STAND 11

I’m wearing my hat and making sure my parka is buttoned up when Jason runs to me laughing “it’s pictionary time…” and smooches me.
I look into his eyes and smile “I need some me time now. I’m going out. Be back for dinner. You have my blessing, you can play board games, sing, play your guitar and spend some quality time with you mother”
He falls on his knees “oh thank you so much Evil Queen, you are so generous with your poor slave unworthy of such kindness”
I stroke his hair “well, if you keep behaving like this I might just change my mind, stay here and stare at you brothers with hatred” I smirk “what do you reckon? Would you like me to stay?”
He pretends to be deadly serious “you know how much I love you and how much, every minute we spend apart, it’s like a knife cutting open my heart…” I roll my eyes “rhymes cheap by the dozen”.
“I’m not finished” he says “where was I?”
“Something about a knife” I mock him
“Right! And every time you go away, you take a piece of me with you”
“You cheater, Paul Young called, he wants his song back!” and I gently smack his head
He ducks and laughs “I didn’t have time to rehearse; anyway, I think some fresh air could do you good”
“Stupido!”
“Kiss before you go”
And I place my lips over his “see you at dinner Jay”
He grabs my wrist “I said kiss, come here” he says with his husky voice. He pulls me on my knees, cups my face and kisses me. His tongue exploring my mouth. My hands are buried in his hair, his are trying to find their way under my parka. I moan into his mouth. Things are getting out of control until we hear someone clearing his throat. We break our kiss to notice Justin looking at us “sorry to bother you, but mom is in the living room and the two of you having sex in the corridor could be the final straw. I’m too young to be an orphan.”
We both stand up trying to regain some self-control “thanks Justin” and I blush. “See you later love”

I almost run down the street, I’m so happy to be out of that house. I check my watch, it’s 2.10 *he’s gonna kill me, slowly and painfully, damn it!*. I spot his car parked on the other side of the street, I cross it without bothering to check for cars and knock on his window. He pretends not to notice. I rub my hands “Diddilydougie, it’s freezing, open up”
Looks ahead, moving his head following the music he only can hear. I bang my hand on the window. “It’s Christmas, even you are supposed to be nice! OPEN IT! OPEN IT! OPEN IT!”
He unlocks the door so I can open his, “Merry Christmas Diddilydougie!” I try to hug him but he doesn’t move
I make my puppy face “come onnnnnnnnn, I want to have a real merry hug from you, the whole world is peace and love, pleaseeeeeee”
“Get in the car” he pretends to be cold and serious “you’re late”
I put my hands on my hips “if you don’t give me a proper hug we’re going nowhere mister”
“Speak for yourself” and starts the car
I’m keeping the door open and smirk “you should remember I’m pretty good at convincing you doing stuff… do you want me to open up my parka and flash you the way I did in your hotel room?”
I’m just teasing him and he knows but he burst into a loud laughter
I stomp my foot “there’s nothing to laugh about, there are men who would pay to enjoy the view”
“Please keep it coming” and wipes tears from his cheeks
“What’s so funny?”
“That you’re making an ass of yourself in front of my little sister” I freeze, he bends a little so I can see a beautiful brunette sitting by him. She smiles at me and weaves “I’m Sam, nice to meet you, but please spare me”
I smack Howard’s head “you stupid, half witted…”
“Hey” tries to cover his head “what about Christmas, peace, love and rock & roll?”
“I had cramps funnier than you!” I hiss and seat in the back crossing my arms. “And besides, grumpy old man, you are supposed to be merry. I had a heck of a day, I had a fight with Jenny first, with her beloved Jason later and they don’t have coffee in that house. You are supposed to rescue me but NOOO you just let me making a fool of myself in front of her. I’m so gonna tell Lara, knight my ass”. I turn toward Sam and smile politely “is your brother part a cosmic conspiracy? I already hate Christmas there’s no need to work so hard…”
Howard looks at Sam too “what did I tell you?” unfastens his seat belt and gets off the car. Opens my door and drags me out “there’s no need to be so rude, if you don’t want me here I’ll just go back into the house of torture”. I’m standing in front of Howard who’s about to lose his temper. “Shut up” whispers. He moves his hands in the air, like their lost, he looks at me and places them carefully over my head burying his fingers into my hair making his way down to the back of my neck. I just stare back at him, not really knowing how to react. His hands slide down my shoulder and under my arms, he takes a step closer and he locks me into a long and tender cuddle. I’m so surprised it takes me a minute to rest my head on his chest. He leans his face toward mine, his curls tickling my nose. He smells so good. He places a wet kiss on my cheek “merry Christmas” he whispers into my ear. And my body has a life of its own, I feel shivers down my spine, my legs are weak, I feel like I’m falling and he’s the only thing keeping me standing. I just need to be closer to him. My hands slide around his waist, I sigh and bury my face deeper into his body when he suddenly places his hands on my arms and literally pushes me back inside the car. He’s the usual sarcastic Howard “happy now?”
I look at him and nod, trying to remember how to breathe.
He starts the car, we’re both silent so it’s Sam who has to break the ice “So Titti, how did you meet my brother? Even though I can probably get an idea from what you said before” and laugh, the same laugh her brother has.
“Please, not you too”
She unfasten her seat belt and turns back to face me “Put it back on” Howard orders her
“Give me a minute, we’re chatting here”
“I said now! Don’t make me stop the car”
“I said a minute! I’m not 5 anymore, you cannot boss me around!”
“Wanna bet?” and forces her to seat straight ahead using his left arm “Now fasten your seat belt”
“Dictator”
“Monkey”
“Gasbag”
“Spinster”
“Pathetic old man”
“Short substitute of a woman”
“Diddilydougie” we both say and burst into laughter
“The two of you are better shut up. I hate that fucking name, if you don’t stop using it I’m simply going to tell all your most hidden secret. If I’m going down I’m taking both of you with me”


