STAND 20

Lara marches back into the living room and starts changing the position of the silverware on the table. Gary walks to her circling her waist and kissing her neck “what’s wrong babe?”
“Sod off Gary!”
“Hey!”
“I’m sorry” she lets a fork fall into the table, it hurts a plate that moving slightly knocks down a glass. It’s like watching dominos falling one after the other. Everyone turn to see what’s happening.
“Sorry guys! Clumsy me” she tells them.
“What’s wrong?” Gary asks her
“Your stupid, mental friend!” and looks at Howard sitting on the sofa, Rebecca on his laps. “He’s a bloody idiot”
“Tell me what’s going on, maybe I can help you”
“I can’t” she whines “I promised”. She looks at him playing Romeo with his escort and looks at her husband “You know what? He tricked me! I promised! I won’t tell, but it doesn’t mean I can play his game!” and leaves an astonished Gary to come to me.
She pats my shoulder “need to have a word with you”
I follow her to a corner “what’s wrong Lara? You seem upset”
“Don’t mind me. I’m a lunatic. I can’t explain to you why but I need you to trust on me this”
“What are you talking about?”
“Can you see Doug?”
I nod
“Kill him, I mean make him suffer tonight. Do anything you can. You’re a woman. You know what to do. Trust me, he needs to learn his lesson. And mark my words, only dead men, and my Gary, tell no lies” and leaves.
I look at her walking towards the kitchen instructing the maid to start serving dinner. Like obeying to some obscure female supernatural force I tell myself *Ok La* and I feel like Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, episode 4. *You don’t have a light saber hun,* I tell myself *you better check your make-up*.
She invites us to sit down, and with the biggest smile on her face she shows me my sit, Jason on my right and Howard on my left.
While eating I lean toward Jay, talking to him and Maddi on the other side of the table. I laugh at everything they say, stroking my air and resting my head on Jay’s shoulder. He plants soft kisses on the top of my head.
“Could you pass me the water?” a very much angry voice asks from behind my back. I ignore it.
“Could you pass me the water, please?” he repeats
I place my open hand on Jay’s arm and I sit up, slowly turn towards Howard and grin “the Christmas break did you some good, you found yourself a new girlfriend and you learned some manners. There you go” and I hand him a bottle of San Pellegrino.
He mumbles something but before he can finish his sentence I’m already engaged in another conversation with Maddi. We’ve been a team for years and she plays along with no instructions required.
“This morning Mark did the most romantic thing. He made me breakfast and wrote me a love letter”
“WHAT?” Jason bursts out “I’ve known you for 15 years and I had no idea! You can write! I’m bloody impressed mate!”
Mark looks at Maddi and says with an over-dramatic tone “why did you tell them? They are mean. They’ll make fun of me and I will have to either kill them or leave the band and I cannot go into that bloody Big Brother house again. You will have to pay the bills this time love”
Maddi laughs “that’s ok, if they bother you, you tell me and I’ll kick their sorry arses. Once I’m done with them they’ll need to get themselves new jobs. You cannot dance with broken legs.” And winks at Howard. “Well Jason” she continues “since Titti doesn’t share as much personal information as I’d love her to about your ménage, what’s the most romantic thing you did for her?”
*maybe she needs few guidelines, this is not polite dinner conversation, too personal, even though after the Jacuzzi incident I guess we are way past the ‘too personal’ issues*
Jason puts down his fork and sighs “the most romantic thing? Well, taken into consideration the fact your best friend here has one track mind...”
“Jay enough” I beg lowering my eyes.
He giggles “so I’m really busy trying to keep up with her, I would say it was… ”
and his voice suddenly fades in the background of the sensations coming from my body. Howard is looking at Mark while his right hand slowly moves from his leg to his chair, then my chair and up the base of my spine. His fingertips tracing lazy circles on my top.
I swallow hard and rest my back against my chair, hoping he’ll be forced to remove his hand.
