SPARKS 32

We’re all saying our goodbyes. Julie and Gordon are now married and I look at them getting into the car driving them to the airport. She turns toward me waving and smiling one last time, I smile back and I mouth “good luck”.
We all have are bags ready.
“Are you coming with us?” Caro asks me
“No, I need to return the car to the airport, so I’ll just see you there. If you manage to check in before I do, make sure you get an isle sit. For me”
“Yes sir” she says raising her right hand, holding it flat, to her right eyebrow
“See you later” and I blow a kiss

Caro checks her watch “I hope she did not have an accident. She should have been here almost an hour ago, and her damn mobile is off”
“Calm down” Felix tells her “she probably managed to squeeze in some quality shopping time. You know her”
“I do and that’s what worries me”
Tricia walks to her with the twins “Nothing?”
“Nothing”
“You don’t think she did something stupid?”
“I have a bad feeling, I should have insisted, she should have come here with us and you” pointing her finger to her husband “should have driven her car! Why didn’t you do it?”
“How come it’s all my fault now?” he asks puzzled, but before she can answer her mobile beeps.
“It’s a text, from Bea”
“Not good” Tricia adds
‘Look inside your handbag’. She does and she finds an envelope, her name on it. She holds her breath, takes my letter out and reads it
‘Dear Caro,
I trust you can break the news to Tricia and Julie. Please wait until she comes back from her honeymoon, she does not need to be bothered with my pathetic love life before then.
I won’t be coming home with you today, or any time soon. Don’t you think it’s a decision I took light-heartedly. I think I know what I’m doing. I cannot go back now because there’s no future for me there, Howard needs to be with his family and if I’m no longer in the picture it will be easier for him to do the right thing. He says he loves me but he hasn’t left her yet. I cannot go back because I cannot bear the thought I lost him for good. Albert is willing to put up with my depressing company offering me a shoulder to lean on. He said I should not worry about a thing. That’s what I am going to do. I don’t want to hurt anymore.
I know it’s a lot to ask of you but please be nice to Howard when you tell him. See? I’m not only weak, I’m also a coward. I cannot talk to him, or any of you. It’s easier if I just disappear.
Maybe Albert is right, maybe all that happened was leading to this. It’s for the best. I tried to picture our life together and he was never truly happy – and I care for him more than anybody else in the world – it was crazy thinking we could have a future. Him giving up is children, me my family. You cannot build a future on so many casualties. I’m sure he will understand.
I’ll come back when I know I can think of him without feeling the urge of ripping my heart off. I am so sorry for letting all of you down.
Please forgive me
Bea’

She finishes reading it and hands it to Tricia. She shakes her head and catches her breath.
Tricia is on top of things as usual, folds the letter and puts it in her pocket. “So, you need to call Howard first, tell him she’s insane but we believe with a proper dose of electroshocks she’ll come back to her senses. Second we track her down and beat the hell out of her. Does it sound like a plan to you Caro?”
She takes a little piece of paper Julie gave her before; she reads it and dials Howard’s number. It rings for a time that feels forever “Hello?”
“Howard, hi. We haven’t met yet. This is Caro, a friend of…”
She hears a loud laughter “Sorry Caro but I’ve been warned! You did not win the bet and you do not get to shag one of us. Unless Bea gives you special permission, in that case I would be delighted to comply and make one of her friends happy!”
She closes her eyes “Howard I am so sorry…”