I look at Sam and Howard, especially Howard and the sensation I felt before is gone. *it was just the tension caused by my fight with Jenny, see, you can look at him and talk to him and nothing happens, candlestick as Lara would say ~ keep telling yourself that and maybe someone will buy it*
Sam sticks her tongue out. “Spoilsport” she tells her brother and then turns toward me, simply stretching her neck “see, that’s what my life has always been. I’m the innocent victim of 4 older brothers”
“FOUR?” I say
“Yes, it’s 5 of us, didn’t you know?”
“I forgot… I mean, what’s wrong with you people up here? Long cold winters? Heavy rains? Lack of conversational skills? Can’t you have 1.3 children per couple like in the rest of the United Kingdom?”
They laugh “it’s probably the long winters” Sam answers
“Or the irresistible virility of northern men” Howard adds
“Most likely there’s nothing on TV and anything would do” and I smack his head
“My childhood was hell; they were bossing me around ALL THE TIME! And he was and still is the worst of all of them”. She unfasten her seat belt again
“Sam!”
“Oh come off of it!” and she simply come sitting in the back seat by me
“Happy now daddy?”
“Who am I, the bloody driver?”
“Shut up and pay attention to the road”
“You shut up”
“Is it always like that?” I ask them
“Worse” Sam says “do you want to know what he did with my last boyfriend?”
I nod and Howard starts laughing “it’s not my fault, the man had no sense of humor”
Sam rolls her eyes “I meet this incredible guy, we date for a while and then I decide it’s time for him to meet my family ~ a mistake I won’t repeat any time soon”
“Just because you cannot find another man to date”
“Bone collector”
“She is a model, she’s supposed to be skinny”
“And she’s soooo in luvvvvv! As a matter of fact it’s the firsts Christmas she’s spending with us in 3 years, let me think why…” and places her index finger on her chin “silly me, because you’re famous again! You IDIOT!”
“Weren’t you telling her your fascinating story?”
I’m pissing my pants
“Where was I? Yes, he comes to the house, I’m in my room getting ready and Howard thinks is Ricky Gervais and tells him ‘she’s trying to make herself human, and I bet you’ve noticed she’s really short, don’t worry, she’s just a sample we take around, if you think you like her we’re sending you home the real thing, free of charge’”
“You did not!” I tell him
He nods satisfied “…and he disappeared into the night and he was never heard of again…”
“He was the man of my life”
“Yeah, right!” he says
“The fact you wan the genetic lottery in our family doesn’t mean you can make fun of other people”
He smiles satisfied, “I’m cute, am I not?”
I decide to ignore him, “So Sam, what do you do?”
“She’s a photographer and a good one too, surprisingly!”
“Howard!”
“So what kind of pictures do you take?”
“Landscapes, wild life. I mostly work for National Geographic”
“REALLY? It’s my favorite magazine, after the BL newsletter of course. But I don’t remember any Samantha Donald…but maybe I’m wrong”
“You’re not” Howard says “she decided to use our mother’s maiden name, she’s ashamed of her dancing brother”
She strokes his hair “you know that’s not the reason why, it was just annoying having people asking me about my brother all the time. So I went for Sam Wood”
“IT’S YOU? I framed your picture of the koala bear, the one in their September issue. I love koala bears. And I would love to go to Australia even moreeeee” I clap my hands like I’m 3.
“We should go there together, I’ve been all over the place, I could show you around”
“I would love to, oh my god; I’m in the car with a true artist! And in case you’re wondering I’m not talking about you Howard”
“Merry Christmas to me” he grunts “I need to get gas, the two of you stay inside the car and behave, no bathroom stop, no drink, no food. Any questions?”
“Can I get off and go back home?” Sam asks

Howard is outside, holding is jacket closed, there’s a cold wind coming from up north sweeping the sky from very dark clouds and pushing his curls above his eyes. He’s struggling to tuck them behind his ears. I place my feet on the seat holding my knees with my hands and looking at him.
“So, how long …?” and she points at me and him
“What Sam?”
“You and my big brother, how long has it been going on?”
“There’s nothing going on” and I rest my chin on my knees
“Of course not, so why am I here?”
I look at her puzzled
“My brother practically begged me to come. Is there any particular reason you think he did it?”
I shrug
“He…”
And Howard opens the door and gets into the car “it’s bloody cold outside, it’s a good thing we’re gonna hike the south side of Butt Green”
“Of what?” and I burst into a fit of laughter
“Butt Green, no cheap humor, it’s an amazing place”
“And what are the people living up there called? Cheeks?”
He throws his hat at me “I said no cheap humor”.