STAND 23

*Hu-ho. Do not give in. You are strong* “We’ll see, never say never again Mr. Bond”
He takes my hand into his and brings it closer to his face as he wants to study it. Locks his fingers into mine massaging them. *not the rubbing thing again. Cannot resist the rubbing thing*
He gives me a mischievous smile “Can I have a chip then? Those bloody rehearsals are killing me. I had great plans of becoming the fattest DJ in Europe. And now we’re working out, and not eating. I think I might faint actually.”
I raise my eyebrow.
“I know you have sharing issues but still. Please?” and does his puppy eyes
“Ok” I whisper
He looks at me in disbelief “did you just say what I think you just said?”
I nod and he’s about to put his hand on my plate when I smack it.
“Ouch, what for now?” he whines
“I pick it”
“What?”
“Beggars can’t be choosers”
“What am I gonna do with you…”
“Accept all my decision graciously and smile?” I smirk and I go for the smaller one.
He laughs.
I take the chip with my thumb and index finger, dip it in ketchup and bring it to his lips. His eyes widen surprised. *pay back time Mr. Donald, this is for the evil rubbing technique. I know your secrets now*. He opens his lips taking the food from my fingers. I take my time removing them so he has time to gently lick them. I smile at him and he says “thanks. You’ve just ruined fish and chips forever. I’ll never be able to eat them the way I used to. There are few things certain in a man’s life, and you just took one away from me!”
I wipe my hand and stroke his hair laughing *this is the perfect kiss moment, but you don’t deserve it yet*
Two ladies who are sitting at the table next to ours stand up and walk our direction. “Fans attacking our left front. They seem too old though, maybe they think you’re Mick Jagger”
He gives me a killer look and turns to them smiling “hello”
“Oh Howdy! My name’s Bonnie and she’s my friend Sandy.” She says with a strong Texan accent. “We’re sorry to bother you, but you seem the only one who could take a picture of us! It’s such a lovely place. So ‘old world’ don’t you think?”
I smile at them too “You’re right. And he perfectly matches the place, he’s old too”
He kicks my leg under the table. I ignore him. “So are you on vacation?” I ask them
Big mistake, they grab two chairs and come sit with us. “Gabby” Howard mouths looking at me. I dismiss him waggling a chip.
“Yes! We’re on a ‘Romantic England in a nutshell’ tour. Some of our friends are walking along the river. We decided to try some authentic English food”
I keep eating, Howard looks at me desperate, *so much fun*. “Romantic England’? What are you looking for exactly?” I say
They bring their plates and place them on our table *be our guests*, they giggle and say “we watched BBC ‘Pride and Prejudice’ and we think English man are so romantic, and tall, and handsome and…” they blush and giggle some more “sexy!”
They both look at Howard, and I can see he’s scared. “Are you British love?” they ask him
He swallows hard “I’m from Manchester, up north”
“Bonnie, did you hear his accent? Oh boy! I’ll need a shower soon” and fans her face. She then turns her attention to me “where are you from honey? Did I pick a slight accent?”
“You sure did Sandy!” I say smiling “I’m Italian”
“What did I tell you?” she tells her friend “English men are the best you can find on the market. She came all the way from Italy to find herself such a fine man. You’re so lucky young lady. He would make a fine Mr. Darcy. Those curls, and those eyes…you’re a real stud!” and giggles
Howard looks at the three of us and I don’t like the evil grin on his face “well ladies, you have no idea how lucky she is. She actually found herself two fine English men”
I try to kick his leg but he avoids my blow and sticks his tongue out.
They look at me puzzled; I smile politely “he’s joking; the famous British humor. As a matter of fact he’s my husband. It’s our anniversary today”. He almost chokes on his drink.
