STAND 6

I open the glass door of the British Library. Outside is freezing cold. It’s 4.45. Scholars and academics are rushing outside heading to the tube station. I reach Euston Road and I see Jason. My heart shrinks a little every time I spot him in a crowd. Hands in his pocket, a scarf and a wool hat, leaning on his car. He’s looking around and our eyes meet. His face opens up to a large smile. I wave and almost run to him “have I told you how lucky I am to have you?” I say
He kisses me “not yet. Why don’t we skip the dinner and we go home?”
He takes my hands into his and places them into his pockets “just me and you lady…I’ve spent all afternoon with Mark, I think I need a break”
“I’d love to, but I haven’t seen Maddi all week, I promise I’ll make it up to you”
“Promises” he mocks me, but smiles and open the car door for me.
Gary’s mansion is just amazing. “How come he lives in palace and you have a house?” I ask him
“I believe they’re called royalties”, smiles and places an arm around my waist.
“Right, he’s the one who knows what a pentagram is… keep getting confused…you’re the one with the looks and no talent”
He tries to smack my head but I duck and laugh
“Come here!” he commands trying to be serious.
I turn around walking backwards so I can look at him “I will, the day you can put three notes together”
He opens his arms and yells “we have a comedian! People come here and look! The best freak show the city has to offer!”
I bump my back on the door and stick my tongue out when Lara opens it with an almost desperate expression on her face “help…please help…”
Jason bursts into a fit of laughter when he sees a peculiar show going on in the large living room. Howard is holding Sophie well above his head. She has her arms spread eagle like. He’s running like a man possessed and screaming “Superbaby flies over the town. She’s the city only hope. She can defeat the forces of evilllllll”. Sophie is laughing so hard I think she might collapse “faster, run faster uncle Howard”. I see him jumping over the coffee table. I close my eyes waiting for the bang but Lara places a hand on my shoulder “don’t worry. She’s in safe hands” and smiles. Behind them Gary is holding Ella and Mark is holding Taylor. They’re struggling to keep up with the first two. “I want to fly with uncle Howard” Ella complaints “daddy faster!”
Gary crashes on the couch and places his daughter on the floor with a somersault. Ella giggles.
“Jay! Good to see you! You have to see my new recording studio” gets closer to him and whispers in his ear “you need to save me. Howard is in a roll and I think he’s just planning to kill me an take my family”
Jason laughs “I would love to see it Gary!”
So while they leave the room I head toward the kitchen with Lara. Maddi has the situation under control. A couple of saucepans are already on the stove. “It smells good” I say
“Ciao, better later than never! Here, wear this” and hands me a pink apron “time to get to work. This is the recipe you need to follow, I laminated it. So you cannot come up with a pathetic excuse like, I spelt juice on it or it burned down or an alien came and ate it. Ingredients are all in front of you. I trust you cannot screw it up”
“Never underestimate my power” I scan the page “Maddi! What’s a ‘C’?”
She shakes her head “It’s a cup” she takes one and points it at me “this is cup! Enough now. We’re going out in the veranda so we can chat and drink some nice tea”
“I want to come to! PLEASE!” no answer “Slave driver!” I complain
“I’m sorry, that’s what happens when you decide to date Jason Orange. We’re TT Ivy league…” Lara tells me laughing and they leave me all alone.
I tie my hair into a loose bun and start reading the piece of paper in front of me, a familiar claustrophobic feeling seize my lungs. *I hate cooking. If god wanted us to cook would not have invented take-away* and I look at Maddi and Lara chatting outside.
“You have beautiful children but they must be hard work. Don’t you miss your old life?” Maddi asks her
“You mean my Barlowless days?” and laughs “Not at all. I met Gary when Take That were no more. I’m a landscape architect. His sister hired me to arrange the park of the mansion he bought up north. It was love at first sight. We started dating like it was the most natural thing in the world and we found out we were a real couple. It’s really the small things that make you understand when you are with the one. We got married 14 months later. We’ve been together for almost 8 years now. The only thing I need to tell you is they” and points at Mark, Jay, Howard and Gary laughing inside the house “are the pay-one-take-three kind of deal”
Maddi laughs “what do you mean?”