“Markie don’t listen to them. You know we love you to death. I bet your card was really good. So if we ever decide to get rid of you I’m sure Hallmark will hire you in no time” Howard tells him. They all laugh while his index and middle fingers make their way through the bottom of my top and inside my skirt, starting playing with my lingerie. I close my eyes for a split second repressing a moan. I have a quick look at him and I’m sure I saw the hint of a smirk on his face.
I would just smack myself for falling in his trap again *I’ll teach you Mr. Donald*. I turn my back at him and cup Jason’s face looking at him in the eyes “I’m having a great time” I whisper and plant a wet kiss on his lips.
“For Heaven’s Sake!” Gary says throwing his napkin on the table “No, PDA! We’re trying to eat!”
Some of them laugh, someone yells “get a room, you can afford it you know” while Howard catches me by surprise. Moves his hand to my side and pinches me really hard. I shot of pain reaches my brain, I jump and bite Jason’s lip.
He jerks backward. His lip’s bleeding “Fuck, why did you do that?”
“Sorry love, I’m so sorry. My back, I felt like someone was stabbing me”
He presses his napkin on his mouth “that’s fine, better put some ice on it though”
“Come with me” Lara says walking him to the kitchen.
I smile faintly to rest of the people at the table and I keep talking to Maddi. While chatting about the book we’re both reading I move my very expensive Prada boot stiletto hill over Howard foot and press with all my strength. I can see him wincing with pain. *Good for you smartass*
But he pinches me again, not as hard as the first time, his fingers lingering on my naked skin. I’m struggling to control myself. I just want to hurt him now. I want all the friendly faces around me disappear so I can slap him and hit him. And I realize I’m fooling myself. I want to kiss him and touch him and kiss him some more.
In the meantime Jason comes back into the living room, walking back to his seat but coming Howard’s direction. So he retreats his hand with one swift move.


He looks at Jason who rests his hands on my chair and kisses me softly. “Ouch” he says and touches the little cut on his lower lip. “I fear we might be going to experience some troubles hun” and smiles. “I have the feeling you’ll have to do all the work tonight” and winks.
*And he knows. As simple as that. He noticed Howard’s behavior and now he knows. And he’s sending him a clear message* can’t think of enough synonyms for the expression ‘you screwed up big time’.
“I was so hoping we were going to break our routine!” I answer him cracking a joke and wishing he won’t make a scene in front of everybody. But he smiles at me and brushes his nose against mine.
“Well, I guess being the oldest one in the band is really getting to me” Howard says placing his napkin on the table. “I need to go home and get some quality rest. Rebecca, time to go” and takes her arm.
We all look at him puzzled “great dinner as usual La, but I have to go now. See you tomorrow guys”
“On Monday Doug. No rehearsal tomorrow, do you remember? It’s Sunday. People don’t work on Sunday, you are really getting old” Mark tells him.
“Yeah, right” he hisses and simply walks out of the room and to the door. Lara looks at Gary who shrugs his shoulders. She stands up and follows him.
“Doug wait, what’s going on?”
He puts his coat on gesturing Rebecca to hurry up “nothing. Everything is fucking perfect, can’t you see? Do you want to hear me say it? You were right. I hope you’re happy La” he turns toward his escort and snaps his fingers “let’s go, time to get the best out of all I’m paying you babe”
“Howard don’t…” Lara says with a concerned tone
“Bye La, call you tomorrow” and they both leave.

We all leave Gary’s house two hours later. We walk to our car and Jason opens the door for me. I guess this is the time we start fighting. I guess this is the end. But he takes my arms and turns me gently towards him. He leans his lips on mine but before he can kiss me he bursts into a fit of laughter.
“What now?” I ask him puzzled
“Oh boy, I love you so much babe!” and starts placing butterfly kisses on my face.
I look at him and I feel what people in the twilight zone must experience.
