I’m getting the kids ready to leave the house and face a gloomy Monday morning.
“We are rehearsing until 5 this afternoon. Maybe you could come by” Dawn suggests.
“I’d love to; I’m taking the kids to an art workshop at the National Gallery at 11.00 so it would just work out perfect for us”
“I like what you’re doing with them. They are very happy to spend time with you, even though Daniel said something about you singing the Hokey-Pokey when he scored a goal” and laughs.
“I know… that was beyond embarrassment, believe me”
“I talked to Gary, the job is yours if you want it”
“Really? That is brilliant news, thanks!”
“You look like a smart woman, but sometimes it’s hard to keep a right perspective on things.” Her expression is suddenly serious, “I saw the way you look at him. To him flirting is like breathing. He’s not leaving her”
*cut the pretending act* “I know, I just need to get used to the idea”
“The sooner the better. I know having him here for the week-end didn’t help, but he’ll be back at Jason’s when he comes back”
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to make the same mistake twice and besides you saw him. He’s not into me”
We get to the rehearsing studio at 4 and Julie is sitting on a chair, totally mesmerized by what she’s seeing. I walk to her “I’ve been trying to call you all day long! Where have you been?”
She doesn’t stop looking at Gary for a second “here, what do you think? McHorny got me a bloody pass, I’m thinking about quitting my job”
“Weren’t you supposed to meet my uncle Will for the two Hopper?”
“Called in sick, I’m busy can’t you see?”
I’m about to answer when her face goes red “hottest-thing-ever!”, her voice is just a hiss, “hot, hot, hot”. And I turn and I see them,
“This is heaven, maybe I should shag McHorny to thank him” and drinks from her bottle. Julie checks her watch “Caro is about to loose her bet. You can have her husband. You wan yourself a date to bring to my wedding. Problem solved! Aren’t you happy? Don’t forget you still need to buy a dress”
“She already lost her bet … wait a minute, how do you know?”
“I knew before you knew. Amateur! She said 24 hours but we decided we should consider time difference between here and Thailand and here and Germany, and Thailand and Germany, so after a few calculations we came up with a 5 p.m. Greenwich Time deadline”
“The two of you are mental”
“You’ll let her shag one of them!”
“Shush!” I take her arm and drag her outside “you should say it a little louder, there’s a nice lady in Paris who didn’t hear you”
“This could be a major event! We felt like we needed to establish some ground rules. Like, he comes back, but with her - we decided we are going to refer to her as her, no names or adjectives, just her – Caro loses and you get drunk. He comes back with child – she wins, you … not so much. He comes back alone – she wins and you get to shag him, take pictures, maybe a video, and show it to us. What do you think?”
“I don’t know. I’m scared I guess. Besides, this is nonsense. He’s not coming back and they’re not MINE” I guess I raised my voice, so I repeat it lowering it “they are not mine. What am I supposed to do? Knock on their door and tell them something like ‘Guys I lost a bet, one of you has to shag my lunatic friend?”
“Good idea, I would skip the lunatic part though. You won’t let her have Gary right? You wouldn’t do it to me? Right?”
I roll my eyes and open my arms “why do I even bother talking to you? And why are you so interested all of the sudden? You were the one banging on the bathroom door only 3 days ago! The lecture on rules, family, remember? Did you hit your head on the way here this morning?”
“Truth is I don’t like him. I don’t think he’s good for you but Caro gave me a new perspective on things”
I’m about to explode “She’s not even here, she’s thousands miles away”
“She had a feeling”
“A feeling”
“Like the one she had when she met Felix and said she was going to marry him in 6 months”
“And it was 4 months ago”
“Right, besides she had me thinking. You had nice, educated and proper men around you all your life and didn’t work out. Paolo, too good too be true, and we eventually learned he was not true … sorry shouldn’t be laughing. So maybe some more … rough action could do you good”
“I cannot believe it. Look at me, I am a freak! You are supposed to be the wise one. I need your help here. I’m already living a life that is not mine. You convinced me it was wrong. ”
“Maybe I was wrong. I promised her I will not interfere. Tricia is visiting her mom with the twins but she asked me to show you her text” she takes her mobile from her handbag and let me read ‘Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne is to become your mantra. We’re going to the mattresses!’
