I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE DJ 6

Jason rings at my door, showing up with herbal tea and a cake.
“Morning hunk!” I greet him.
“I’m just checking on you, I believe it’s my duty as future uncle”.
“Come in” and as he walks ahead of me to my tiny kitchen I take my time checking his butt *one sexy butt I must say, stop it! Focus!*
“What are you up today?” I ask him.
“We have a photoshoot, we will be stuck in a studio until 8 tonight. Why?” and he cuts a slice of cake handing it to me.
I take it, “Thanks. I need to get my staff from Howard’s house, now I have a place to put it and I would like him to be out of my way” and I smile weakly.
“You cannot lift weights”
“I know, I’ll just bring boxes, I’ll fill them up and have someone taking care of them afterwards”
He looks around him “you’ll never be able to fit all your things in here”
“I can do magic my dear, just wait and see. Jason?”
“What?”
“Don’t tell him, I don’t want to see you beloved friend”.

I walk to Howard’s front door. My door. I step inside. Nothing has changed. Two weeks and it seems nothing happened. I place the boxes on the floor and I go through our books. I bite my lip not to laugh. Who am I kidding they’re all mine, with few, negligible exceptions. I start taking them down the shelves and into the boxes. My eye is caught by a framed picture on the coffee table. We took it on Jo’s wedding day. We’re smiling and we look really happy, we were really happy. I carefully pack it too. I pass to scan the CDs, it’s too complicated, I decide to take some U2’s and Eric Clapton’s greatest hits leaving everything else behind. I need to get rid of some of my baggage. I look at the boxes and I sigh. I’ve packed a good chunk of my life in less than 3 hours. I look toward the stairs; the hardest part is yet to come. I walk upstairs like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I slowly push the door of our bedroom open. My heart skips a bit. My hand lotion is still on my nightstand as is the book I was reading 2 weeks ago, I open it and my bookmark falls on the floor. A note Howard left me on a mirror few months ago, all decorated with smiling faces and telling me how much he loves me. I feel a lump in my throat. I place the book back and open the wardrobe. I slowly start taking all my clothes, and shoes and handbags. Among my shirts I find one that belongs to Howard. I love it and I used to wear it around the house. I bring it to my face, hoping to find a trace of his smell.
“You can keep it if you want”.
I nearly jump out of my skin and I turn around. I stare at Howard, sitting on the bed, like the day I left. He looks tired.
“You scared me!” I tell him.
“I’m sorry…”
“How long have you been there spying on me?”
“I wasn’t spying, I was looking at you”
“I thought you were supposed to work”
“Jason wasn’t feeling very well, we cancelled the session”
“Jason…” I whisper to myself.
“Don’t blame him, he’s just trying to do his best. I saw the boxes. So it is true, it’s over”
I breathe deep “So can I keep it?” and I hold out his t-shirt.
“Sure” and looks at me running his fingers trough his hair “Isn't this the moment when one of us is supposed to say, look, this is ridiculous, we love each other, let's see if we can sort things out?”
“Love has never been an issue, and you know it. I’m still scary spice Howard. And I’m getting scarier as we speak.”
“Jason told me you always look so sad. You used to laugh all the time”. He leans his back on the bed “shit, this is so fucking complicated”.
“No, it’s not” I’m becoming too emotional, I need to change subject “Boy you’re mother is really mad at you”
“Did you talk to her?”
“Yep…did she make you cry?”
“It’s not funny”
“Speak for yourself” and I try to smile. I look around me and I sigh heavily “That was the last thing. I’m done here”.
“Can you stay for dinner? We could spend some time together…please”.
My heart is screaming *yes* but I cannot afford to be too close to him “No, we better not”.
He looks at me, he’s so sad “this is yours” he says giving me a Tiffany’s box.
“A break-up gift?” *why don’t I keep my big mouth shut?*
He places on the bed. “Saturday was our anniversary, I bought it before you left me” he says quietly.
*I completely forgot*
He looks defeated. “If you give me your new address I’ll have someone deliver all the boxes to you”.
“Thanks” and I write it on a piece of paper. He looks at it “it’s a shitty area” he hisses.
“Said the heir to the throne” I tell him sarcastically.
“I’m just trying to show you I care. Fuck you!” he hisses.
I places my hands on my hips “after you darling”. I look at him, his eyes are a dark shade of a stormy blue, I know what’s coming. He needs it so I simply stay there, waiting for the waves to hit the rock.
“ALL THAT IS HAPPENING, TO US, IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU AND YOUR STUPID MATERNAL SENSE! WE COULD HAVE WAITED! WE COULD STILL BE TOGETHER”
“It takes two to tango, this baby is yours too”, I’m the rock he’s the wave.
“DON’T TALK ABOUT IT!”
“I was only trying to…”
I’M SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT I SHOULD DO!”
“You’re right. I took my decision and you took yours. No-one can say who’s right. Maybe we’re both wrong”
“FOR FUCK’S SAKE, YELL AT ME, I WANT TO FIGHT, I WANT YOU TO SCREAM AT ME AND CALL ME NAMES”
I shake my head “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
He stands up and get close to me cupping my face “please”.
“I can’t fight with you knowing we won’t have great make up sex afterwards”.
He chokes, “we could”.
I want him so bad, I miss him so much, my body aches “No, I can’t afford it”. I bury my fingers into his curls and place my lips on his, we stay there for what it feels like eternity, he slides his hands on my waist and I feel his tongue searching for access. I pull back “I’m sorry” and I leave.