I’m slowly walking up and down the Italian garden of my father’s villa. Flowers are still blossoming in spite it’s September already.
I hear footsteps behind me, I don’t bother to turn. Albert’s arms encircle my waist “Hello love, I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I’m going to the airport to pick up your uncle. Would you like to come?”
I close my eyes, I simply hate his voice, always so condescending and happy *why are you so happy witless prince? I bet I know* I sigh. I feel so tired all the time, even the smallest activity is becoming painful for me to do. I turn around and smile faintly “No, I’ll wait here. This is my favorite corner; do you know my mother planted these flowers?”
“Of course I do silly”
*I think I will kill you, in your sleep, that’s what I am going to do*
“So you don’t mind if I stay here, do you?” I tell him instead, sounding like a 5 year old begging for an ice-cream before dinner.
“Of course not” and kisses my forehead. What I once called the kiss of death is now part of my exciting daily routine. I feel like we have been married for centuries and we are not even married yet. I hold my mobile tight. I watch him disappear behind the cypresses and I make my call. It’s Tricia’s birthday, mine will be tomorrow. We have celebrated it together for the past 10 years. We have been strangers for the past two months. I know they have been looking for me but I shut them off, all of them. I dial her number, my heart beats fast, a little voice answers the phone
“Hello?”
I feel a lump in my throat “Zac, honey, is that you?”
“Auntie Bea! Are you coming? We’re having a party. It’s mum’s birthday”
“Zac I found it! Come on!” a girl voice whispers
“Who is it Zac?” I ask him
“It’s Gracie, she found the cake. Mom said to stay away from it, but she found it” he giggles
*Gracie, could she be his Gracie?* and I realize how life has gone on outside this villa. People have moved on, while I have been buried between these walls, just like my father.
And Zac has already forgotten about me, as a matter of fact follows Grace and leaves the phone on the table.
I can hear distant voices, maybe Gordon complaining about the lack of what he calls decent beer, and Julie singing a Take That song of course and someone playing the piano. None of them can play it. My stomach does a funny flip.
“Kids I’ve told you many times the phone is not a toy. I just hope you did not call Japan and left someone on hold …hello?”
“Tricia…?”
“OMG! Bea! Is that you? Where are you? How are you?”
“You’re still talking to me…thanks”
“You stupid cow! Where are you? Don’t tell me you did something really stupid like marrying the parvenu prince”
“I’m at home in Italy and I’m not married yet”
“Hold on a second. JULIE!” she yells on the top of her lungs “JULIE”
“Don’t…” but it’s too late. I can hear her on the background. They talk, but they’ve placed something over the phone so I cannot understand what they are saying. I hear a door open and close and all of the sudden Julie’s voice screams on my mobile “You retarded cow * at least we’re improving * how could you do that to me, us, you, him! * boy, she is confused * Start running because the moment I catch you you’ll gonna regret it! And you owe me two months of room and board. You stupid, stupid…”
“I’m sorry”
“It’s not enough! You hear me!”
I take a deep breath and I patiently listen to all the insults she’s screaming through a thin, innocent cable running across Europe.
“Are you done?” I ask shyly
“Yes!”
“I thought you could all come to Florence, my treat. Father wants to celebrate the birthday of the prodigal daughter. There will be tickets for all of you waiting at the Meridiana desk at Gatwick. Flight is at 11:00. Please come”
“Aren’t you forgetting something, or better someone?”
“Please.* Isn’t that ironic? I hear myself begging almost every day, and for the smallest things * What do you want to hear? I try to convince myself it will never get worse than this. I hope every day it will get a little better. It’s just a matter of wanting it and waiting patiently. Let me tell you. It’s not working. So no, I am not forgetting anyone, you have my word”
She ignores my weak voice, and the effort I am making to fight back the tears. “You owe me almost two months of room and board. Dougie *Dougie? How dares she calling him that? * has basically moved in with me and Gordon in the hope you would call or show up. Do you have any idea what having The Body walking around in Calvin Klein underwear can do to another man’s self esteem? My poor husband’s had performance anxiety since we came back from our honeymoon. You know what I mean…”
And we both laugh
* erase the picture of him in Calvin Klein underwear… easier said than done * “So are you coming?” I keep my fingers crossed
“Wait” I hear footsteps, same door opening and closing “Yes we are coming, start running though. I’m still mad at you”

We’re having dinner in the large living room, overlooking the park candles and everything. They all seem so happy, Albert’s mother is pretending to understand what father is talking about. Uncle Will stares at me with a very concerned look. I smile politely, nodding every once in a while and I can almost see my brain flying away with little angel wings * let’s see, if I push this little crumb toward the middle of the table how long will it take father to draw the maid’s attention to it so she can clean it up? ~ I’d say 6 seconds ~ am I really having a conversation with my own brain? ~ I’ll blame it on my overactive imagination ~ go! * and I start pushing the guiltless crumb, slowly, using my index finger. Albert places his hand over mine and smiles at me “What are you doing? You are very quiet tonight” * I am thinking here! Can’t you see? Is being a crashing bore the symptom of a deadly disease? Because if it is you have 3 minutes to live* I sigh “I’m fine. I called the girls this afternoon”
“Don’t call them girls Beatrice, you are women now”
“Yes father. I called the women this afternoon. They accepted the invitation and they are coming tomorrow”
“Brilliant” my uncle says
“Yes brilliant” repeats Albert “excuse me; I forgot I need to make a phone call” and he stands up
*My turn!* I grip his hand “it’s so rude to leave the table during dinner dear, I’m sure it can wait”
“And I’m sure it’s important” my father corrects me. I look at him in disbelief “I cannot say girls and he gets to leave the table?” *oops. Red Code! I said it out loud ~ retreat! Retreat!*
“You are right father, I am sure it must be important” I correct myself in a very low voice.

Albert walks into the terrace and calls Julie’s mobile.
“Hello?”
“Julie, I’ve heard the great news”
“Albie! I can tell you’re head over hills!”
“Don’t call my Albie. If you think about playing some tricks on me forget it. My parents are here and I’m damned if I will let you spoil my big day. There will be a huge, mean guy at the entrance of the villa. Only people on the guest list will be allowed inside”
“You’re boring Albie, I need to go and do something funnier now, like smashing my knees with a hammer” and hangs up.

She goes back to the table and looks at all of them. “Who was it?” Howard asks
She stares at Tricia and Caro who both nods.
“There is something we need to tell you, and Albie dearest just gave me a brilliant idea” and she has an evil grin in her face.