I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE DJ 2

“Morning love” Howard whispers into my ear. “Rise and shine”
I roll on my back stretching my arms. I slowly open my eyes and I see him sitting on the side of the bed looking at me. He’s smiling. I look at him puzzled “what are you doing here?”
He caresses my hair “I live here, remember?” and gently kisses my lips.
I haven’t let him anywhere near me over the past 48 hours. I’ve spent as much time as I could outside or pretended to be dead tired at night.
“Breakfast in bed” he says satisfied pointing at the tray on the bedside table.
*to celebrate the slaughter of the innocent?* But I keep it for me, he’s not forcing me. It’s my choice.
I smile back, weakly, “not hungry, I threw up last night and once already this morning”
“I heard you, I was next door. I wanted to check on you but you made it clear…”
“I need some space, that’s it”
“I hate sleeping in the guests’ room. How you feel now?”
“Great, can’t you tell?”
“It’ll be over soon”
“Right, thanks for reminding me”
He ignores my last remark so I suddenly push myself up to sitting position leaning against the headboard.
He laughs trying not to spill the juice as I move “this is a sun juice, pure vitamin C” and I see his eyes trailing down the sheets. I’m wearing my ‘grumpy but gorgeous’ PJ.
“I miss you” and places the glass on the tray. He gently pulls the sheets away from me revealing my bare legs. I give him my ‘don’t even think about it’ look and cover them back. He looks disappointed, and that’s the moment I realize there’s music playing too. It’s Joss Stone’s ‘Tell me what we’re gonna do’. I love this song and he knows it. I caress his cheek, almost by default.
"No, Howard, I’m not in the mood...did you say something about a fantastic breakfast?"He clears his throat but no words come out so he just nods dumbly. He leans and his lips touch the corner of her mouth. “I love you”

‘You don't have to make your mind up
I just wanna take my time with you yeah
If that's alrightit's alright it's alright
Oh forgive me if I get to shy
but maybe you're the reason why
I'm feelin' butterflies
I feel it too
Somethin' bout the look in your eyes
Oooh it just makes me feel so right’

“I know, it’s just… it’s too much” I answer him
He nods and leans over to gently kiss my chin. This time, he puts a little more effort in. His lips parts slowly moving against my skin. Sliding and sucking gently, he then pulls away and again smiles at me.
“It’s going to be alright. I’ll be right by your side” he whispers. I can hear his breathing. I reach up with my hand and touch the back of his neck. I can feel his tongue teasing my skin.

‘Well you're my boy
You're my joy
You're my dream
I'm for ya I adore your everything that I need
I love how you love me
If I'm made for you
you're made for me
It's too good to be
So tell me what we're gonna do now’

I arch my back as I feel his tongue touch my breast. He knows exactly what buttons to push. I can feel his tongue teasing me with a slow sucking motion. His lips move along my skin. *it could just be so perfect, we could be perfect*
He moves down and shifts. His arms slide under my legs and his hands gently grip my waist. His tongue now flicks across my skin just above my panties.

‘Funny how my world keeps spinnin'
sometimes you can be so silly
You know just how to make me laugh
YeahYou're skin is so lovely
When you touch me
I know that you got my back
Sure do, yes I do
I feel so safe when you hold me
It's like you know me’

His fingers delicately caress my inner thigh. He whispers softly, his lips brushing against my ear and his warm breath causing little goose bumps on her neck. “Please, let me make love to you, you cannot punish me for this”
I open my eyes wide and push him away “I’m not punishing you. I’m just drowning and you’re standing on the shore watching me gasping for hair”. I get off the bed.
He buries his face on the pillow “tell me what to do!”
I’m about to tell him *change your mind, let’s have this baby* but I know it’s pointless. “I’m taking a shower now”

‘Well you're my boy
You're my joy
You're my dream
I'm for ya I adore your everything that I need
I love how you love meIf I'm made for you’

But first I walk to the stereo and switch it off, “Stupid love song” I mumble
“Titti, please, at least talk to me, I know you’re mad, but it’s all for the best”
I look at him “I know, I’m not blaming you, I need to be at clinic by 10, are you coming?”
He gets off the bed too and almost run to me taking me into his arms “of course I am”
I push him away, “good, you should start getting ready then”