I get back home to find Russell sitting with his back against my door. “What are you doing here?” I ask annoyed
“You look like shit”
“And you’re so charming, sod off, I’m not in the mood”
“I have Chinese take-away” he says smiling.
I sigh, “You can come in then” I say stepping over him.
“Did you see Howard?”
“Is it so obvious?”
He nods. I look at him. He’s almost as tall as Howard. “Russ?”
“What?” he answers setting the table.
“I’m really tired, I’m not hungry and I survived what is probably the worst day of my life” I sigh “I would really use a sympathy shag right now, nothing romantic, just sex”
He stares at me, drops the forks his holding on the table and walks toward me taking his jumper off.
I bite my lip “can I take it as a yes?”
“I thought you were never going to ask” he says starting unbuttoning my shirt.

In the meantime Mark is sitting in Jason’s leaving room with Howard and Jo.
“Tell him he needs to pull himself together” Mark tells Jay.
“He’s an adult and he knows what’s best” he replies.
“No he doesn’t! He thinks he’s in luvvvv, but let me tell you, once he’s out there he’s a killer! A sex killer!” and laughs.
“Leave him alone, this clubbing thing has to stop, you’re just messing up with him, he’ll be a father in a few months, whether he likes it or not”.
Jo looks at the two of them and says “if this was Jerry Springer that’s the moment Titti comes up from the audience and beats the crap out of you Mark”.
Howard is lying on the sofa and covers his face with a pillow “would you stop talking about me like I’m not here? It’s really annoying”.
“You’re right mate, I tell you what” Mark says taking the pillow off his face and forcing him to stand up “we’re going banjj jumping first and banji shagging later”.
Howard follows him, “Jay you need to save me, at this rate I’ll be dead by the beginning of the tour”.
“I’ll take care of it” Jason tells him “you hang in there Doug!”
“It would take less effort to accept your responsibilities Howard” Jo tells him.
He stops and turns to look at her “you don’t know what you’re talking about”.
“No, you don’t know what you’re talking about and you have no clue what you’re doing either! You should be with her now instead of wasting your time with Mark” and says Mark like it’s a blasphemy.
“Don’t look at me like that” Mark protests “I’m just trying to be supportive, am I the only one who thinks a man has the right to choose too? So they get pregnant, she wants it, he doesn’t want it, why is he to blame and not her?”
“Mark, you lost your moral compass” she hisses.
“Whatever you say, we’re out of here!” and pushes Howard outside.

Jason and Jo stare at each other, “I need to teach the humpa lumpa a lesson” she says
“Honey please… you’re pregnant, there’s no need to worry about him”
“I’m not worried, I’ll just make his life a living hell!”
“You can be so scary sometimes…”

Russell and I are in bed, he’s caressing my hair “that was fun” he says while kissing my head.
“Yes, it was, but it means nothing, you know that, right?”
He laughs burying his mouth into the nape of my neck “you’re every guy’s dream, you want sex and no commitment. I could almost marry you for that”
I smack his chest “scemo, we’re friends”
“We’re naked friends” he points out holding me tighter “in bed”.
“We’re friends with benefits” and I giggle.
“Howard is a moron, can you tell me why he left you?”
“What makes you think I was ditched?”
“I guess the fact you had sex with me to take your mind off of him gave the hint”
“I got news for you buddy! I’m the one who left”
He looks at me surprised, “and it was about time” he lies on his side so he can face me “and maybe one day you’ll tell me what you see in him”.
“You’re not becoming all sappy on me, aren’t you Russell?”
“Never”.
“Good, do you think we can have that Chinese now?”
He laughs “you stay here, dinner in bed”.

While he’s in the kitchen I call Jo.
“Want to hear something crazy?” I ask her
“Always”
“I shagged Russ”
“It was about time! That’s a relief!”
“What are you talking about? I said Russ not Doug, aren’t you shocked?”
“I’m relieved I’m telling you, we’re going through the same hormonal tempest and I saw the way you were checking my husband out. I feared I had to knock you down at some point”
“I would never touch Jay, I would look at him a lot, but not touch him”.
“Really? Because I was checking Howard out before and I would definitely give it a try”.
“Cow”.
“The slapper said”.
We both laugh; I hear noises “I think he’s coming back, talk to you later”.


I move the rice around the container using my fork. “Are you on a diet? I’ve never seen you eating” Russell asks me stuffing his face.
“No, I just had a lot of ice-cream before”
“Sure. May I ask you a personal question?”
“Hum, we’re sitting on my bed, naked, having dinner, I guess you can” and I laugh.
“Cool! Did you have a boob job?”
I almost choke “WHAT?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against it, but I think the girls were perfect before. Now they’re … bigger”
“The girls… I almost forgot you used to call them that” I need to focus on something really sad not to laugh “they’re not bigger, it’s just an impression” I manage to answer.
“Never question a man’s expertise when it comes to boobs, we love boobs, boobs are all we can think about…”
“I get it! Enough with the boobs talk, I did not have any job done” and I roll my eyes.
He places his food on the floor and takes mine off my hand. “Second round on the way darling”
“Ok dude” and I lick my lips.
“Just close your eyes…” and starts kissing his way down my body. It feels so good. He starts licking my belly button and I simply whisper “Howard…” I realize what I said when I hear him moving away from me.
I open my eyes “Of God, Russ, I’m sorry”.
“Me too” and starts getting dressed. I stare at him, there’s nothing I can say now. I hear the door close and I cover my head with my pillow *I’m one pathetic slapper*