“Anniversary? We need to celebrate!” and Sandy goes ordering a round of beers
Howard shakes his head and moves his chair closer to mine “you’re so screwed Piggy” whispers into my ear. I bite my lip *too close*. He circles his arm around my shoulders and places a wet kiss on my neck, right behind my ear. A shot of electricity travels from my brain down to my groin. He knows exactly what’s going on inside my body and bites me gently. *OMG! Pull yourself together. You’re just pathetic and in case you’re wondering you cannot experience orgasm with just a kiss*
Howard sits up and says “we’ve been married for 4 years and we decided to take a day off. Didn’t we honey?”
I try to put some space between us but he doesn’t let me.
“A day off? Do you have children?” Sandy asks
I’m about to say something when Howard leans toward them and says “we have two adorable kids. Terrence is 3 and Hannah is 1. They’re home with my mother now”
I look at him in disbelief.
“Well” Bonnie adds “we’ll leave the two of you alone now! Could you please take our picture? We would like to have the river in the background”
“I’ll take it” I answer her “so my hubby can be in there to. If you want…”
They clap their hands “of course! Come here, between us! I can’t wait to show it to our friends back in College Station…!”
I’m pretty sure Bonnie’s hand is groping Howard’s ass. So I take my time taking the perfect shot. I can tell he’s really uncomfortable. *fun, fun, fun*
“Well, it was great meeting you, we need to go back to the bus now” they say in sad tone.
“Ciahowdy!” I say. We shake hands and we look at them walking down the trail.
I place my hands on my hips and give him an extremely pissed look.
“What?” he asks not really knowing what’s going on.
“When I married you, you promised we would get a nanny. Your mother is spoiling the kids! Promises! Promises!” I throw my hands in the air “I’m so mad at you!”
He bursts into a fit of laughter “you know we need to save up to pay the mortgage. We cannot afford a nanny and my mother loves the kids”
“That’s not the point! Anyway! Tomorrow is your turn to take Terrence to the speech therapist”
“Why?”
I bite my lip trying to remain serious “luckily the kid got my brain but also inherited your lisp; we agreed we were doing something about it”.
I look at him, ready to rebuke his next joke but he places his hands on his pocket and stares at me serious.
“I’m sorry. I really am” he says “I was an idiot and I understand why you must hate me. The way I behaved on Christmas day has no excuse…”
I know I should run to him now, and hug him tight but my legs refuse to move, so I just stay there. “No, please, no need to…”
“Let me finish, if you stop me now I don’t think I’ll ever have be able to do it again. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable and confused. I should know better. And I should have taken your calls. But I couldn’t. Couldn’t stand the idea of talking to you knowing you were with …”
“There you are!” Gladys almost yells “I made you apple pie! Come inside! I don’t care what your manager says. I know you cannot resist it and you’re all skin and bones! I won’t take no for an answer”. Then she looks at us “Am I interrupting something? You’re not fighting are you?”
This is too much and too fast, cannot take it. “No we’re not” I reassure her, “and the apple pie is a lovely idea” and I follow her into the pub.
Howard comes too. Eats his apple pie, doing small talk with Gladys complimenting for her cooking skills. But I can see right through him. We had the perfect moment out there few minutes ago and now it’s gone. And our time’s up. I need to go back home. His mobile rings and picks it up “It’s Sam” he says. I can see he’s happy she called him back. He walks outside so he has a better reception. Gladys hands me another slice of her fantastic apple pie “so, how long you and my boy have been dating?”
I almost choke “your boy?”
She places her hands on the table few inches away from me, I gulp, “do you realize how lucky you are missy?”
*not really, having a hard time breathing and thinking straight lately though* but I can’t really tell her that, so I nod.
“Good. You make one fine couple” and she smiles at me and hugs me.
I look at Howard, laughing on the phone, happy to be chatting with his sister. I’m sure whatever it was, it’s already forgotten. That’s what it must be like being part of a real family. He runs his hand through his hair and I realize Gladys is right. We make one fine couple.
He walks back in, “I fear it’s time to go back into town”
*no* “So how’s Sam?”