“Jason what…” but he silences me with a kiss
He then looks into my eyes “You got me all worried for nothing! NOTHING!” he opens his arms and laughs. “Howard, I mean, good old DOUG! You got me scared for a moment there. I thought there was a chance you had met someone you like. Howard! He flirts by default and I can only imagine what you might have felt. I know you don’t like him and I bet he was annoying too.” He rests his forehead against mine “you have to promise me to tell me if something like that happen again” and hugs me starting to waltz around the car.
“Jason stop it! Someone could see us!”
“I don’t care! You and Howard! That would be a joke”
*yeah, if you say so*
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was taken by surprise…” and I just want to tell him how I feel. I cannot go on like that, I need to tell him what goes inside my head but he silences me placing a finger on my mouth.
“Don’t worry. I know him. He does it with every woman I date. He can’t help it. So it’s not you, it’s him”
I feel like he just stabbed me “what do you mean…” I manage to whisper.
“That’s who he is. He loves to see how far he can go. I bet he called you, didn’t he?”
I nod
“A classic. My poor Italian lady. I should have warned you”
*yes you should have stupid man, you should have. Any idea how I feel?*
“Let’s go home now, I’m tired” I tell him *and so desperate I could just jump into the Thames*
“Of course” and he can’t stop laughing.
I can’t talk to him on the drive home. He doesn’t need me to. He just brags about Howard and his seduction techniques and I try not to listen to him.
I feel like I want to hurt Jason, really hurt him. He parks the car, opens my door and almost carries me into the house. As soon as he closes the door starts unbuttoning my coat. I try to place my hands on his, pushing him away “Jay no, please”
He’s not even listening to me, nibbling my ear. His hands are more and more demanding. He slightly bends his knees so he can slide a hand under my skirt, lifting it up as he caresses my leg.
I push his hand away with all the strength I have “I SAID NO!” and I put my skirt back down.
He looks at me surprised “I thought you were kidding…”
“I AM NOT KIDDING! LEAVE ME ALONE! NOT-IN-THE-MOOD. CLEAR NOW?”
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? YOU FLIRTED WITH ME THROUGH THE ENTIRE DINNER AND NOW YOU’RE NOT IN THE MOOD?”
I march up the stairs and to our bedroom slamming the door behind me. “OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR! WE’RE NOT DONE! TITTI I MEAN IT! DON’T YOU DARE WALKING OUT ON ME, IN MY OWN HOUSE” and bangs on it.
I open the door and I stand there, “I hope you realize you just quoted your mother” I hiss
“LIVE MY MOTHER OUT OF THIS, I’M SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR CONSTANT MOANING ABOUT HER”
“WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO HER! I BET SHE WOULD LOVE TO COMFORT YOU! FOR THE TIME BEING ALL YOU GET IS YOUR DAMN PILLOW” and I throw it at him “AND FIND YOURSELF A COMFY CORNER SOMEWHERE. BECAUSE I’M NOT SHARING MY BED WITH YOU”
“I DON’T WANT TO SHARE MY BED WITH YOU! I’LL BE BETTER OFF ON THE COUCH!”
“DON’T BE SO OVER-DRAMATIC! YOU’RE SUCH A WIMP! THERE ARE 4 GUESTROOMS IN THE HOUSE! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN FIND ONE ALL BY YOURSELF WITHOUT CALLING MOMMY DEAREST?”
He places his hands on his hips “YOU ARE GETTING INTO MY NERVES!”
“DO I LOOK LIKE A CARE?”
He stares at me for the longest time, I’m making my mad face at him. He takes a step forward.
“Don’t even think about it” I threaten him
“Or…?” and he cups my face and places a wet long kiss on my lips.
I break our kiss “Jay… I’m serious…credo di essere inamorata di lui. Sento questa cosa dentro. E’ finita, anche se lui non mi vuole non posso restare con te”
“You have any idea how sexy you are when you speak Italian?” *just because you don’t understand what I’m telling you* and he kisses me again, taking off my coat and taking me to bed. I’m just too tired to tell him no again.