I’m on my way to the Barlow’s mansion and my mobile keeps on ringing; Julie has been sending me texts for the past 2 hours
‘get the job’
‘get’
‘the’
‘job’
‘If you don’t accept I kill you’
‘No, I’ll kill my self’
‘Please?’
‘BTW Gordon and Peter are meeting us at the restaurant’.
*this Take That fan thing is becoming hilarious, or she is plain crazy and therefore has multiple personalities* I decide to switch it off, just in case she decides to call me back in the middle of my job interview.
The house is really beautiful, and huge, and really white too. I ring the bell and a very cute blonde opens it.
“You must be Beatrice, please come in, I’m Dawn” *or what Julie would call you, the ultimate evil*
“Hi, nice to meet you”
We walk to the living room “This is my husband Gary” he shakes my hand.
I look at him, not really my type *Julie and I will never fight over a man*.
We sit down and drink some iced tea.
“We read your c.v. It is impressive. I’m sorry but I have to ask you, why do you want to take care of children when you could obviously do something else?” he asks.
*so much for being a love-song writer. Straight to the point. No preliminaries, shame on you Mr. Barlow, this is no way to treat a woman*
Dawn probably reads my mind because she adds “our last nanny left us with no notice. We need someone as right now and on paper you seem perfect. But we need to be careful. I hope you understand”
I sigh “Of course I do, and you seem nice people, so to make a long story short I was supposed to get married 6 weeks ago. A dream wedding in a Tuscan villa. Millions of guests, sunflowers and shooting stars. The groom was the son and heir of one of the most important families in Florence. The night before the wedding I felt lonely and decided to pay him a surprise visit”
“Ouch” says Gary
“I know, so pathetic is not even funny or original, so I get there and I find him in bed with my best friend”
“I’m sorry, it must have been awful” add Dawn
“Oh no, we went way beyond awful. Stupid English language forcing me to spell it out every time. My best friend’s name is Josh”
Gary bursts out laughing and spits all his iced tea on the table “I’m sorry, maybe it is not fun but it is definitely original”
“Please forgive him, he has no manners”
“That’s fine. I’m used to it. My friend Gordon came to rescue me that night and said ‘you should start using your magic power to fight crime instead of turning men gay’” I turn toward Gary “could you please at least pretend to care?”
Can’t even manage to answer, he’s laughing too hard.
“Anyway, his mother, aka the old aristocratic witch, offered me the apartment they bought for us in return for my silence. It is a four bedroom flat overlooking Ponte Vecchio. So I told myself to go for it, we signed the papers and the moment I left their solicitor’s office I basically issued a press release containing all the juicy details, the ones I could remember at least, and faxed it to all the people we know. But Florence is a small city. They already got the hint when Paolo and Josh moved to San Francisco. Can you believe they had the gut to send me a postcard? It was supposed to be my honeymoon - Gary, I’m serious, you don’t stop laughing I might get mad - I could not stay there, so I talked to my boss, and left my job at the Uffizi for a year. And here I am. I’m ready for a career change and I like children very much. I also re-read Jane Eyre recently!” and smile *I talk to much, shut up for a minute, you’ll scare them*
“If my husband could be serious for just a minute he would tell you we like you”
“You’re hilarious” manages to say
“And you’re so considerate; does it come in the same package as being a musician?”
“It’s such a relief you are not a fan. Ignore him. You get used to it after a while. We have two children, Daniel is 7 and Emily is 5.”
“I know, my roommate is like the ultimate Gary’s worshipper. This morning she was mumbling something about embroidered sheets with your initials on. She’s armless but if you see a petite brunette walking in front of the house you should probably call the police”
“Do you think you can deal with two kids?”
“I used to deal with Italian bureaucracy every day; it will be a piece of cake”
“Could you start tomorrow? We could have a week trial and see how it goes”
“Free as a bird. But there’s something else, the agency told me you’re looking for someone 24/7. I really need my week-ends off”
“It’s not what we expected but at the moment is either you or a Russian 50 years old lady who does not speak English”
“Though choice…”
“I guess we could try. You could stay with us from Monday 8 a.m. to Friday at 6 p.m. We’ll sort out week-ends someway. But there’s a tour coming up, we need to know you’re willing to come with us”
“That would be totally fun!”
“Perfect. See you tomorrow at 8, we’ll drive them together to school, it’s their last day”
Julie is waiting for me at the table of our favorite pub. She looks like a teen-ager who kissed her prince charming for the first time “So?”
“So what?”
“The suspense is killing me”
“I’m in for a week trial”
“Yes! Yes! You are a true, devoted friend! Drinks are on me tonight. So how is he?”
“Blond”
“Arghhhhhh”
“He seems nice, but she’s nicer, I’m sorry”
She closes her eyes “no talking about the woman who stole my love”
“He doesn’t even know you exist. No, that is not correct, they know you exist. In case you’re thinking about showing up at the house, they have been instructed to call the police”
“Gary knows about me. That is fantastic”
“You are a very undemanding person”
“No time for chatting now, we need to get started. I’ll be right back” after few minutes she’s back with the first round of drinks and she places a large amount of magazines and other things on the table.
“Why, what?”“Take That 101, lesson 1, chapter 1. I put together a two pages memo on the history of the band, major hits and tours. The extra page is all about the day Robbie left… and their last press conference…”
“Are you going to cry?”
“You don’t understand, it is a very disturbing subject”
“and you are a disturbed person”
“Anyway! I selected few pictures and I have a couple of DVDs you need to watch. See” pointing at four very cute men standing by a plane and smiling at the camera “this is Gary, Mark, Jason and Howard. In case your very much sex deprived mind is already at work, we are very sorry to inform you item 1, 2, and 4 are no longer available”.