He smiles “she’s fine and she’s no longer mad at me.” He sighs, “all the things I tell her all the time? I don’t mean them”
“She knows”
“I hope so. I’m just shit scared one day she’s gonna come home with some pathetic loser and tell us ‘I’m getting married’. I want the best for her, problem is she’s too beautiful and smart for the men she hangs out with”
“I’m sure she knows that too”
He hands me my coat “we have to go now” he whispers
I take it, say goodbye to Gladys and follow him to the car.

It has started raining; the constant ‘thomp’ of the blades is the only sound filling our ride.
I bite my lip, clench my fists inside my pockets and say “I don’t want to go home.”
I can see his hands shaking a little. He signals and pulls over. Stops the car and looks at me “are you sure?”
I nod “we still have time. I want to do something fun. Unless you’re sick and tired of my company and you want to get rid of me”. He can’t take his eyes off me. I’m sitting in front of a man whose face’s screaming ‘I want to shag you here and now’. Never thought it could happen to me. I guess there’s a first time for everything.
He places a hand on my knee, rubbing it with his thumb “are you sure?” never taking his eyes from mine
“You asked me already, I’ve already said yes”
He nods, not moving his hand.
“Can I ask you a question Howard?”
He nods again, I have the feeling I could ask him the pin number to access his on-line bank account and he would give to me in no time.
“This thing” and I point to him and to me “us, I mean, it’s complicated and unexpected. I’ve heard things about you. And there’s Rebecca…”
“Rebecca?” he asks back puzzled
“Yes, tall, blond, hot, your girlfriend, remember?”
He smiles relieved “she’s no longer in the picture, she was never in the picture”
*I wonder if he has a special bin to recycle ex-girlfriends* I look at him and he guesses what I’m thinking
“No, you don’t understand, she was never my girlfriend. I panicked and I hired her” and does the brackets gesture with his index fingers.
“Ahh” I reply pretending I know what he’s talking about. It takes me a good minute to understand what he means. “Tell me it’s not what I think” I hiss
He rubs my knee with more strength now, “It was supposed to be joke” he tries to defend himself.
"You took a whore to La's dinner party?" I’m so mad I could kill him.
“If you put it this way…I guess…but I meant to…”
"What the fuck were thinking, How?" I almost yell
“Did you talk to my sister? You’re using her exact words”
“That’s why you fought this morning. Isn’t it? I guess that’s the difference between clever people and morons!” and take his hand off my knee and place it on his seat. “We better go and you better not to talk to me right now”
“But”
“I SAID NOT-TALK!” *cannot believe it, wait till I tell Maddi, she’s gonna have a blast, something else to add her stupid list. Could it fall under the ‘he’s a dickhead’ category? I don’t think so*
“I don’t want to fight with you” he whispers
“I guess it’s a little late for that! I cannot believe it!” I’m looking outside the window on my left “I was about to fall in your stupid trap again!” I tell myself.
He starts the car “That’s unfair, I never meant to trap you or deceive you. Shit. I don’t know, I don’t understand. I can deal with women, I really can, believe me. But with you? I fucking screw up every single time”
*not talking to you, not listening to you*
It’s pouring now, I sigh.
“Titti please, talk to me, we can go somewhere and talk. I can’t go through this again”
I bury my face inside the collar of my coat, my hands into my pockets and slide as far down as I can on my seat. My back at him. “Take me home” I tell him with a resolute tone.
“No” he’s even more resolute than I am
“I said take me home. I’m done with you once and for all”
He pulls over in front of a brown building, he’s looking in front of him.
“This is not home. I want to go home”. My voice is cold and commanding. “No. Whatever has happened between us, which unfortunately is not much, is because … I don't want to jump into something. I mean, I do... want to. Badly. I just didn't want to mess this up. Even tough it’s clear I did. Big time. But I want to see if there's an us in you and me. I don’t care what you’ve heard or what you think about me. I want to show you something. And I’m not taking no for an answer. Now get off the bloody car and follow me”.