SPARKS 10

Annoying ‘beep beep” coming from my mobile. I open my eye and check my watch. 6.45. Time to go. Julie’s still sleeping. *Shit my Gucci dress. All wrinkled. Double shit. Oh my head hurts.*
I get up, making sure I don’t wake her up. I find a pair of sweatpants and my ‘Renaissance men do it better’ t-shirt. Head to the bathroom to find Gordon asleep on the floor. *How much did we drink?*
Leave the bathroom and I go splashing my face on the kitchen sink. I place my black dress on a chair and close the door behind me.
I call a cab and I finally get home, they are all still sleeping, *first stop the kitchen, coffee and aspirin, I’ll be as good as new*
“Sort of hoping you’d be back before I left”
I jump, letting my favorite mug fall on the floor where it smashes into million peaces “Howard what the heck! It’s the second time in less than 12 hours you scare the hell out of me! Don’t you have a house?” *I did not even brush my teeth*
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Let me clean it” he’s kneeling in front of me, trying to pick up all the peaces. My hand moves to touch his hair but I take it back just in time before he turns to look at me “In fact I don’t have a house. I’m redoing the floors in my apartment. It’s taking it forever though. I’m staying with Jason but he had company last night. I didn’t want to be on the way. I spent the night here. I’m so sorry”
“No need to”
He stands up again, throws what was my mug in the garbage and places his hands on my shoulders “I mean it, I’m sorry about last night”
“Apology accepted, let’s not talk about it” *feel like crying*
“It’s not a good period for me, the other day, the phone call, it was my ex” *his ex, not the current one, why don’t I just shoot myself, he’s not even a Type H, he’s just a natural born cheater* “I was supposed to spend the week-end with my daughter; her mother changed her mind at the last minute. We had a long chat last night after I left the restaurant and I’m going to pick my baby up now. We’ll be back by lunch time”
“I’m happy for you”
“I would have never followed you in that restroom if I was in a right state of mind”
*of course, why would you?* My brain is just screaming, *pathetic and delusional* over and over.
“I like you very much, I guess you know it, but the restroom! It’s just so ‘Unfaithful’ don’t you think? Are we ok? We are going to spend a lot of time together, we need to get along”
“Of course we are”
“Great, I’ll go now, see you later”, places a chaste kiss on my forehead and leaves.
The kitchen is empty; I look around me and run to my room. Get into the shower and cry myself to oblivion.
Julie’s mobile rings for a time that is like forever “you better have a good excuse”
“Julie it’s me”
“Why are you crying? What happened?”
“He said he’s sorry”
I can see her struggling to come up with rational sentences “You saw him? Stop crying, I don’t understand what you’re trying to say”
“He said he’s sorry. Have you ever heard of anything more humiliating than that? He regrets following me to the restroom”
“Honey maybe it’s not what he meant”
“I do speak English! I’m a moron, a shipwrecked, lonely, man-proof moron. I went to bed last night thinking he wanted me, you said he wanted me, and this morning, poof, I’m a white pair of jeans in September. Speaking of which, you can keep the dress; I won’t wear it ever again, it’s cursed”
“I’m coming over”
“No, it’s time I wake up the kids”
“You don’t need the bloody job! Come back home and we can talk”
“I need the job, the kids are keeping me together. He kissed my forehead! Do you understand? My bloody forehead! That is the ultimate kiss of death! He should have just shot me! A simple gesture and he downgraded me among the non-datable women. Pathetic!”
“The fact he doesn’t…”
“Don’t say it, because let’s face it, lately no one wants me! They even have sex with men so they won’t have to deal with me. I’m to men what kryptonite is to Superman”
……
“If the world’s fattest twins are married then there is hope for all of us”
I stay there, with my mobile in my hand, while my mind is trying to comprehend her last sentence and tears turn into laughter
*that’s why I called her* “Thanks”“You’re welcome, I’ll call you later”

I wash my face and wake the kids up. We’re all in the kitchen, Emily and Daniel are having their cereal and Dawn is sipping her coffee.
“How was the party last night?”
“The place is plain horrible but the food is unbelievable! Julie was so happy, but I guess we overdid the beverages”
“It was a party! So while you we having a blast the glamorous Barlow couple was watching ‘The little mermaid’ with the offspring. I think it was really sweet of Howard to ask Gary to sing her happy birthday”
“I guess”
“He’s very charming, you don’t know him but he’s as good as gold”
“I guess”
“He had a guilty face when he came back last night”
“I don’t want to talk about it”
“If there was something wrong you would tell me right?”
“Of course I would”

I look outside and open my arms “Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this sun of York! It’s a magnificent morning, let’s go out and play ‘1, 2, 3 stella’!”
“What is it?” Emily asks
“Let’s learn how to say it first, oo-noh, doo-eh, treh, stella!”
“How do we play it?”
“Well Daniel, I am going to stay at the end of the garden, with my back at you and I’ll count oo-noh, doo-eh, treh, stella. When I say stella I turn and you have to freeze, if you move you’re out”
“It’s green light read light” says Daniel
“But in Italian is funnier, especially because we can make up our own rules!”
We start playing and Gary decides to join us. We’re in the middle of the game when Howard comes into the garden with his daughter.
We all great them and Daniel introduces me to Gracie.
“I don’t know what you’re doing but we’re going to join you!” says Howard.
“I don’t know … we’re picky when it comes to Italian games, let me consult with my mates here” we move to the center of the garden and vote.
“It’s your lucky day Doug!” laughs Gary.
I start counting again, and again, Howard and Daniel are getting dangerously close. I go ‘oo-noh, doo-eh, treh, stella!” and I turn, my nose is 2 inches away from Howard’s, he smiles at me *less than 12 hours ago you were ready to bury your tongue into my throat, now you’re staying in front of me like we’re best buddies. I should have learned my lesson by now*, I smile back *ice queen, that’s what I am*. Daniel is basically standing on my feet. I take my time “so you’ve almost wan” walking between them, like I’m a general inspecting imaginary troops “you need to be really still, very, tremendously and extremely still to win this game” Howard doesn’t move but says “cut the crap, you’re doomed, kneel in front of the ruler”
“What about me? I could win too uncle Howard”
“Of course you could Daniel, but I won’t let you, I’m bigger and my legs are longer, you don’t stand a chance shorty”.
I laugh. “If you move you’re out”
“I’m not moving I’m talking” but I look behind his back, my expressions changes “Gracie is everything fine?” Howard put his foot on the ground and turns to see what happened.
“And you’re OOOOUUUUUTTTTTT” I yell jumping. “You’re out, out, oouuuttttt. Let’s go on with the game”
He looks at me, hands on his hips “that’s unfair, you cheated!”“Don’t know what you’re talking about, I just asked Gracie if she was ok. You cannot blame me for being a controlling parent”
He stomps his foot on the ground “Gaz tell her it’s not fair”
“You know the rules. You moved, besides little Barlow is going to win”
“Howard I’m telling you for the last time, go take a seat, you’re out” *or we could just cut the acting and go to my room*
“I’m gonna tell Dawn!”
He’s not paying any attention to me, *where’s last night Howard? The one who wanted me so bad?*
“Daddy let us play”
“You too? Fine, if you don’t want me I don’t want you. I’ll go play inside to a better, funnier game”
“Bye”
“Bye”
“Bye”
“Bye”
“Bye” we all say and wave.