SPARKS 11

Howard enters the kitchen, Dawn is slicing some vegetables.
“I was cheated out of the game”
“I heard, you were all screaming so loud I thought you were declaring war on our neighbor” he gets closer and pick a piece of cheese from the plate.
She playfully slaps his hand “go wash your hands first”, he smiles back.
“What happened last night?”
He’s taken by surprise “why? What have you heard?”
“So something did happen. What is it?”
“Nothing” and his eyes fix the floor.
“Not looking into my eyes. So your either extremely fascinated by my Italian tiles or your are extremely fascinated by my Italian nanny ”
“Promise you won’t get mad at me”
“What did you do?”
“I almost kissed her”
She puts down the knife “what do I have to do to put same sense in that brain of yours?”
“Nothing, Julie did it for you. She lectured me like there’s no tomorrow. I’ll be a good boy and behave. I’m blaming it on the mess my life is. You know. 2 houses, 2 countries, 2 children, the tour. I was looking at her before, she’s not even that hot.”
“You’re such a gentleman. Promise to stay away from her?”
“Cross my heart. We had a little chat this morning and we agreed on being just friends. I saw you lurking before. You saw us, no sexual tension whatsoever” and kisses on her cheek .
“I want to believe you but I’m watching you.”
“I am allowed to do some innocent flirting though? That is fun!”.
“As long as it is totally and utterly platonic”
He looks at her “plawhat?”
She throws a wet sponge at him “you know what I mean. Call your partners in crime, lunch is ready.”

The kids decide to have a picnic lunch in the garden so the four of us are sitting at the table.

“We need to get him something he’ll remember” Gaz says
“It’s so hard to shop for Jason, can’t do clothing because he likes to try stuff on over and over, can’t do watches or books or anything sporty.. Doug do you have any idea? His birthday is in a few days” Dawn asks “why are you looking at me? the fact we have been roomy for the past 2 weeks doesn’t mean I know him any better than you do.”
“there must be something he said he wants” Dawn is not ready to give up.
“maybe … but I can’t say. I am sworn to secrecy”
Gaz gets up and in a split second he’s holding him by the ear
“Gary that hurts, let me go”, he pulls his ear more “confess! If you don’t I’ll let Dawn take my place and it will be trouble!”
I look at them and smile, trying to remember how old are they.
“I can’t, I won’t, I’m stronger than the two of you evil married couple. The only thing you’ll get from me is my name and mobile number”
“I warned you wicked DJ! Dawn, you know what to do” and she starts tickling him. he cannot move and after few minutes starts yelling “alright, enough, enough! He needs a good divorce lawyer”
“Jason’s married?” I ask’
They all look at me like I’m insane. “Not him, her” and Howard winks “she is married”
“That’s why he would not introduce her to us. That’s a relief, I thought he didn’t like us enough” Gary says.
Dawn shakes her head “it’s such a good thing you can write music love, because let’s face it, you’re not the brightest of men”
“Or the cutest” Howard adds. “But enough talking about Jay and his wicked love life”. Turns to me “so Bea, who are you?”
“Me? Italian, female, fairly educated, nanny. Why?
“I’m telling you, you look nothing like Mary Poppins”
“If I hear this Mary Poppins crap once more I’m going to strangle you Howard”
“Mary … Poppins” and smile at me. *Good, so that’s what is going to be from now on, innocent flirting. I hate you*
“Don’t kill him, it is way too late to replace him” Gary pretends to beg.
“I guess I can postpone his execution, it would not look good in my resume. Can give first aid but killed a man”
“You know nothing about first aid, you’re making it up” he adds mocking me.
“I know everything there is to know about first aid.”
He crosses his arms “let’s hear it”
“When you are in front of someone who was seriously injured in a car crash, ambulance is on the way, what are you supposed to do?”
“Not to touch him until the paramedics arrive” he answers, we could just be alone in here, Gary and Dawn are totally excluded from our conversation.
“Precisely! That’s what I do, stay there and not move. Even if they beg me, I do nothing. I might even kick them if they attempt to move. Nobody messes up with my first aid job”
He looks at me and burst into laughter “Mary Mental Poppins”
“Gromit”
“I’m not a dog”
“He talks more than you do!” Dawn add.
He ignores her. “Are you eating your fries?” asks me
“No” and he starts eating off my plate *twilight zone, that’s where I am*