The drive to the posh and super private clinic Howard found is silent. He did try to come up with different topics of conversation until I burst out.
“I might start screaming my head off now. So cut the bloody crap. I don’t give a shit if Gaz thinks the tour will be great or that we should buy a house in Tuscany. I don’t need to be entertained; you’re supposed to support me and not to piss me off”
He got the message loud and clear. We walk inside the clinic together, he’s holding my hand. He does the talking to the super-smiling nurse at the reception. I follow them along the corridor and up the elevator. It’s really fast, I have trouble breathing and I need to lean on Howard. He wraps my shoulder with his arm and kisses my head.
The doctor sees me immediately, I don’t even want to know how much it’s costing him “nothing is too much for you” that’s his catch phrase… I used to like it a lot.
We’re both sitting in his study, “So Dr. Martini, you probably know surgical abortion is a medical procedure that involves minor out-patient surgery. Since you will only be sedated and given pain killers during the procedure there are no risks often associated with anesthesia. You’ll also remain awake and conscious during the abortion.”
“Great” I mumble
“I’ll have to do another ultrasound so to determine how far along you are”
“I did it last week, here it is” and I hand it to him
He smiles “thanks but I tend not to trust the NHS, so if you’ll lie down...”
Howard doesn’t move, he doesn’t want to see.
“He checks the monitor and all the little arrows and lines measuring the pulsing thing inside my womb. No doubt, you’re 6 weeks and 3 days.” He cleans my belly so I can stand up again. “So, a nurse who will be by your side all the way through the procedure, if you have doubts or questions this is the moment to ask them”
I look at Howard who’s looking out of the window, I sigh and smile at the doctor “no, I guess I’m ready”.
Another nurse come and pick me up, I’m about to leave the study when Howard grabs my arm and he’s about to kiss me. I stare at him in disbelief “DON’T-EVEN-THINK-ABOUT-IT”
They all freeze, I turn to the nurse “let’s go”.

We enter into another room “you should wear this” and hands me a green gown. I must be really really pale.
“Is there something wrong?” she asks me
I look at her “don’t want to do it”
“Then don’t”
I’m still staring at her, so simple, so so simple. I smile “you’re right”. Grab my purse and run outside down the corridor like a woman possessed. I pass right in front of and astonished Howard who follows me. I push the elevator button and step in, he makes it inside too right before the door closes. I push the ground floor button biting my lip. He looks at me concerned, “what happened in there? What did they do to you?”
I look into his eyes “I’m having our baby and if you don’t want it it’s fine by me, I can do it on my own. If I get rid of him I’ll never forgive myself”
“But I thought we…. we decided…..”
“I changed my mind” and the speed of the elevator gets me again, I feel dizzy and I need to lean to the metal wall. He grabs me before my knees go weak placing his lips on my forehead. He takes a step backward and runs a finger over my face and down my neck. He sighs “ok… let’s do this…but you need to promise me, no changes. This baby won’t wreck our lives”
“It’s our baby, it’s going to be fine”
He holds me tight and it’s a good thing I can’t see his face because he’s concerned, and scared and disappointed.
We’re not in the car yet and I’m already on the phone “We’re having a baby!!!!!!”
Jo sounds really happy “I’m so glad! This is great news! Did you have to threaten him with a teaser gun?”
“No” and I laugh
“We need to go shopping now”
“Yes we do!!!”
Howard shakes his head almost smiling. Once I’m done with talking to Jo I call my mother and his mother, and his sister, and his brothers, all of them.
I hug him “I’m so so happy love”
“I can tell” he says amused
“You won’t regret this”
“Of course I won’t. You’re a control freak; you won’t let anything happen to us”
My sixth sense alarm starts beeping, I don’t like the sound of it but right now I cannot think about it.
He cups my face and kisses me “people use to love different things, then they have kids and their world is over. I don’t want our perfect world to be over”
“You’re the only one I want to be the father of my children, I’ll take good care of us” and I smile at him.

Once we get home Jason calls him.
“I cannot believe it! You know if someone had told me you and Titti were going to have a family before me I would have laughed at them”
“Who’s laughing now tango man?”
“Don’t call me that”
He laughs scratching his head “Fuck! I’m going to be a father…”
“So, how is it going? Still throwing up?”
“No, I’ve never thrown up, I mean, my back kills me every once in while and I seem to be developing an intolerance to zucchini, but a part from that I would say I’m fine, thanks mate”
“Not you smartass, Titti”
I laugh listening to their conversation, I jump on the couch and on Howard trying to grab his mobile “I’m fine Jason, never been better” I yell so he can hear me.
Howard looks at me “gotta go mate” and hangs up. He cups my face “I’m so glad you’re back to me”
“And I’m back with a vengeance too” and I nibble his ear stroking his manhood using my knee.
“God babe…”
“Time to make it up to you…”