‘get the job’
‘get’
‘the’
‘job’
‘If you don’t accept I kill you’
‘No, I’ll kill my self’
‘Please?’
‘BTW Gordon and Peter are meeting us at the restaurant’.
*this Take That fan thing is becoming hilarious, or she is plain crazy and therefore has multiple personalities* I decide to switch it off, just in case she decides to call me back in the middle of my job interview.
The house is really beautiful, and huge, and really white too. I ring the bell and a very cute blonde opens it.
“You must be Beatrice, please come in, I’m Dawn” *or what Julie would call you, the ultimate evil*
“Hi, nice to meet you”
We walk to the living room “This is my husband Gary” he shakes my hand.
I look at him, not really my type *Julie and I will never fight over a man*.
We sit down and drink some iced tea.
“We read your c.v. It is impressive. I’m sorry but I have to ask you, why do you want to take care of children when you could obviously do something else?” he asks.
*so much for being a love-song writer. Straight to the point. No preliminaries, shame on you Mr. Barlow, this is no way to treat a woman*
Dawn probably reads my mind because she adds “our last nanny left us with no notice. We need someone as right now and on paper you seem perfect. But we need to be careful. I hope you understand”
I sigh “Of course I do, and you seem nice people, so to make a long story short I was supposed to get married 6 weeks ago. A dream wedding in a Tuscan villa. Millions of guests, sunflowers and shooting stars. The groom was the son and heir of one of the most important families in Florence. The night before the wedding I felt lonely and decided to pay him a surprise visit”
“Ouch” says Gary
“I know, so pathetic is not even funny or original, so I get there and I find him in bed with my best friend”
“I’m sorry, it must have been awful” add Dawn
“Oh no, we went way beyond awful. Stupid English language forcing me to spell it out every time. My best friend’s name is Josh”
Gary bursts out laughing and spits all his iced tea on the table “I’m sorry, maybe it is not fun but it is definitely original”
“Please forgive him, he has no manners”
“That’s fine. I’m used to it. My friend Gordon came to rescue me that night and said ‘you should start using your magic power to fight crime instead of turning men gay’” I turn toward Gary “could you please at least pretend to care?”
Can’t even manage to answer, he’s laughing too hard.
“Anyway, his mother, aka the old aristocratic witch, offered me the apartment they bought for us in return for my silence. It is a four bedroom flat overlooking Ponte Vecchio. So I told myself to go for it, we signed the papers and the moment I left their solicitor’s office I basically issued a press release containing all the juicy details, the ones I could remember at least, and faxed it to all the people we know. But Florence is a small city. They already got the hint when Paolo and Josh moved to San Francisco. Can you believe they had the gut to send me a postcard? It was supposed to be my honeymoon - Gary, I’m serious, you don’t stop laughing I might get mad - I could not stay there, so I talked to my boss, and left my job at the Uffizi for a year. And here I am. I’m ready for a career change and I like children very much. I also re-read Jane Eyre recently!” and smile *I talk to much, shut up for a minute, you’ll scare them*
“If my husband could be serious for just a minute he would tell you we like you”
“You’re hilarious” manages to say
“And you’re so considerate; does it come in the same package as being a musician?”
“It’s such a relief you are not a fan. Ignore him. You get used to it after a while. We have two children, Daniel is 7 and Emily is 5.”
“I know, my roommate is like the ultimate Gary’s worshipper. This morning she was mumbling something about embroidered sheets with your initials on. She’s armless but if you see a petite brunette walking in front of the house you should probably call the police”
“Do you think you can deal with two kids?”
“I used to deal with Italian bureaucracy every day; it will be a piece of cake”
“Could you start tomorrow? We could have a week trial and see how it goes”
“Free as a bird. But there’s something else, the agency told me you’re looking for someone 24/7. I really need my week-ends off”
“It’s not what we expected but at the moment is either you or a Russian 50 years old lady who does not speak English”
“Though choice…”
“I guess we could try. You could stay with us from Monday 8 a.m. to Friday at 6 p.m. We’ll sort out week-ends someway. But there’s a tour coming up, we need to know you’re willing to come with us”
“That would be totally fun!”
“Perfect. See you tomorrow at 8, we’ll drive them together to school, it’s their last day”
Julie is waiting for me at the table of our favorite pub. She looks like a teen-ager who kissed her prince charming for the first time “So?”
“So what?”
“The suspense is killing me”
“I’m in for a week trial”
“Yes! Yes! You are a true, devoted friend! Drinks are on me tonight. So how is he?”
“Blond”
“Arghhhhhh”
“He seems nice, but she’s nicer, I’m sorry”
She closes her eyes “no talking about the woman who stole my love”
“He doesn’t even know you exist. No, that is not correct, they know you exist. In case you’re thinking about showing up at the house, they have been instructed to call the police”
“Gary knows about me. That is fantastic”
“You are a very undemanding person”
“No time for chatting now, we need to get started. I’ll be right back” after few minutes she’s back with the first round of drinks and she places a large amount of magazines and other things on the table.
“Why, what?”“Take That 101, lesson 1, chapter 1. I put together a two pages memo on the history of the band, major hits and tours. The extra page is all about the day Robbie left… and their last press conference…”
“Are you going to cry?”
“You don’t understand, it is a very disturbing subject”
“and you are a disturbed person”
“Anyway! I selected few pictures and I have a couple of DVDs you need to watch. See” pointing at four very cute men standing by a plane and smiling at the camera “this is Gary, Mark, Jason and Howard. In case your very much sex deprived mind is already at work, we are very sorry to inform you item 1, 2, and 4 are no longer available”.
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