too keen into being stuck in a room with him.
Trouble is I can’t fool him and he had me called by no other than his almighty secretary – Mrs. Jones - setting up a proper meeting. I’m doomed. And I’m late.
Stupid elevator, it is taking forever to reach the floor. Doors open - good, start walking down the corridor - good, I’m about to enter Mrs. Jones’ office when I feel it, no mistake – no baby no, please, if you love your mommy, or even better, if you want your mommy to love you don’t do this to me right now. No fighting nature, I should know it after 7 months of it – quick scan of the area, need to locate a loo, fast.
Back to square one eventually and she sees me.
“Oh hello dear! How are you? And our little boy?” and she rubs my belly. I hate when people do that. Pregnant woman equals loss of right not to be touched by strangers.
“Hello, I’m fine thanks, and I am so sorry for being late”.
“Prof. Thompson has been waiting for you for almost 40 minutes. You know he doesn’t like it but I tamed him with some blueberry muffins. Dr. Graves is with him too. You can go in dear.” And she smiles at me, I figure Romans had the same smile when they sent Christians inside the Coliseum.
Show no fear that is my mantra. It’s gonna work. Besides Tricia – Dr. Graves – is with him, perfect. I bet she’s been working her magic and kept him entertained. I enter the room, they’re chatting about Henry’s latest award winning book and it takes him a few moments to realize I’m there.
I wonder if Tricia fully understands the effect she has on men, with no distinction of race, age, religion, education or sexual orientations even.
“There you are! How sweet of you to join us. I thought we had a meeting, but what would I know?”
“Sorry Henry but...”
“No need to apologize” - sarcasm again, not good, not good - “I’m glad you still remember about me, you know, your boss, your mentor, I used to be almost a father figure to you” then he remembers about Tricia being in the room “an extremely young father figure” corrects himself.
“Henry give her a break! Come and sit by me! You look fantastic today!”
“Liar” but I’m thankful she’s there to support me.
“I meant to call you before. Thanks for the wonderful dinner party. I had so much fun” she says.
“Dinner party? When? Where? Why was I not invited?”
“You’re missing one of the four ‘H’. And you were invited, but if I recall correctly you said you’d rather drink a glass of sand than spending another evening with Howard. Actually that gave me the hint you might not like him”. Damn you man! Laugh! That was a good joke
“I just don’t understand what you see in him.”
“Henry you should give him a chance.” Tricia tells him. “He’s fun and caring. I truly had the best time last night. I must say I had the chance to check up his bottom at last.” I love the way she is so proper all the time, so charming. “Let me tell you, he’s just the best thing since sliced bread. Too bad he’s no longer on the market.”
Henry does not like her comment on so many levels I can’t even start counting them.
Tricia stands up, “I’ll leave the two of you to your chit-chat” turns towards me and adds “if you need me, I’ll be in my office, daydreaming about your man”. Before leaving the room she ‘accidentally’ brushes Henry’s arm. I can see him blushing. She’s good at this game. Might need some tutoring, I wonder how much she charges by the hour.
Henry closes the door. Not a good sign. As long as there is no plastic on the floor I’m safe, he would never stain his precious carpet with my blood.
“I’m worried about you. It’s like I don’t know you anymore. You seem not to have time for me. You never told me what Howard thought about you turning down the job offer in Florence.” he sits down and stares at me “You did not tell him, didn’t you?”
“He knows, but he thinks it’s a joke.”
“Funny, since when your career is a joke?”
“I take it seriously, you know that. It’s just my priorities are changed”.
“I love you honey, you know I do but you need to pull yourself together. I understand you’re going through a particular moment, hard to miss really, what are you, 12 months pregnant now?”
“You cannot be 12 months pregnant, at least I hope so ‘cause I feel like I am going to explode anytime now. And I am sorry for missing the deadline”
“DeadlineS” he points out.
“Deadlines, you’re right. I tried to write but I’m tired all the time and lonely. When Howard’s home he’s the only thing I can concentrate on. I think I might have developed some sort of allergy to computer work” try to crack another joke but he’s not laughing.
“Listen to me, I don’t like to play this part but we both have responsibilities. You knew the book was going to be a challenge and we all thought you were up to it. Maybe I was wrong. You seem more focused on the belly dancer’s career than yours.”
“That’s unfair, Howard can sing too”. Again, I’m not funny anymore.
“Let’s be serious, the man has a lisp. Besides, we’re not here to discuss his talent, I asked you to come because I decided to give the project to Stephan. He’s going to write the book but considering the amount of research work you did I might consider including your name among the editors if you wish”
“Over your dead body!” – he laughs this time, keep going, that is the right path. “It is my project and if you think I will let Stephan steal it from me you are wrong. I can still do it. Please? I just need some more time. Few months, maybe a year…It’s still me, you owe it to me.”
He seems to be thinking about it. Please, please, please.
“I might be able to convince the publishing company we can wait one more year. But if I do I need you to give me your word. You will submit a chapter every 6 weeks, no excuses. You miss a deadline you’re out. Is that understood?”
“Yes, yes, yes thousand times yes!”
I’m about to leave his office, I slowly get up from the chair when he adds “just remember, no man defines who you are”.
I’m so tired of his petty remarks “Howard does not define me, you know better than that. We are a family. Maybe if you’d live this office or your precious books once every 50 years you’d know there’s a whole world out there!”
“Prove it!” He did it again, he took me right where he wanted me to be, after 5 years he gets me every time “come to Boston”.
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