“You think you’re dating one but you’re bound to have a crowded relationship. Howard is basically living with us.”
“That’s why Mark is always on the phone with Jay and Gary, I mean always”
“Tell me about it. You need to draw the line somewhere. I did it when Doug suggested he could come with us on our honeymoon, and MY HUSBAND was standing there with an idiotic smile on his face probably thinking ‘why not’” and laughs
“Isn’t Howard with Camilla?”
“The Bratz doll?”
More laughs “yes! Where is she?”
“She’s upstairs, on the phone, as always. I think she’s just pretending she’s talking to someone. She doesn’t like coming here. Just wait and see her during dinner. Whatever she says about the food don’t take it personally. She’s just a natural born bitch, but she keeps Howard away from us at least 3 days a week so I’m happy”
“I AM GETTING BORED IN HERE” I yell “BROCCOLI DON’T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR AND THEY ARE GETTING INTO MY NERVES”
“SHUT UP AND KEEP STIRRING AND BROCCOLI ARE NOT INCLUDED IN YOUR RECIPE” Maddi yells back.
“I’M BEING CREATIVE!”
“NO DESSERT CAN INCLUDE BROCCOLI! I MEAN IT!”
It’s a good thing they cannot see me because she would not appreciate my middle finger waving her direction.

“Stupid whipping/stirring/whatever it’s called activity” I mumble to myself “I was not designed for manual labor, I am an academic. My arm is starting to hurt already. I need poison to add to this stupid recipe” I have a look at Maddi’s instruction “cinnamon” and I add it like I’m making a potion “bat wings, witch’s hair, angel’s eyeball, MUAHAHAHHAHAH”
“Do you realize talking to yourself is the first clear sign of madness?”
I blow a lock away from eyes and I frown “what are you looking at Diddilydougie? Don’t you have a life?”
He’s standing in front of me, little Taylor in his arms. He sits him on the counter, a hand around his tiny waist and reads the recipe “why so crossed Dr. Piggy? It’s not like you were asked to perform a heart transplant. You do realize this was taken from Sophie’s ‘Disney Recipes’ book right?”
I place the bowl on the table “I’ll kill her, do you think Mark would mind if I do?”
He laughs “I fear very much so…” He’s still holding Taylor while bending his face until he’s standing right in front of mine. “If you use the magic word…”
“Diddilydougie….”
“Have fun”, turns away from me and take Taylor back into his arms “you need to stir it with a constant pace and you need more cinnamon. See ya kiddo” and waves
“HOWARD PLEASE!”
He freezes; Taylor giggles “What did you just called me?”
“…Howard…” *did I do something wrong? Isn’t it his name? Yes it is. It’s just four of them, he’s definitely Howard”
He walks back to me “you’ve never called me by my name, ever”
“You must be wrong”
“I’ve been Bob, and Doug, and ‘Hey You’ many times, but not Howard, not once”
“You have to admit it; it’s a horrible name…as a matter of fact we did not even bother to translate it into Italian!”
He looks at Taylor “hey mate, she is the enemy, it’s women like her who make it bad for all of their gender, sad, lonely, frustrated spinsters who think they’re comical”
“Taylor don’t listen to uncle Howard, he’s so worried asserting his virility he cannot face a woman who has critical faculties. I’m sure you’ll be different and you won’t be afraid dating a woman with an IQ higher that her body temperature. A woman who is tough-minded, outgoing, educated, intelligent, confident, beautiful and vital”
He keeps looking at the baby in his arms “I guess your mum invited someone else for dinner, should we go and wait for this wonder woman by the door?”