I shake my head. “I want to go home” I whisper “It’s too late, he’s not interested and he’s not leaving her”
“We’ll see. It’s four against one now. But I had some work done too today! Gary is thinking about buying some modern art, he asked me if I can help him”
“Don’t over charge him”
“He might be interested in something important, valuable and Spanish”
“Hum and why should I care?”
“I was thinking Picasso”
“Not many of those in the market nowadays I’m afraid”
“That’s why he asked for my help” She rests her head on my shoulder doing puppy eyes “well… you ….”
“You must be out of your mind.”
“He would be so impressed”
“Not selling it”
“Please”
“He loves his wife”
“I know and I love Gordon, but we could be best mates, just like you and Howard” and laughs
“You think you’re funny. But as” and I check my watch “now you are excluded from my will”
“I don’t care, I’m two years older than you, I’ll probably drop dead first”
“Too bad because you were getting the Picasso”
“I should keep my big mouth shut”
“And not making fun of your friends”
“I agree, what I did was despicable!”
“Still not selling it”
“Damn it!”
“Let’s go back inside my delusional friend. And tell Caro she lost, he’s not coming back”.
Dawn takes a break and comes to talk to us. “Mark and Emma are coming over for dinner, maybe you would like to join us Julie?”
She looks around her to check if there is another Julie she might be talking to and smile “Yes! I would love to”
“And you can bring your fiancée too”
“Thanks but he’s in Rome today, he’ll be so disappointed”. She looks at her watch, it’s 5 o’clock and looks at me “I’m sorry Hun.”
“Don’t worry, I wasn’t expecting him to come through that door, I’ll see you later at home”
“We are rehearsing until 5 this afternoon. Maybe you could come by” Dawn suggests.
“I’d love to; I’m taking the kids to an art workshop at the National Gallery at 11.00 so it would just work out perfect for us”
“I like what you’re doing with them. They are very happy to spend time with you, even though Daniel said something about you singing the Hokey-Pokey when he scored a goal” and laughs.
“I know… that was beyond embarrassment, believe me”
“I talked to Gary, the job is yours if you want it”
“Really? That is brilliant news, thanks!”
“You look like a smart woman, but sometimes it’s hard to keep a right perspective on things.” Her expression is suddenly serious, “I saw the way you look at him. To him flirting is like breathing. He’s not leaving her”
*cut the pretending act* “I know, I just need to get used to the idea”
“The sooner the better. I know having him here for the week-end didn’t help, but he’ll be back at Jason’s when he comes back”
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to make the same mistake twice and besides you saw him. He’s not into me”
We get to the rehearsing studio at 4 and Julie is sitting on a chair, totally mesmerized by what she’s seeing. I walk to her “I’ve been trying to call you all day long! Where have you been?”
She doesn’t stop looking at Gary for a second “here, what do you think? McHorny got me a bloody pass, I’m thinking about quitting my job”
“Weren’t you supposed to meet my uncle Will for the two Hopper?”
“Called in sick, I’m busy can’t you see?”
I’m about to answer when her face goes red “hottest-thing-ever!”, her voice is just a hiss, “hot, hot, hot”. And I turn and I see them,
“This is heaven, maybe I should shag McHorny to thank him” and drinks from her bottle. Julie checks her watch “Caro is about to loose her bet. You can have her husband. You wan yourself a date to bring to my wedding. Problem solved! Aren’t you happy? Don’t forget you still need to buy a dress”
“She already lost her bet … wait a minute, how do you know?”