*Stupid son of a …*
“And FYI” *is he mocking me?* “as a friend of mine once said ‘women get into relationship because they want somebody to talk to. Men want them to shut up’”
I roll my eyes “It was my understanding you could help me out here?”
“Magic word”
I sigh “Please”
He smiles, “Good girl! Hold him!” He’s about to let me take Taylor when he has a second thought and says “wait a minute, do you know how to hold a child? You don’t look like the kind of person who’s around children much”
“You joking? One kid a day keeps the doctor away. Give him to me” and I literally tear Taylor from his arms. I stretch mine so he’s as far from me as possible and start moving him around “is this side’s up?”
Howard shakes his head and takes the bowl from the table “the two of you, by the door, look out. If Maddi finds me here she’s gonna skin my alive. She made it very clear you had to do it on your own”
I smile “Diddilydougie, you are really helping me out, and risking your wellbeing too. My knight in a disco outfit armor”
“I don’t understand why Jay is putting up with you. You were a brat and you still are a brat”
“I beg to differ; I am brainy, snappy, stylish and very sexy woman”
“You forgot delusional”
I ignore him “Am I not Taylor?” he giggles “see? He likes me, he’s one year old and he’s already clever than you”
“How did we get here? I come into the kitchen to apologize”
“What for?”
“For having sex with you”
“You were not that bad” and I laugh
He laughs too “that I know for a fact, I’ve been running the business for a long time and not a single complaint so far”
“The business? Oh my God… and FYI, women lie”
“Not with me”
“How do you know?”
“I know”
“I will have to lend you my copy of ‘When Harry met Sally’, you watch it and we’ll talk about it”
“No, really. I was so stupid; Jason is right. You should have done it with someone who really cared about you”
I get closer and I rest my head on his shoulder, Taylor pulling his hair “you did care about me. You were very gentle, and sweet. I was so surprised when you let me into your room. You couldn’t stand me then”
“Still can’t, believe me”
“Liar”
“I was so much older than all of you. I just didn’t get what Jason was seeing in you. When you showed up I just thought there was something fishy going on. I thought I would simply ask you a few questions but then you took off your shirt…”
I blush “Oh god, I forgot about that, please don’t tell Jason, don’t”
He smiles and whispers “I won’t”
The door opens and Jason enters into the kitchen. Howard sees him and burst out “Taylor, hands off me, you’re hurting me” as a results he pulls Howard’s hair even harder, “Titti take him away!”
I’m surprised by his sudden reaction “I’m sorry” I mumble and I see Jason too.
“What are the two of you plotting?” not a happy voice
“Talking about cooking nonsense. She doesn’t know the difference between parsley and cinnamon. Dump her Jay, she could kill someone one of these days, think of all the bad promotion for the band”
I look at Howard “yeah …right, he’s playing safe. I’m not allowed to ever entering the kitchen. Do you have a kitchen in your house love?”
Howard takes Taylor back into his arms “mate, lesson number one in gender relations, two’s company, three’s a crowd…unless the three we’re talking about are consenting adults and willing to have some fun” and grins
“Howard, get out of here! NOW!”
“Ops, uncle Jay is so conservative sometimes… well” and grins at me “if you have a change of heart you know where to find me!”
“I said OUT!”
I laugh and Jason shakes his head “he’ll never change”
I circle his waist with my arms resting my head on his chest “he was helping me out. I have this bloody recipe to cook and I am back to square one. Help?”
“You need to do on your own”
I do my puppy eyes “you’re kidding right?”
“No”
“Fine, but once I’m done here I’ll be so tired I guess you can just drop me at my apartment. I guess you don’t mind. Do you?”
He looks at me thinking about “I’ll need and apron and” give a look at the recipe “5 minutes.”
*piece of cake ~ pun!* and I smile at myself smacking his bottom “I’m sick and tired of people making fun of my lack of culinary skills!”
“You’re right love, that was really rude”