“I knew before you knew. Amateur! She said 24 hours but we decided we should consider time difference between here and Thailand and here and Germany, and Thailand and Germany, so after a few calculations we came up with a 5 p.m. Greenwich Time deadline”
“The two of you are mental”
“You’ll let her shag one of them!”
“Shush!” I take her arm and drag her outside “you should say it a little louder, there’s a nice lady in Paris who didn’t hear you”
“This could be a major event! We felt like we needed to establish some ground rules. Like, he comes back, but with her - we decided we are going to refer to her as her, no names or adjectives, just her – Caro loses and you get drunk. He comes back with child – she wins, you … not so much. He comes back alone – she wins and you get to shag him, take pictures, maybe a video, and show it to us. What do you think?”
“I don’t know. I’m scared I guess. Besides, this is nonsense. He’s not coming back and they’re not MINE” I guess I raised my voice, so I repeat it lowering it “they are not mine. What am I supposed to do? Knock on their door and tell them something like ‘Guys I lost a bet, one of you has to shag my lunatic friend?”
“Good idea, I would skip the lunatic part though. You won’t let her have Gary right? You wouldn’t do it to me? Right?”
I roll my eyes and open my arms “why do I even bother talking to you? And why are you so interested all of the sudden? You were the one banging on the bathroom door only 3 days ago! The lecture on rules, family, remember? Did you hit your head on the way here this morning?”
“Truth is I don’t like him. I don’t think he’s good for you but Caro gave me a new perspective on things”
I’m about to explode “She’s not even here, she’s thousands miles away”
“She had a feeling”
“A feeling”
“Like the one she had when she met Felix and said she was going to marry him in 6 months”
“And it was 4 months ago”
“Right, besides she had me thinking. You had nice, educated and proper men around you all your life and didn’t work out. Paolo, too good too be true, and we eventually learned he was not true … sorry shouldn’t be laughing. So maybe some more … rough action could do you good”
“I cannot believe it. Look at me, I am a freak! You are supposed to be the wise one. I need your help here. I’m already living a life that is not mine. You convinced me it was wrong. ”
“Maybe I was wrong. I promised her I will not interfere. Tricia is visiting her mom with the twins but she asked me to show you her text” she takes her mobile from her handbag and let me read ‘Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne is to become your mantra. We’re going to the mattresses!’
I shake my head. “I want to go home” I whisper “It’s too late, he’s not interested and he’s not leaving her”
“We’ll see. It’s four against one now. But I had some work done too today! Gary is thinking about buying some modern art, he asked me if I can help him”
“Don’t over charge him”
“He might be interested in something important, valuable and Spanish”
“Hum and why should I care?”
“I was thinking Picasso”
“Not many of those in the market nowadays I’m afraid”
“That’s why he asked for my help” She rests her head on my shoulder doing puppy eyes “well… you ….”
“You must be out of your mind.”
“He would be so impressed”
“Not selling it”
“Please”
“He loves his wife”
“I know and I love Gordon, but we could be best mates, just like you and Howard” and laughs
“You think you’re funny. But as” and I check my watch “now you are excluded from my will”
“I don’t care, I’m two years older than you, I’ll probably drop dead first”
“Too bad because you were getting the Picasso”
“I should keep my big mouth shut”
“And not making fun of your friends”
“I agree, what I did was despicable!”
“Still not selling it”
“Damn it!”
“Let’s go back inside my delusional friend. And tell Caro she lost, he’s not coming back”.
Dawn takes a break and comes to talk to us. “Mark and Emma are coming over for dinner, maybe you would like to join us Julie?”
She looks around her to check if there is another Julie she might be talking to and smile “Yes! I would love to”
“And you can bring your fiancée too”
“Thanks but he’s in Rome today, he’ll be so disappointed”. She looks at her watch, it’s 5 o’clock and looks at me “I’m sorry Hun.”
“Don’t worry, I wasn’t expecting him to come through that door, I’ll see you later at home”
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